Criticised for my past relationships

[DanielJackson]

I've been dating my gf for over a year now. However the last 6 months of it has been long distance. Since she left to go back to her mums house in a different city, she has been constantly judging me and criticising me for my past relationships and dating. She goes on about how she waited for the one to take her virginity and i didnt, and im therefore a bad person. Everyday it seems like we constantly argue about my past, and my 2 ex-girlfriends. She once made me write out a diary of what i had done sexually each time to my exes. She now refuses to sleep in the same bed as me when shes down visiting me. She even went through my entire fb and criticised me for having liked a females fb page or still having pics of my exes on my fb.

She also says that she cant trust or respect me because i have lied to her 3 times. 1st lie, was when i looked at her phone/messages and she found me looking and i said i hadnt but then eventually owned up to it. I didnt do it because i was suspicious, i did it because i was nosey i guess. 2nd time, she accused me of being 'obsessed' with my first girlfriend because i kept going back to her. I eventually admitted i might of been obsessed i dunno. and 3rd time was when i liked a models fb page (before i met my gf), and i told her i didnt find her attractive.

Anyway, she says because ive lied 3 times she now doesnt trust me and cant find away to want to stay in this relationship. I keep begging for one more chance because i dont want to lose her, i love her so much i genuinely believe she is my soulmate, if soulmate exists.

Any advice guys of what i should do?

[When.Doves.Cry.]

Your girlfriend is being stupid. Everyone tells stupid little lies - and if she thinks she doesn't, then she is lying to you and herself.

Just tell her that you can't change your past, so she needs to either accept it and get over it, or not accept it and leave you.

Those are the only two options here, unless you want to stay in the relationship where she behaves like a brat toward you for something she obviously doesn't accept.

Tell her to make her choice.

If she decides to leave you, don't be sad about it. I can tell you, her behavior is crazy, insecure, and selfish.

[basilandthyme]

Daniel, if a man said these things to me, he'd be thrown to the kerb so fast that he wouldn't know what hit him.

I'm concerned that you want a girl who treats you this way. Just in case you weren't aware, her behaviour is completely unacceptable.

You really need to give your self esteem a reboot. And the next time someone treats you like this, dump them on the spot. With so many great girls out there, don't settle for a nutter.

[DanielJackson]

I know that her behaviour is unacceptable, but i keep thinking once i get a job where she lives, we'll live together and everything we will ok. We even picked out an engagement ring a couple of months ago.

[When.Doves.Cry.]

I know that her behaviour is unacceptable, but i keep thinking once i get a job where she lives, we'll live together and everything we will ok. We even picked out an engagement ring a couple of months ago.

Living with her will make these issues worse, not better. You'll never get a break from her, and she'll never get one from you (so she'll find more things to pick at you about). How would living in the same house make constant arguing decrease? It's an opportunity for an increase, if anything.

Look, you can already see that she gets mad about small things and blows them way out of proportion and is the type of person who doesn't get over things. If that's what you want to live with and marry yourself to, go ahead. Just think about it for a minute. Why would she just magically change for the better? And if you could get her to change her behavior, would it last?

[Wakeup]

I know that her behaviour is unacceptable, but i keep thinking once i get a job where she lives, we'll live together and everything we will ok. We even picked out an engagement ring a couple of months ago.

Swell... get to it then.

[Hotaru]

You need to lay it down for her - she chills the hell out and works through her issues or you go. Really, this is unhealthy and she has so many hang ups that getting through it is going to be very nearly impossible.

Take it from me - my past relationship used to resemble yours in a way. Her behavior is indicative of someone who is insecure, inexperienced, and in need of serious stabilization. I doubt moving in with her will change it and don't even think of proposing. Getting engaged/married doesn't just fix things.

[Boisdevie]

I know that her behaviour is unacceptable, but i keep thinking once i get a job where she lives, we'll live together and everything we will ok. We even picked out an engagement ring a couple of months ago.

You sir are a fool. Somehow magically it'll be better in the future. Engagement rings? Jeez, where to start. Run away as fast as your stupid little legs will take you. She's a loony, a certifiable fruit loop. Will your love magically change her? No bloody way.
I have a few rules in life. One of them is that I stay well clear of people who try to treat me like shite. You might like to consider doing the same.

[IndiReloaded]

Crazy alert. Run while you can.

[Cerby]

Swell... get to it then.

Don't encourage him You know darn well that it won't get better with them living together!

[searock]

she waited for the one to take her virginity and i didnt, and im therefore a bad person. [...] She once made me write out a diary of what i had done sexually each time to my exes. She now refuses to sleep in the same bed as me when shes down visiting me.

WTF!! The diary thing is about the most crazy and stupid thing I've ever heard... why would she do that to herself?! No wonder she doesn't want to sleep with you anymore, she probably has all those images running through her mind every time you get close - and it's her fault!! Unbelievable... *shakes head*

As for the lies, I actually understand her. I have a complete-honesty policy. I tolerate pretty much anything, except being lied to - no matter how small the lie may be.

So the question is: how does she react when you tell her things the way they are, instead of lying to her? Does she get mad every time, or does she at least try to accept even the uncomfortable truths? If it's the former, then I can see why you would lie to her. It doesn't make it OK, but you were just adapting to a not-OK situation. Otherwise... sorry, there's no excuse and I think she's right not to trust you.

Anyway, she says because ive lied 3 times she now doesnt trust me and cant find away to want to stay in this relationship. I keep begging for one more chance because i dont want to lose her, i love her so much i genuinely believe she is my soulmate, if soulmate exists.

Any advice guys of what i should do?

You should take the escape route she is offering you and leave. Do NOT propose to her: if your relationship is so bad now, imagine what it would be if you actually moved in together.

[dickriculous]

I know that her behaviour is unacceptable, but i keep thinking once i get a job where she lives, we'll live together and everything we will ok. We even picked out an engagement ring a couple of months ago.

Bro...you need to be seeing a professional. You have some pretty serious codependency issues and if you don't do something about them they will bring you and your love life down indefinitely.

This thread is full of people who don't have your codependency and all of them would've left her God knows how many red flags ago. How much more writing on the wall do you need? There's so much writing on the wall now that you can't even tell it's a wall anymore, it just looks like a giant ink blot.

Seriously...get help.

[Charlie Boy II]

She once made me write out a diary of what i had done sexually each time to my exes. She now refuses to sleep in the same bed as me when shes down visiting me.

This is the most hilariously retarded thing I have ever read.

[Fruitsss]

hahahahahhahaha i can understand her worrys and stuff.

but what i dont understand is why did she even date u knowing that u did slep around like many others.
if she did find that a issues she should have wait for a virgin nice guy to sleep with instead of open her legs with u.

and she behave kind of extreme with that diary thing also.
maybe she have some other deeper issues that doesnt have to do with u.
even thou u give her reasons to doubt u. u both are childish. whats the age/??
u need to grow up and stop lying u made it more difficult for yourself.

u cant change much about her she need to find help herself if she have a more seriously issue.
and leave u cause u are doing to much retarded stuff/
break up or keep argue everyday to make your point. thats not wort it.

[DanielJackson]

Yeah im 23, she is 21. You may be right that i have codependacncy issues i dunno. All i know is i love her, but she has to stop obsesseing over my past, and i dont know how she can do that.