Built In Slut Meter

[Wakeup]

This whole thread has me stumped. I had sex with my partner on the night of the day we met. A whole night of glorious, mind blowing shagging. He asked me out on our first date shortly after and we've now been together for 20 years.

Why does the fact that I followed my instincts and had sex with someone I barely knew make me not relationship material? And if I'm not relationship material, why is our partnership so good?

Obviously your guy didn't apply the double standard.

[smackie9]

This whole thread has me stumped. I had sex with my partner on the night of the day we met. A whole night of glorious, mind blowing shagging. He asked me out on our first date shortly after and we've now been together for 20 years.

Why does the fact that I followed my instincts and had sex with someone I barely knew make me not relationship material? And if I'm not relationship material, why is our partnership so good?

I had a one night fling while camping one weekend that turn into a relationship (we are still friends to this day).....and my numbers were never a deal breaker with any guy I had dated. I guess I never had a run in with any of the insecure ones.....hmmmm I'm lucky then. I never had to deal with such bs.

[basilandthyme]

thinking further about your question...considering that I shagged my husband on the day we met, it's clear that I don't have a 'built in slut meter". The reason why?

I don't see the point in refraining from sex so that some guy with double standards will appreciate me. I would not accept a man with double standards - so I don't care what they think and I won't adapt my behaviour to please them. I think that women who go along with this theory are endorsing the double standards which men place on us.

Truth be told, back in my youth, I was never rejected for having had early sex. If anything, I'd have those guys chasing me for a relationship. Perhaps they were intrigued by my confidence and willingness to break rules?

Maybe it's a cultural thing....but, generally speaking, Aussie guys just don't seem to reflect that double standard which I see written about so often. Quite a number of my friends had first date sex with their husbands so clearly, it's done them no harm. One of my friends even had to ask a guy what his name is following their first night of meeting and shagging. They are happily married now with a child. At least I remembered my partner's name LOL

[dickriculous]

Interesting view. Causes and consequences make sense but do you mean within the present time? Because in the past she could of been really ****ed up and ****ed a bunch of guys yet now she has changed therefore her causes and consequences have changed. So would you judge her past causes and consequences?

It's not black and white. You have to use your own judgment to determine the possibility of regression in that particular situation.

[dickriculous]

thinking further about your question...considering that I shagged my husband on the day we met, it's clear that I don't have a 'built in slut meter". The reason why?

I don't see the point in refraining from sex so that some guy with double standards will appreciate me. I would not accept a man with double standards - so I don't care what they think and I won't adapt my behaviour to please them. I think that women who go along with this theory are endorsing the double standards which men place on us.

Truth be told, back in my youth, I was never rejected for having had early sex. If anything, I'd have those guys chasing me for a relationship. Perhaps they were intrigued by my confidence and willingness to break rules?

Maybe it's a cultural thing....but, generally speaking, Aussie guys just don't seem to reflect that double standard which I see written about so often. Quite a number of my friends had first date sex with their husbands so clearly, it's done them no harm. One of my friends even had to ask a guy what his name is following their first night of meeting and shagging. They are happily married now with a child. At least I remembered my partner's name LOL

A lot of it is cultural. Places like Japan, Brazil, and many Western European societies are relatively sexually open.

America, on the other hand, is far more repressed. You will hear us say that "we're all whores" and that we're sexually progressive and whatnot but that's more of an illusion than anything. We just say things like that because it makes us sound enlightened and evolved and implying those things about our society gets us off.

I think a lot of it has to do with how forcefully religion is pushed into government affairs. Abrahamic religion essentially controls American government, it's reasonable to assume that this is a significant contribution to our repression. In the state where I grew up the repression issue is so severe that strippers now have to wear bikinis lmao. Ironically the college I went to was the #1 college in the nation for STD's many years in a row. Seems forcing repression into a society has proven itself counterproductive. One would assume the rational conclusion to draw is that we should do something along the lines of, you know, not forcing repression into our society. But the anti-sex extremists in power are as stubborn as they come.

What's funny about the double standard, at least here in the states, is how it's actually a two sided double standard.

If you're a woman and you fukk around a lot you are a whore who deserves no respect. If you are a woman and you don't fukk around a lot you are a paragon of virtue and morality with high standards that come with being a goddess of the highest caliber.

If you are a man and you fukk around a lot you are a stud who is held to God-like status. If you are a man and you don't fukk around a lot you are a gay monk who barely deserves to have a penis.

My culture is so silly when it comes to sex lol.

[surfhb]

A lot of it is cultural. Places like Japan, Brazil, and many Western European societies are relatively sexually open.

America, on the other hand, is far more repressed. You will hear us say that "we're all whores" and that we're sexually progressive and whatnot but that's more of an illusion than anything. We just say things like that because it makes us sound enlightened and evolved and implying those things about our society gets us off.

