Is confidence REALLY that "sexy"...

[HDBadger]

I disagree that it takes confidence to approach women. Courage? Sure. But not necessarily confidence. Webster defines confidence as the quality of being certain, or belief one will act in an effective way.

There's nothing "certain" about approaching a woman, and even if one has "belief he or she will act in an effective way," that doesn't mean the woman will respond.

So no, you don't need confidence to approach a chick. You just need a pair of balls. And having balls and being confident are not necessarily the same thing.

[Love'sReject]

I think you're exactly right. Best way I've heard it expressed./

[smackie9]

Courage is only short term first step, but to succeed you need confidence which is a long term characteristic.

[Wakeup]

I disagree that it takes confidence to approach women. Courage? Sure. But not necessarily confidence. Webster defines confidence as the quality of being certain, or belief one will act in an effective way.

There's nothing "certain" about approaching a woman, and even if one has "belief he or she will act in an effective way," that doesn't mean the woman will respond.

The certainty that is needed in approaching a woman is the fact that you know you have the courage to actually do it and the outcome will not affect your esteem because if you're turned down, it's simply no more than a lost opportunity. LR... do you have that kind of courage... those types of balls? What everyone else here has been doing is giving you some ideas that will help you to get thouse kinds of balls and you've just come back and told us why those ideas would never work for you.

So no, you don't need confidence to approach a chick. You just need a pair of balls. And having balls and being confident are not necessarily the same thing.

Confidence comes from achievements and goals being met. Balls come from experience and doing things that are outside your comfort zone. They say that if you do something 3-5 times in a row that it becomes your own personal routine/habit.(so choose healthy things to do repetatively) If that thing is outside your comfort zone but you fight that angst and get through it... it will become your habit and no longer will it be outside of your comfort zone... you've now achieved the confidence that comes from having those balls that Badger talks about.

[NatalieJaynexo]

To be honest, I guess the whole 'confidence being sexy thing' depends on the woman. If he's decent looking and treats me right, I couldn't care less about confidence!

[Love'sReject]

If only girls had that kind of mentality here, but this is the O.C.: everything is superficial, all the personalities are a façade..

[smackie9]

Sorry but horribly insecure and socially inept doesn't fly. Life is all about involment with socializing, entertainment, activities, being outside the comfort zone, trying new things, being adventurous or spontaneous....someone that's willing to step up to the plate (confidence)...without that a relationship gets stale, frustrating and boring for the long haul,.... you end up wanting to bust out, and for some find someone meet someone that makes then feel alive again and you get left in the dust. This happened to a friend of mine. Her BF was shy, a recluse, didn't handle social situations very well, was very passive, she couldn't handle it and dumped him for someone else.

[Love'sReject]

Nah, I found out confidence doesn't mean much to broads: they just like those who most successfully convey it without really having it (that or hiding dark secrets or habits). The way to get chicks is to know how to manipulate their brains, using psychology and role reversal.

[smackie9]

To act untouchable, and be confident that you don't NEED someone, wins.

[Love'sReject]

Yeah, but that's kind of a lie, since save for very seldom cases, most people actually literally NEED other people especially in a consumer culture like North America. Now somebody reading this might chime in with a standard "I don't need anyone, I'm so totally radical and independent, man! I just use shared ideas, wear label clothing, buy consumer goods, use collective abstract thinking like our syntax, words, beliefs and conform to certain societal conventions but no, I'm like Jesus but way more independent. It's just if my phone died, or my Internet was taken away or if I didn't have modern technology, I'd just shrivel up and die"...I hate the kind of people that think they don't really need anyone.

[smackie9]

People need people, whether for friendship, or relationships....it's a no brainer, people like to be able to share their life with someone. Some people have different ideas on what their ideal relationship or life is. It totally depends on personality. If it isn't a relationship, you still want to be a part of something.