So shattered

[Andrew R]

Hello,

This is my first post on this forum and I am looking for some serious advice so be prepared to read.
Basically I have been with my girlfriend for about 6 months things got "official" and pretty serious about 3 or 4 months ago... She has been in one relationship prior and it was her first love. Before she was in that relationship her and I had casually hooked up. To me it was purely physical I could tell she may have felt something. at the time at which this occurred she had been talking to a guy for a couple weeks (nothing to serious) who shortly thereafter she got into a relationship with and like I said before, it and was her first love, from my understanding there was alot of fighting and he may have cheated on her..Throughout the course of their relationship I would see her around from time to time, we didnt really talk but the way she would look and me really felt like she wanted something. Her EX hated me, and was worried that she would hook up with me I think. I would not want to do that to somebody. We did not get together sexually over the course of their relationship. So they were together for about a year or so I think, I dont know many details about their relationship only what I would hear through the woodward, (he treats her bad etc etc).. Towards the end of their relationship we had been at the same party.. I overheard that she didnt want to be with him anymore because he is really mean and things just werent working out. At this time she made every effort to be at outings where she knew that I would be attending. Shortly there after she broke up with him. About two weeks or so after the breakup her and I were at the same party and sparks were in the air.. we had sex. Afterwards she had felt bad about sleeping with me ... Ill make one thing very clear the girl has morals and would not get around.. Over the course of the next month her and I started talking quite frequently at this point I did not display much emotional attachment because I was pretty sure I was the rebound guy.., She started pursuing me very diligently and would want to hang out alot.. We started having sex frequently and I felt myself starting to feel for her emotionally. The next month things started to heat up and we were spending alot of time together and she really showed signs that she liked me. I asked her to be mine. A few days after we started dating I got a text from her EX saying she was drunk and texting him. He apologized to me for things and said he didnt want problems he just wanted me to see that shit is a bitch. She told him that she still loves him and crys all the time.. He also told me that while her and I had been seeing eachother that they had sex once. Well I was crushed to say the least and told her that I am here for her and I really want to be with her. I understand that this was a big deal for her.
Time passed and we grew closer and closer. Several times when we went out drinking it was clear she started feeling upset but she really bottled those feeling up. I may also add that She has no contact with her EX (as far as I know) and does not even have him on facebook. She tells me all the time how much she loves me and how much I mean to her. We talk about doing things together in the near future and how happy we are. I am so in love with this girl it is silly. She means absolutely everything to me and tells me the same all the time. I would do anything for her. We spend every single night together and usually the days if we are not working or at university. Everything just seems so right,.
THIS IS WHERE IT GETS TRICKY
the other day I was doing some cleaning and I came across her diary, I would not snoop or have any reason to but, I made the big MISTAKE of opening it up.,... What I saw confused me.
She writes in there about how perfect I am and how I am so great, She also talks ALOT about her EX she talks about how she would have made different choices and how things are haunting her, she says she has dreams about him almost every night, she says she feels ashamed because she has me and shouldnt feel like she does. She writes about the past when her and her EX used to have sex. The worst part of it all she talks about how big his D*** is. (ouch) Throughout the pages i am regarded as perfect and she says she loves me. She is also writing about how she loves her EX and wonders if he thinks about her.....
WHAT SHOULD I DO I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE TO BEGIN.
PLEASE GIVE ME ADVICE

[AdminOnline]

the other day I was doing some cleaning and I came across her diary, I would not snoop or have any reason to but, I made the big MISTAKE of opening it up.,... What I saw confused me.
She writes in there about how perfect I am and how I am so great, She also talks ALOT about her EX she talks about how she would have made different choices and how things are haunting her, she says she has dreams about him almost every night, she says she feels ashamed because she has me and shouldnt feel like she does. She writes about the past when her and her EX used to have sex. The worst part of it all she talks about how big his D*** is. (ouch) Throughout the pages i am regarded as perfect and she says she loves me. She is also writing about how she loves her EX and wonders if he thinks about her.....
WHAT SHOULD I DO I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE TO BEGIN.
PLEASE GIVE ME ADVICE

pretty rude to read someone's diary.

It also sux to know your gf is still thinking of her EX.

you can try hang onto the relationship or quit this relationship.


P.S this might not be the best advice. wait for other members to contribute their opinion.

[surfhb]

You were a dick for reading her dairy.....to make matters worse, her Ex has a bigger and better dick than you. My advice is either swallow the pride and continue with her or call it quits because you will always know what she did and NO WAY you could bring it up to her.

Good luck....dont be a douche next time. Beside....she sounds kinda like a hussie