If you could never be with the person you love.......

[friendlydays]

If you love someone and that person could never be yours for some reason i.e. becasue of LDR what would hurt you more?

If you love the person and the person loves you very much, you two are very compatible and great together? In short, there's a potential great relationship.

OR

If you love the person but the person tells you he/she doesn't love you to the same degree you love them?

[coffeecrazy]

The first one would hurt more because in the second one she dosn't love you so there would be no chance even if she was near you. They would both hurt though.

[Prodigal]

I guess this is an idealistic look and avoiding the question but I think that the first situation is a bit out of the question. Unless there are age limitations (not old enough to travel, etc.), then if you both saw this potential for a great relationship you'd at least go meet each other, and maybe then that would lead to something else. I'm only thinking in the sense of the LDR, though.

I suppose that if there was another reason for never being able to be with this person (they're married, for example), then yeah, that would definitely hurt more. The second one is something that a lot of us have gone through. Believe me, it makes it a lot easier getting over it knowing the fact that the person doesn't feel the same way for you.

But maybe I'm just hiding from the truth. The truth is that with the LDR it really is hard to be with them. It happens, but it really is close to impossible. But I also think that if you go into a LDR (the key word being relationship), both of you should be aware of the challenges and possibly monumental consequences. But if it isn't really a relationship (as in, you love this person and you know this person loves you, you guys never say it bluntly but you both know because the connection is so great and it is just obvious)... I don't really know what to tell you. If I told you something I'd probably be obliged to follow the advice myself.

[jolovessim]

If you love the person and the person loves you very much, you two are very compatible and great together? In short, there's a potential great relationship.

[Only-virgins]

You posted this all-ready in another section.....how annoying.

[Prodigal]

Aegis- it took me a little while before I found out what LDR meant too. I think it means "long distance relationship".

[indigosoul]

But maybe I'm just hiding from the truth. The truth is that with the LDR it really is hard to be with them. It happens, but it really is close to impossible. But I also think that if you go into a LDR (the key word being relationship), both of you should be aware of the challenges and possibly monumental consequences. But if it isn't really a relationship (as in, you love this person and you know this person loves you, you guys never say it bluntly but you both know because the connection is so great and it is just obvious)... I don't really know what to tell you. If I told you something I'd probably be obliged to follow the advice myself.

Hmmm... sounds like you need to start your own thread Prodigal... what truth are you hiding from?

Anyway, a long distance relationship CAN work. But there needs to be a preexisting, fairly established relationship in order to weather the distance, I think. And a known time limit to the seperation. This is also very important.

Anyway, if I had to pick, it would be the LDR. The loving-someone-who-is-taken-thing (esp. if they loved you back, ow, ow, ow!) would be just awful, I think.

[Chlorine]

Indigosoul---"And a known time limit to the seperation".

That's a good point. An LDR for months on end would drive one nuts. Is there any point in carrying on an LDR though, with people who are only dating. I am beginning to think that this generation has zero staying power, myself included.

I was talking to an old man of 80+. I asked him how he met his wife. He said back than before the war, he was working in the army, and she was a nurse. When he was posted out, they kept in touch through letters. He asked her to marry him on Christmas day 1944, over a crackly line which got cut off half way. After the war, he made it back, and she had waited for him all that while. They finally got married after years of separation. Pretty cool huh?

[indigosoul]

Chlorine--- I think an LDR is possible when dating, but extremely difficult to evolve into something long-lasting. You need time together to get to know each other. Sure, email, letters, phone calls help, but that physical interaction (& not just sex) is also very important.

Ppl can love each other for years and be seperated if there was a strong relationship (lovers, friends, etc.) before the seperation. In fact, I would argue that you never really loved that person if this wasn't the case. I don't think you ever really stop loving someone once you start, the feelings just mellow w/age. Explains why old flames get back together after so many years...

I think your story about the old couple is cute. I totally believe it. I also believe that they knew each other pretty well before they were seperated. This is all I'm saying.