Fiance cheated with prostitute in amsterdam

[Maple1714]

Hi everyone, thank you for all your replies. I've been to see him and told him I want a break for two months. He accepted it better than I thought he would, no crying thank god! I feel much better now the pressure's off and we've both got time to think about what we really want.

Good idea glad you guys talked and are taking time to figure out what you want right now.

[misombra]

you know i would think that the temptation to have sex for free would be more than intentionally paying somebody to do it with you.

this guys ****ed in the head. i would simply pack his shit and tell him to get going.

[bcgirl]

Originally Posted by dilema
Hi everyone, thank you for all your replies. I've been to see him and told him I want a break for two months. He accepted it better than I thought he would, no crying thank god! I feel much better now the pressure's off and we've both got time to think about what we really want.
Good idea glad you guys talked and are taking time to figure out what you want right now.

Yes and if you'd scroll up you'd see I have that exact advice

[Hotaru]

Hi everyone, thank you for all your replies. I've been to see him and told him I want a break for two months. He accepted it better than I thought he would, no crying thank god! I feel much better now the pressure's off and we've both got time to think about what we really want.

Sidenote: Did you specify what you can and can't do during this break? It could get messy if you aren't clear about boundaries.

[bcgirl]

Good idea glad you guys talked and are taking time to figure out what you want right now.

Yes and if you'd scroll up you'd see I gave that exact advice. Guess I can't be that insane

[AnnonymousMan]

Yeah, I asked if if that's all he did and he swears that it is. But would he really tell me now? He also swears he used protection.

I haven't spoken to him yet and I've changed my mind, I'm going to tell him I want a break, he's just going to have to accept it. If he's truly sorry he will right?

I 100% doubt a condom was used. In fact I would be willing to bet he did no such thing. No, unfortunately seeing how you reacted to the little amount he did tell you he probably will never tell you anymore. He will stick to his story that he didn't do anything more than he already stated. If he is truly sorry then yes he will accept it and wait for you to forgive him. But even still, I would question his commitment to you.

For future note, if you find out he has cheated on you NEVER go off angrily and confront him immediately. Always sit back and gather more and more evidence. I have done this to girls before because if you tell them upfront you will never know the full extent of it. Forgiving this guy will also make him more secretive about his cheating. People only get better at hiding things so it is best to gather evidence before confronting them.

[misombra]

leave him alone forever. waste of time and energy. it's good you know now before you got married and had kids and all that.

[sssspanos]

I'm afraid you deserve a man that will do double the things he's done and you ll never know about them. He seemed to be honest with you but you couldn't cope with this. Come on what do you think about all the couples you see around you.. It's very bad to say lies, but the worst thing is to lie to your own self...

[AnnonymousMan]

I'm afraid you deserve a man that will do double the things he's done and you ll never know about them. He seemed to be honest with you but you couldn't cope with this. Come on what do you think about all the couples you see around you.. It's very bad to say lies, but the worst thing is to lie to your own self...

lol honesty doesn't correct the fact that he ****ed up.

[bcgirl]

Cheating is one of the worst levels of betrayal. In the two months that u have to dwell on this, there needs to be absolutely no contact. No txt msg each other, or meeting each other on weekends for coffee. None of that. If u do, one cup of coffee will lead to two which will lead to dinner and then bang you are banging each other again. Remember, if you do decide to take him back.... You will have to be able to put his infidelity in the past (which can be the hardest thing to do).

[AlexD]

Well coming from a male perspective, at least your boyfriend had the courage to tell you what he did, and he feels very sorry about his actions. That at least displays some sort of empathy and he's not a sociopath who just doesn't care.

On another note though, it's all up to you. What do you value in a partner? What do you disapprove of in a partner? It's ultimately your decision to keep him or dump him. The ball's in your court.

Coming from my personal perspective, I would never be able to trust a cheater again. Staying with them would just create insecurity and misery for myself. Anytime they go out with friends and I'm not there, I would wonder "Is she cheating?".. Now that's just personally how I am. If someone displays a behavior as extreme as cheating.. I have to let them go NO MATTER WHAT, because nothing can replace the trust I had in them.

What it ultimately comes down to is YOUR perspective. Are you okay with open relationships? Is cheating something that you can just look past? Do you want to stay with a man that thinks it is okay to have sex with a prostitute even though he's been in a 6 year long relationship? Do you want to stay with this man when there's another man out there that WON'T do this to YOU?

[misombra]

screwing a prostitute is worse then cheating. it's a complete **** you to your relationship. it indicates an extreme level of desperation and brain malfunction.

[TheSaint]

He never screwed her to be fair, it was just a bj with a condom. You get more skin contact in the morning rush hour on the tube. A lot of women and wee poofs over-dramatising it here.

[bcgirl]

He never screwed her to be fair, it was just a bj with a condom.

There is always more to the story when it comes to infidelity. He says it was a bj with a condom. Sure sounds better than telling the whole truth. He could have very well had his vacation like this:
day one :it was bj with a condom,
day two :the boys and I visited the brothels again and this time it was sex,
day three : I went back again this time without the boys because that red headed broad has the nicest ass I've ever seen and I paid to anal her

[smackie9]

Yes a lot of the friends that were there are married or engaged, he said they were all doing it.

Well you are the company that you keep...what other reason other than smoke some hash would him and his buddies go there for a stag duh. And as for the jealousy thing....that is an act of a guilty conscience, don't kid yourself, he has done other things on his outings with these guys before, so this bj is nothing new to him or his friends.....I feel sorry for the wives and GFs that waste their time being with such shleps.