Should I end it before I end up hurting myself more?

[evel1608]

A little bit of back round about my current relationship. It is very young not even 2 months that were 'officially' together. We were really good friends for about three years prior to us even hooking up. I always had a crush on her but didn't want to ruin the friendship. I made my move on her birthday. At first it was great but after a month or so I started seeing the problems of her not being able to display affection and her being distant at times like she didn't care if this was going to work ect. I told her that maybe its best we stay friends and that I loved her but wasn't in love with her anymore as she has pushed me away. I still had very strong feelings for her but I wanted a relationship and she wasn't ready for one which I been told numerous times.

Behold the next day she writes me a letter apologizing on how she has been acting and that she really loves me and wants to be with me. My feelings haven't gone anywhere and I told her I needed time to think this through. The following day after that I got sick... She knew I wasn't going anywhere and so she brought me flowers, medicine, a magazine and chicken noodle soup.

I thought wow what more could a guy as for, maybe I was wrong. So I ended up giving her a second chance.

At this point were 'officially together' and the first two weeks were amazing, it was great! Yet now about a month later I'm having the same feelings and the same problems I had when we decided to become more then friends. So I made a list of the problems we have.

- Hardly any communication, usually it�s me who makes the effort to reach out. It's getting harder to do so as sometimes I get the vibe of 'you�re annoying' for even asking. Or short answers which raises even more questions than gives me answers.

- We have no sex, or intimacy and if there's any affection from her its few and far in between. The excuse or the reason whatever you want to call it is she has a hard time showing affection, she doesn�t like making out ... We had no sex in over a month which raises even more questions.

- I been branded insecure and that it�s always about my ego. I feel like these two things are untrue and I'm not insecure unless you give me a reason to be.

- I been told I don't try anymore... WTF I come see you all the time, we do things you want to do. I bring you flowers and come surprise you when you�re having a bad day. How about, some ****ing appreciation and maybe I�ll do nice things more often.

- I'm not good enough, as in I'm not doing all that I can to improve my life to the fullest extent. At first I took this as �oh wow she cares.� Now I see it for what it really is, negative reinforcement from someone who isn't perfect or really doing all they can to improve their life. Especially the way this is said to me as if though I really didn�t care about myself, my future.

- We constantly argue over nothing and somehow it�s my fault every time. Unless I bend to how she sees things or admit that somehow it�s my fault then we are not going to get a resolution.


While I give it my all I get very little in return. I thought relationships were about being 50/50. I feel so mistreated, I love this person with all my heart but do they even love me back or are the capable of true love?

Thanks for reading I know this is a lot and there is a lot more. But if you have any advice or comments or questions let me know...

[evel1608]

To give you an idea further of my current experiences with her, here is a description the last time we hung out.

It was Saturday and we talked at 5 pm and she said I'm going to take a shower and head right over. I gave her a call at 7 and she said she's almost done and will leave her house in half an hour. I called again at 8:30 and she said her grandma was over which somehow slipped her mind to let me know and when I said “don’t give me shit next time I'm late” she freaked out at me and denied every single time she has ever done so.

She gets to my house at 9 and we decide to go to the city to hang out with a few of my friends. It was more of a double date than anything else. So we had a good time, or at least I think. She was distant at times but close during other times. And holding hands to her seemed more of “do I really have to” to me it was like “why not were a couple this is what defines to other people around us were together.” I only care because lately she has been distant and showing me very little affection so it bugged me a little more than usual.

We get back to my house at like 3am. I’m really tired and so is she so we end up going to sleep. In the morning I get up at 10 make tea and use the bathroom all that good stuff. I come back in about 30 min later set the tea down and lay down next to her. She ends up waking up at like 12, so we talk have some tea and during that I tried to initiate sex. But it was plainly obvious this was not happening again. She takes a call from a friend and then proceeds to make a list of how she needs to get her life together. This whole time I’m there just watching her do it. I ask about the note as way of showing I care, but instead I got its nothing don’t worry about it. I gave her this upset look and she freaked out at me that she hates when I act this way. WTF, there I go giving a **** and somehow that’s not good.

She proceeds to leave my house talking about how she needs to get all these things done. That was when I really decided to start thinking about why I care so much and or why I should care at all. She obviously cares very little.