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Thread: Should I leave this girl?

  1. #16
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Hmm...she sounds a bit like me :-(
    That was what my boyfriend liked least about me. Opinionated, argumentative, aggressive.
    Then he had me realise how much he disliked it. He would say so calmly what he was feeling. He told me that I was difficult to talk to when I would get in those moods. But what really stuck with me is when he described it to me once and said 'when you get like that I think "here we go again, she's never happy, I can't do anything right". That's when I realised that when i was yelling it really didn't have anything to do with him and it made me so upset to think he felt like he was doing something wrong. Now when we disagree I try to be civil about it. I don't raise my voice. I have a few times, but not nearly as much as I used to, and he's really noticed that. I like that he's appreciated it. Maybe you could try something similar? She's likely angry about something else in her life, like I was, and maybe she just needs a gentle wake up call for her to realise that you feel hopeless in the situation?

  2. #17
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    You should not love her because she loves you. You should love her character and how she carries herself. Try asking her if she is angry at some issue and needs some space to think. Maybe she is unaware that there is some deep resentment in her and she is taking it out on you. This may require taking some classes, as suggested by VincenzoG91, but the change may take time. You need to consider whether you are able to go through this with her.
    Last edited by BlueberryCookie; 17-12-12 at 01:06 AM.

  3. #18
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Quote Originally Posted by Fruitsss View Post
    ...sex is not a obligation if u r not married so thats no issue
    WHAT? Not an issue in who's mind???? Yours? That is asinine! And LOL "obligation", you should WANT to do it, not feel you HAVE to. You must be a barrel-o-fun in bed.

    Any girl I was with, we had sex at least once a day each day we are together.

  4. #19
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    I have been in this situation myself. My boyfriend was sick to death of my attitude, mood swings and aggressive attitude. What caused it for me was PMS. I said to him over and over yes I will change and I wanted to but I never found the motivation or had the push until one night we hit breaking point and he told me to pack my stuff and that's when I realized wow, i've been an utter bitch simply because of my hormones and I promised him there and then if he gave me one more chance, I'd change. I went to the doc the next day and got giving cerazette which is a contraceptive that is usually prescribed for PMS as it doesn't contain oestrogen so stops ovulation and its really has helped my mood sooo much which is shocking because usually pills, from my past experiences made me an utter cow. I also take Vitamin B6, Magnesium and calcium with vit D and those help mood swings too. The big argument was about a month or 2 ago and we're still not 100% better yet but we don't argue as much and when we do, its resolved 100 times quicker and if I say something bitchy without thinking, I instantly take it back and all is forgiven.

    Maybe just trying the vitamins or going to the doctor to talk about antidepressants maybe or the contraceptive pill would help. If she tries this and it doesn't improve, at least she tried but if she makes no effort then that is a different story

  5. #20
    IndiReloaded's Avatar
    IndiReloaded is offline Yawning
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    "Hot Love Pancake(s)"
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    I've always observed that, for decent people who love each other, problems are almost never entirely one-sided.

    I agree with Vince. She needs to get herself sorted out. I've read our brains don't really settle into 'adulthood' until around 25, so there may still be opportunity for her to mature (she needs to). Personality and response patterns get much more ingrained once we hit our 30s. If you are going to act, do it now.

    As for you, again I agree with Vince. Sounds to me you've been a bit too indulgent of how she makes you feel when you are hurt or upset. How are your communication skills? You sound a titch conflict-avoidant to me. That behaviour comes with its own set of problems. I suggest you become more assertive--not aggressive--there is a big difference. Google - there are plenty of books about this. It will help you with interactions with her or whomever you end up with next. Good luck.
    Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
    --Cyteen by C.J.Cherryh

  6. #21
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Your pros for wanting to be back with her are great, but they are not equally weighted to her cons because as someone who has been with someone with all of those traits and more, you are headed down a road of self destruction with her. The end decision is yours, but as someone who has been there in the past...cut your losses hun. : (

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