B/F or no B/F...that is the question

[ALovelyLady86]

Actually its not but I was trying to think of a good Title for this topic... lol...
This is more of an update on my current boyfriend situation...
Josh's Pros:
Hard Working
Kind
Genuine
Has Money
Intelligent
Loving
Gives me all the attention I need
Good Looking
Takes me Places
Very Attracted
Mature

Josh's Cons:
Different Religious Preference (big deal)
Far Away
Different Opinions on Relationships (values, etc)
Different Opinions on Everything lol
Not very comfortable with him
Never Calls
More into Casual nothingness than something with substance

Josh and I had a discussion last night about the above, and decided it was best not to see each other any longer, not only that but I found myself thinking of Chris (ex) quite a bit.

Coincidentally (I dont believe in coincidence just so you know) RIGHT AFTER Josh and I broke it off I get a Test Message from Chris saying Love you.. it was completely out of the blue.
Chris comes over last night... everything was PERFECT. He made lots of eye contact and of course we made love... it was definately love making..very sweet..very touchey.. very perfect heres the problem...

I felt nothing (emotionally)
Chris and I have a hard past...long past but hard one. I couldnt have made myself feel anything last night.. just wasnt there.
I told him that this morning.. but since we joke around all the time he turned it into a joke... he can never face the facts.

Chris's Pros:
Hard Working
Intelligent
Good Looking
Funny
Very Comfortable to be Around
A Lot of Fun
Calls All the Time
Comes Over All The Time
Understands my Humor (hard to find)

Chris's Cons:
Self Centered
Emotionally Immature
Avoids Confrontation about Relationship
Wont Take Me Out
Wont Show Affection As Much As I Would Like
Doesnt Pay Attention to Our Needs

If only I could find a man who is a mix of the two lol...
Heres the weird thing... when I was with Chris last night I found myself thinking of Josh.. why is my mind doing this?

[Aveline_Rei]

Maybe it's the thing about you want what you can't have. When you with this person you're missing what you would get from the other if you were with them at that time. You can actually talk about what's really going in the relationship with one and the other sorta avoids it.

[ALovelyLady86]

Well... it makes sense except for the fact that I can have one of them... and I knew that all along... and Josh does have feelings for me, we just have some differences...
Who knows..

[artyemi]

quite a situation you got there... maybe you just still enjoy being with chris sexually, and you're more comfortable with him. He is also your first one, right? SO you may still be attached to some of that old stuff.
I don't know. Sometimes when I read your posts, it doesn't always sound like you're completely 100% happy with Josh. You sound happy, just not completely in. I don't know. That's just my impression. Sounds like you just need a break for a bit.
who knows?

[ALovelyLady86]

Well Josh and I are no more..What I was doing was trying to show you guys more of what I think of the both of them... Josh didnt want to be with me as much as he made out he did in the beginning... which sucks cause he could have been a good one.
When it comes to Chris...I have no feelings for him anymore. I know that if I did let the feelings come back things would just go awry again.....
I think the best thing I can do now is just have a good time, whether it be with Chris or some other people, worry about college, get a good job, and start a life. I dont want to be serious with Chris I do know that...

[artyemi]

yeah.. i got that you and josh are no more from your posting way up ahead...

but in previous postings, there was something in there that just doesn't quite seem like you were.. hmmm.. can't figure out what.. i'm pretty bad with oral communication..

BUT that's nothing.

You should have a good time.

[Junket]

Why go with either?

You're probably better off by yourself.

[ALovelyLady86]

Oh I dont want to be serious with either one of them really... I know that Josh and I wouldnt work (obviously) because of distance and relgious things... Chris and I wont work because we tried a million times before and it wasnt working... now I dont care if I'm with either one really...
It was just odd that when I was with Josh I thought of Chris. Then Josh and I broke up and when I hung out with Chris last night I thought of Josh... I've never had that circumstance before...

[Junket]

Oh I dont want to be serious with either one of them really... I know that Josh and I wouldnt work (obviously) because of distance and relgious things... Chris and I wont work because we tried a million times before and it wasnt working... now I dont care if I'm with either one really...
It was just odd that when I was with Josh I thought of Chris. Then Josh and I broke up and when I hung out with Chris last night I thought of Josh... I've never had that circumstance before...

Eh, it's probably nothing.

Don't worry about little stuff like that, those random thoughts only become anything significant when you focus on them.

[ALovelyLady86]

Agreed....