I think a lot of it has to do with how forcefully religion is pushed into government affairs. Abrahamic religion essentially controls American government, it's reasonable to assume that this is a significant contribution to our repression. In the state where I grew up the repression issue is so severe that strippers now have to wear bikinis lmao. Ironically the college I went to was the #1 college in the nation for STD's many years in a row. Seems forcing repression into a society has proven itself counterproductive. One would assume the rational conclusion to draw is that we should do something along the lines of, you know, not forcing repression into our society. But the anti-sex extremists in power are as stubborn as they come.

What's funny about the double standard, at least here in the states, is how it's actually a two sided double standard.

If you're a woman and you fukk around a lot you are a whore who deserves no respect. If you are a woman and you don't fukk around a lot you are a paragon of virtue and morality with high standards that come with being a goddess of the highest caliber.

If you are a man and you fukk around a lot you are a stud who is held to God-like status. If you are a man and you don't fukk around a lot you are a gay monk who barely deserves to have a penis.

My culture is so silly when it comes to sex lol.

Thanks for stating the obvious. Youre obviously young so please come back and start a thread with some substance

[dickriculous]

^^ and what's got this charmer in such a lovely mood?

[searock]

Haha... surfhb, dickriculous's post was very good IMO, and clearly the OP needed to hear all that or he wouldn't have opened a thread as silly as this one... I don't think it was out of line :-)!

[AnnonymousMan]

he's just not understanding what he's studying, otherwise he wouldn't be opening stupid threads like this one.

lol I am just curious as to other people's opinions. The amazing thing is science is subject to change. Do not take everything you have learned from science as science fact. My original post is open to debate. I have already studied the "scientific explanations" on men and women and how they operate and I was just curious to gather other people's opinions on the matter. You guys need to chill lol.

[HeartIsAching]

thinking further about your question...considering that I shagged my husband on the day we met, it's clear that I don't have a 'built in slut meter". The reason why?

I don't see the point in refraining from sex so that some guy with double standards will appreciate me. I would not accept a man with double standards - so I don't care what they think and I won't adapt my behaviour to please them. I think that women who go along with this theory are endorsing the double standards which men place on us.

Truth be told, back in my youth, I was never rejected for having had early sex. If anything, I'd have those guys chasing me for a relationship. Perhaps they were intrigued by my confidence and willingness to break rules?

Maybe it's a cultural thing....but, generally speaking, Aussie guys just don't seem to reflect that double standard which I see written about so often. Quite a number of my friends had first date sex with their husbands so clearly, it's done them no harm. One of my friends even had to ask a guy what his name is following their first night of meeting and shagging. They are happily married now with a child. At least I remembered my partner's name LOL

Wish I could thank this post. Gave you some rep instead.

I'm one of those guys. Don't particularly care how many guys a woman has had. I got lucky with my wife. She's still in the single digits... but I wouldn't care if it were triple digits if she were clean.

[searock]

Don't particularly care how many guys a woman has had. I got lucky with my wife.

If you don't particularly care, then why do you say you "got lucky" because she's still in the single digits? Wouldn't it be exactly the same to you, if she had been with a lot more men, assuming she was clean and not still hung up on any of them?

[HeartIsAching]

If you don't particularly care, then why do you say you "got lucky" because she's still in the single digits? Wouldn't it be exactly the same to you, if she had been with a lot more men, assuming she was clean and not still hung up on any of them?

I don't particularly care, but given the choice, who wouldn't choose a partner of either sex that had had fewer lovers?

Well, ok, there are exceptions - I'd rather not break in another virgin... I haven't patience to bring one of those down to the proper level of perversion. And I'm glad my wife had A) a few partners before me. B) A love of reading, and the occasional appetite for girl porn (the printed kind) C) an active imagination and D) a really good brain.

[Maple1714]

How did I miss this thread?

Growing up in the U.S. I definitely have a "slut meter" that was instilled in me throughout my teenage years. I grew up with a lot of guys in my neighborhood as my childhood friends....and they were always calling girls sluts and saying things were slutty blah blah. So, I was terrified to do anything with a guy. I grew up in a very conservative and religious part of the U.S. It took me until the past 4-5 years to realize "Hey, I can actually go have fun sexually with a man and not feel guilty about it". My sister even still told me a few years ago when I was single "be careful not to rack your number of sexual partners up just b/c your single".

I think I want to move to Australia.

[AnnonymousMan]

"be careful not to rack your number of sexual partners up just b/c your single"

Sounds like you grew up within the same type of society I did.

[Maple1714]

Sounds like you grew up within the same type of society I did.

I am from the capital of the Confederacy...a place that will forever be stuck in time....and that time being 200 years ago.

It's ****ing ridiculous really. I think there will always be a huge double standard in the U.S. when it comes to many things. I like sex and I really wish I had a lot more of it with different men before I "settled down" for the time being....