Elegant yet affordable

[kleaners]

My plan is to propose to my girlfriend of three years, this coming May. We'd probably be married a year later. My girlfriend wants the dream wedding with banquet hall, DJ, photographer, flowers, etc. Unfortunately neither of our families will help pay for the wedding, so we're on our own. She'll be earning her master's degree in May - so she's currently going to school and working part time. She has no money saved. I have some money saved, enough for an engagement ring and any emergencies that should arise. While discussing how to pay for a wedding, her first suggestion was take out a loan - I told her I'm opposed to starting our life together in debt to pay for a party when the money could be better used on a down payment for a home. While she agrees about the home part, she still wants a fairly expensive wedding ($10,000 range?). The more I think about it, the less confident I am we'd be able to afford what she wants. I don't know when she'll have more than a part time income coming in, and wedding planning requires down payments that I know we don't have. I'm not going to pay for everything. I'm planning to talk to her again about my concerns, but I was wondering if anyone has any suggestions as to how we can have the dream wedding at an affordable price.

[basilandthyme]

Kleaners, for what she wants, $10,000 is a very low cost wedding! Extortion, isn't it! I'm a woman and I agree with all you've written. And call me unromantic, but I could never go along with getting into debt just to be a princess for a day. The whole thing makes me concerned that she'd be more invested in the party than your financial future....and given her lack of ability to contribute financially, I believe she's hardly in a place to ask for the dream wedding.

I'd ditch the idea of the traditional wedding and look at having a cocktail party wedding. Hire a nice hall, get a caterer, trestle tables covered in white cloth and buy the alcohol by the case.

[HeartIsAching]

Why not purchase the house together, and have combination wedding/reception/housewarming party in the back yard?

[IndiReloaded]

Weddings are a scam. Excuse for a big party. If you are from a wealthy soap-opera style family then fine (but not really, give the money to a charity).

Example of brain washing in our society.

[HeartIsAching]

Weddings are a scam. Excuse for a big party. If you are from a wealthy soap-opera style family then fine (but not really, give the money to a charity).

Example of brain washing in our society.

They certainly are. Best wedding I ever had (geez, that sounds bad, but it is what it is) was in the courthouse on my birthday. Stepson and mutual friend in attendance. We went out for chili dogs after.

[kleaners]

I know I have a lot of time and I'm happy to have at least started the discussion with my girlfriend. Her sister, who recently got engaged and will be getting married in 2014, will also be paying for her own wedding. Without any prompting from me, she told my girlfriend putting a down payment on a home is more important. I told her to keep drilling that idea into my girlfriend's head. Hopefully reality sinks in when it's time to start planning.

I like the suggestions above and will pass them along.

[Fruitsss]

Hmm,...first off.....why doesnt you guys parents wants to help with the wedding?
Sounds like kind of a red flag or a situation to look at.
If one is mad or not agree with it okay....., but both?
Maybe cause its clearly not a good idea????????for what ever reason???????


If u cant deal with money now it will be worse in marriage.
That counts for u and her.
So u have relationship to get to know each other and to see if its a good match.
So i would see it like she will bring you in a lot of dept if u marry her.

Party is not the most important thing. Look at celebs. Nice wedding nice dresses , partys in palace but
no love, they marry and get divorce like idiots.
But i do understand that as a woman we love to have a nice wedding.

But if u dont have the money for that u need to work hard and save, or do it the way u can at that moment.
If u want to marry a year later she can be mature enough to go work her ass of that year to
make the wedding her way.

I dont see a reason to get into dept that is not really necessary cause u guys still students and
doenst have a serious income.

She have the wrong mentality. She need to think about working hard to get to her things and not the easy way.
And u can also have a small nice wedding(the fist one).
If u r creative.
And save money and get make the second wedding(church wedding) a big one.

And u guys are not that long together and doenst have that much history together i guess. so why
start it all with making dept and stuff.
U are a student so make it a student wedding. U can make it a millionaire one if u dont have the cash

[kleaners]

Fruitless - my parents can't afford to help pay for a wedding. My girlfriend's family isn't in a position to help pay for a wedding either.

She works part time only because she went back to school to get her master's degree in education. She graduates in May. She had to take a part time position at her job because she had to student teach during the day and wouldn't have enough hours to work full time in the evening. I've been out of school for 12 years and work two jobs to pay my bills, including a mortgage on a condo which is worth less than I owe because of the economy.

I agree we will have to get a little creative and save money where we can. Hopefully we can make it work within a budget. But that's contingent on her giving up on the idea of a dream wedding. I'm doing my best to convince her the party won't be the most important thing in our life.

[stephenmusic]

Yo just do it yolo lol... not jk i dunno but you should look on wedding websites and see if ther eis anything around

[smackie9]

I have avoided having one all my life and will continue to do so. I'd rather go buy a Corvette and drive the piss out of it lol. There is more pleasure in that until I smash it up.