She says she cannot do commitment.

[johnny_c]

There is a girl I have known for about about year, on and off. But in the last month, we have been in a social group and got to hang around with each other loads. I've got to know her and have now seen her in a completely different light. I've been single for all of this time...and I would dearly love to start a relationship with her, beyond our friendship. But it is not something she will even contemplate. She has never been in a relationship with anyone, and doesn't think she could handle it, letting all the barriers come down and sharing a life with someone. She just wants to have a casual relationship with me (although she wasn't clear as a one off, or an on-going one). I'm less keen on this to be honest for a number of reasons. It's not something I've really done before. I'm a bit frigid about sex. We basically have the opposite problem.

The other night on a night out, with a few drinks in us, at stupid o'clock, she said, 'I don't deserve to be loved.' I said she did. Then she told me off for using her words against her. She is quite out-going and seemingly happy, so this statement was surprising and makes the issues even less clear.

What do people think? We are in the same social circle, am I on a hiding to nothing...so should I just keep my distance from her? Or try and embark on a one-night stand and hope that brings us closer? I am a little confused about what to do to be honest.

[AnnonymousMan]

Do not one night stand her if you want something serious. She said she doesn't deserve to be loved and you say she cannot commit. She obviously fears getting into a relationship. Find out what scares her so much about it. This is my guess at least.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Don't embark on a one night stand, with the intent of bringing her closer. Just **** her but don't act interested, and keep after other girls. After a while, she'll either come around or you'll find someone whose wants match yours. No need to miss out on no strings attached sex.