Friends With Benefits

[Fruitsss]

I had f uck buddies...I didn't have sex with friends. No emotional attachment is key. If you are friends, text each other all the time, hang out together, you may as well call it a relationship.

we know u r a slore! urghhhh

[lolove]

There is a huge difference between having a friend that you've never dated but decide to only have sex without the intention of it going further and going out and getting to meet someone new with the hope that it will lead to something further. Both things are different from one another in intent.

I won't argue that, but that still doesn't mean that the person that victimized themself was being used or using.

Alright, think however you would like to.

[Wakeup]

No, not repressed what so ever. I am content with my life as of the present.
I am celibate because I think it is healthy at this point in my life, despite my beliefs as a Christian.
I love sex, but I don't believe a relationship of mine will ever succeed unless I wait until marriage for it. That goes for anyone.

Then I was correct... you are religiously repressed. Your choice but try not to think that people who do actually enjoy sex are being used because they choose what they choose. You don't know what sex even is yet.

FB's and FWB's is definately not for everyone. It can be argued that no one should be doing it. (I have argued that most are unable to do it) but no one is being used when they both agree to what they are getting into.

[lolove]

Then I was correct... you are religiously repressed. Your choice but try not to think that people who do actually enjoy sex are being used because they choose what they choose. You don't know what sex even is yet.

FB's and FWB's is definately not for everyone. It can be argued that no one should be doing it. (I have argued that most are unable to do it) but no one is being used when they both agree to what they are getting into.

No, not correct. Not repressed. Just happy God was there to show me some light.

How are they not being used? Tell me that.

Do not tell me what I know. You have no idea what I know.

[Wakeup]

Ive told you already why they are not being used. You however have not told us why they are being used. You are just giving us your religious beliefs which you are entitled to... I'm just countering that dogma with factual information based on the true difinition of "use" and the true definition of "victim."

[frenchy]

So would you think that because this guy want multiple sexual partners and he may have low self esteem himself....??? this is why he can't commit to one person only...

It's situational. Some people take on FWB and have multiple sexual partners because they need it in order to validate themselves and use it as a barometer of sorts to measure their self worth. These people probably have low self esteem. Others simply see it all in good fun - absolutely nothing wrong with that.



You an I must differ in the way we define "using" someone. FWB = NSA sex which is simply meant to be all in good light-hearted fun. I've always known "using" someone to mean keeping them in your life for the primary purpose of furthering a personal agenda, or attaining a goal, where there is often an element of deceit in the midst.

I think saying one person is usually not okay with it is simply too generalized, I don't think one would be not okay with it unless they had the agenda of making a relationship out of it in the first place and if that's the case then it's the one with the agenda who is doing the using, not the one who expected NSA sex. I'm sure it's also possible for one person to develop feelings for the other after they truly meant for the sex to be NSA but I'm skeptical toward the notion that this is the norm compared to someone having an agenda to begin with.



When you say "catch feelings" do you mean "fall in love"? I didn't fall in love with everyone I liked enough to be friends with and ended up fukking. Different strokes for different folks. Some people fall in love if you pay them a second thought. People like myself happen to be on the opposite end of the spectrum.

[smackie9]

we know u r a slore! urghhhh

You silly bunt.........

[smackie9]

So would you think that because this guy want multiple sexual partners and he may have low self esteem himself....??? this is why he can't commit to one person only...

It's different for guys. When it comes to low self esteem they let girls walk all over them....better known as a doormat.

[frenchy]

Hum.....ic.... well i guess maybe is just not really this time in his life....

So if i would ask him to do something this weekend tonight of tomorrow night and he brush me off that he's busy again...how would you take that....?? Would you be offended and never ask him again or just brush it off and say well I won't ask again and if he really want to do something he will contact me and get on with your life ....cause they only time i see this guy is during the week once I would preferd the weekend do something...but has not happen for a month now...

It's different for guys. When it comes to low self esteem they let girls walk all over them....better known as a doormat.

[smackie9]

I wouldn't even bother. I dated a guy that only saw me like once or twice a week. He didn't meet my expectations so I dumped him.

[frenchy]

I wouldn't even bother. I dated a guy that only saw me like once or twice a week. He didn't meet my expectations so I dumped him.

I wish to be as strong as you...cause i am having a hard time to let go...there is something that i am attracted on him...but can't figure out what..why i got hock on him so quick after a break up...now i having a hard time...its not the fwb that i have a hard time with it the fact that i am the one who mostly contact him during the weekend...he contact me during the week him...so.. I think in times i will get tired of it and it will fade away, well at least i hope so...

[lolove]

Ive told you already why they are not being used. You however have not told us why they are being used. You are just giving us your religious beliefs which you are entitled to... I'm just countering that dogma with factual information based on the true difinition of "use" and the true definition of "victim."

If you have a "friend" or seek out a "friend" for personal gain, that is the act of using someone.
Whether both are okay with that or not.

People that are in a FWB kind of relationship are not going to think
"Oh, I'm being used." Because they are using, too. They are "gaining."

It's mutual. "I use you, you use me." It's a deal two people make together.

In that kind of relationship, people typically don't focus on what is actually going on.

I did tell you and you haven't told me anything.

All you have told me is that is that if both involved are in agreement, that no one is being used, but that couldn't be farther from the truth. They have agreed to use each other for the time being because neither one are desiring commitment.

My religion is completely irrelevant to this topic.

[lolove]

use
[yooz or for pt for mof 9, yoost; yoos] Show IPA verb, used, us·ing, noun.
verb (used with object)
1.
to employ for some purpose; put into service; make use of: to use a knife.
2.
to avail oneself of; apply to one's own purposes: to use the facilities.
3.
to expend or consume in use: We have used the money provided.
4.
to treat or behave toward: He did not use his employees with much consideration.
5.
to take unfair advantage of; exploit: to use people to gain one's own ends.

[Wakeup]

Okay, so in other words no matter what dynamic you are in with someone then you'll be using them in some capacity, if one uses your explanation. For instance. When you commit to someone for life, you are using them as your life-partner. He is using you for his life partner as well. You are both gaining personally from your partnership or marriage so even though you're in a committed relationship you are still using one another ~ If you apply your meaning of the words "using one another for personal gain." All people "use" people then and therefore; FWB is no more using someone then being married is using someone. Both dynamics are a type of relationship where two people, through mutual agreement are gaining something from the other. Use/Use.

[dickriculous]

So would you think that because this guy want multiple sexual partners and he may have low self esteem himself....??? this is why he can't commit to one person only...

I don't have enough information to judge his self esteem. The only thing I know about him is that he doesn't want to commit right now. Or maybe it's just you he doesn't want to commit to. Maybe he's afraid. Maybe he's just horny and wants variety in his partners right now. Maybe he doesn't see you as relationship material for whatever reason.

What smackie said about the difference in men and women is tru tho, men with low self esteem are more likely to be doormats than they are to show their low self-esteem through their sexual activity.