should I break up with my bf who calls me names?

[slswee]

on every day he likes to call me "punk", "pain in the butt"....that's okay if said in a lovely way, but it doesn't make me feel very good if he constantly call me that.
However, if we fight, he'd call me "bitch", "dumb a$$", "mother f*cker", there was one time even "you piece of crap". That really hurt me. Told him to stop doing that, but doesn't seem he can control himself if we fight. We yell at each other when we fight, and he always says I started the fight, I wanted the fight....I didn't, who would want a fight w their loved one? I hated that he claimed stuff during a fight, saying "you started the fight!" "you worry too much and it's ruining the relationship!" he never talks about himself. He makes me feel very confused, mad at myself and him, hurt, and really really depressed. I am seriously thinking about breaking up with him, should I?
we've been together for one and a half years now. Since the 4th week, it's never been smooth. I am a graduate student with a thesis to finish in 2 weeks, how should I manage the break-up during this special time of my life? and to make it worse, we are currently living together.

[HeartIsAching]

Dunno... do you like emotional abuse?

[Over The Fence]

If you're being the subject of abuse, verbal or physical, it is a good idea to end the relationship. There isn't much more to say, but it sounds like you need to consider leaving. Make an escape plan, somewhere to go, and be ready to have a friend help you pack up when he is at work or in class. Let him know once all your things are packed that you're leaving him, I'd recommend a note on the kitchen counter, that way you can avoid confrontation.

[TheSaint]

Dunno... do you like emotional abuse?

lol. It's just normal couple behaviour. I've called my woman much worse just for giving me a cold coffee. This is nothing like abuse, emotional or otherwise.

[TheSaint]

If you're being the subject of abuse, verbal or physical, it is a good idea to end the relationship. There isn't much more to say, but it sounds like you need to consider leaving. Make an escape plan, somewhere to go, and be ready to have a friend help you pack up when he is at work or in class. Let him know once all your things are packed that you're leaving him, I'd recommend a note on the kitchen counter, that way you can avoid confrontation.

Here we go................

[TheSaint]

I despair at this place.

[slswee]

Thank you. I have the feeling that he shows signs of emotional abuse. The only reason I stayed in the relationship for so long is because I always have this mentality that I am not a perfect girlfriend that he wants me to be, I should try a little harder to be the best gf I can be. For example, I'm kind of messy and he doesn't like that. this mentality makes me stay in the relationship and always have the hope of trying trying trying. is it wrong that I think this way?

[TheSaint]

Yeah, being messy can be really annoying to a dude. Why does a woman have to leave her knickers on the bathroom floor after a shower? Pisses me off.

[Over The Fence]

Thank you. I have the feeling that he shows signs of emotional abuse. The only reason I stayed in the relationship for so long is because I always have this mentality that I am not a perfect girlfriend that he wants me to be, I should try a little harder to be the best gf I can be. For example, I'm kind of messy and he doesn't like that. this mentality makes me stay in the relationship and always have the hope of trying trying trying. is it wrong that I think this way?

Yes, it is wrong to think this way, you shouldn't have to improve yourself because you're belittled by your boyfriend. Everyone has perks and quirks, and they should be accepted by their significant other as they come. Trying to be perfect because that is what he wants is a long road with no end. You're here asking if you should end it, so deep inside, you already know the answer to the question.

[slswee]

Yes, it is wrong to think this way, you shouldn't have to improve yourself because you're belittled by your boyfriend. Everyone has perks and quirks, and they should be accepted by their significant other as they come. Trying to be perfect because that is what he wants is a long road with no end. You're here asking if you should end it, so deep inside, you already know the answer to the question.

I have been thinking about breaking up with him for some time now. The few times I brought up the topic it didn't end very well. He got really angry at me when I said we should break up, and he said I didn't care about the relationship, I said breaking up just to hurt him....it seems like whenever he got angry at me, I became weak and could not insist on my own opinion and I just went with his logic and his idea. I'm clinically depressed by the way, maybe that's why I have such a weak mind.

[Over The Fence]

I have been thinking about breaking up with him for some time now. The few times I brought up the topic it didn't end very well. He got really angry at me when I said we should break up, and he said I didn't care about the relationship, I said breaking up just to hurt him....it seems like whenever he got angry at me, I became weak and could not insist on my own opinion and I just went with his logic and his idea. I'm clinically depressed by the way, maybe that's why I have such a weak mind.

The concern here is that you're bringing the break-up in as a conversation piece. You have the strength to start (which is the hard part), you just need to follow through. When you bring it up, he throws it back at you and pretty much says it is your fault that you want to break up. It may be, it may not, but at this point, it doesn't matter anymore. You know what you need to do, so the conversation should be one sided. Start it off with "I want to break up, and I've made up my mind about it." From there, the conversation will go into pleading, begging, maybe crying...you need to get through all of that to come out better on the other side. Also, breaking up WILL hurt him, but that is the unfortunate, but necessary, reality.

If you are concerned about your physical safety, I recommend one of two things: 1) Do as I recommended above and leave when he is not around, or 2) Call a friend or family member and explain to them that you're going to break up with him, and have them call you back in 15 minutes to ensure you're safe. It needs to be someone close who CAN come and check on you.

[searock]

When you bring up the break-up conversation, he starts manipulating you into changing your mind. He does so by making you feel guilty and belittling your very judgement, with statements like "you're only doing this to hurt me". He is sick, and dangerous, especially to someone depressed, like you are.You need to get away from him. Do like Over The Fence said, pack up your things and leave when he's not in the house, then leave a note to tell him that you broke up with him. Block his number, e-mail address and anything else that might make him reach you.

[Fruitsss]

break up this is bad .

[HeartIsAching]

lol. It's just normal couple behaviour. I've called my woman much worse just for giving me a cold coffee. This is nothing like abuse, emotional or otherwise.

Wrong, moron. Name-calling is emotional abuse.

See the irony in this post?

[Maple1714]

I didn't read anything else but the OP's title....

Yes, dump his ass. No one should be calling you names!!