Do you ever get over someone you truly love?

[imadesklamp]

My ex and I dated for 14 months and I am deeply in love with him, and I know he loves me. We broke up a little over two weeks ago, and there isn't a second where I haven't thought about him and wondered how he was doing. We talked a few days ago and he told me he does still love me but he can't be with me because he can't handle a relationship, and he doesn't know if we will get back together or not when he's ready. He said it's not that he doesn't want to be with ME, he just doesn't want to be with anybody at the moment (he's also not the kind of guy to hook up with random girls, so I'm not worried about that). He kept telling me that he's not worth it because he's not worth much of anything and that I shouldn't wait on him (he has horrible self esteem issues), but I don't know.

I don't understand how he can go from loving the hell out of me one week, to completely ignoring me the next? I know he's not feeling okay, as he told me, but I really just don't understand.

So my question is, do you ever truly get over someone you really love?

[Call Me Maybe]

yes, you do eventually get over them. It took me years to move on from my first girlfriend

[bcgirl]

It's called time. U eventually will heal

[Amena]

Hello all!
It's been almost 3 years for me, and I still think about him...it probably takes a new love to forget an old one!

[haxan]

I have to say that your confidence in his complete lack of interest in randomly hooking up is very naive.

The it's not you, it's me, (it's not that I don't want to be w/you, I don't want to be w/anyone) line is the oldest in the book.

You've been dumped. Don't be one of those that sit around waiting for him to get bored and finally call you.

[IndiReloaded]

Do you ever truly get over someone you really love?

Define 'get over'. Stop loving, is different. Not in my experience.

[haxan]

I can't grasp the concept of not getting over someone that you 'love' when the love stops being returned. At some point you'd better, or there's some serious internal issues that need addressing.

Now some type of tragic circumstance, yes, I could see never quite getting over it.

[IndiReloaded]

Haxan, I'm sorry but do you have children? I'm guessing not. There are times when people love and it never goes away. Ask a widow(er). There's even scientific evidence for this kind of attachment. The hormones and neural pathways established with very long relationships are different from short romantic-based relationships.

But I agree, 'getting over' a loss is different and does happen with time. Also, perhaps some people attach less deeply than others.

[Cerulean.]

I've never gotten over my 2nd love. He's actually still a close friend of mine. Sounds weird, but I am okay with us just being friends. I have a positive attitude with where I will end up in life, and I know I'll be okay. So basically, I can't answer that for you, because I still have those feelings. It's not strong feelings where he consumes my thoughts or stops me from dating, but they're tucked far away. It'll completely fade when someone better comes along and wins my heart, but it really depends on the person.

And honestly, you can't judge your situation because the breakup is fresh and new. Maybe while you two go your separate ways, and you have different experiences and let time pass, will you then be able to judge your feelings.

[imadesklamp]

I have to say that your confidence in his complete lack of interest in randomly hooking up is very naive.

The it's not you, it's me, (it's not that I don't want to be w/you, I don't want to be w/anyone) line is the oldest in the book.

It's not me being naive, it's just how he is. He told me that himself and his friends have told me that; he's just not that kind of guy, believe it or not. Some people don't find any fun in hooking up.
We're both at fault with our breakup, so it's not really a "it's not you, it's me" situation.

[Marlee]

If you want my opinion I will say no, you never fully get over them. It's hard and it hurts, that's love for you.