Marriage With Two Women

[boobaa]

I have been viewing this forum for a while, now I am a registered user and already this forum gets sicker in my opinion. But I won't say it is wrong, I just say I don't like it. But well, you never know, maybe on day, I turn out the same... Maybe we all do.

[Loveboat]

Just wanted to let everyone know that I celebrated my anniversary on Wednesday June 15th. Wife and MIL are fine and doing well. We had a pool party. After everyone left we sent the evening renewing our love and vows to each other.

[shh!]

Wow, I thought this thread had died for good, and now you bring it back again? Are there not better ways to get a little attention?

[artyemi]

die, thread, die...

[whaywardj]

Assuming this whole thing is for real, Loveboat, Blue's reponse seems pretty reasonable to me. Don't have a child until the tri-lust thing goes away. One of the objectives of being a parent is to give your children the best possible start in the life to which you've brought them. Rearing children in such a household as you describe only puts a burden on the children by NOT starting them off in their lives with the best possible advantages in a culture where intimate relations between authority figures is so different than the "norm" and controversial, however open OR discreet the family may be within the home or to public view. BTW, being well-to-do will not buy anyone's way out of any problems such a circumstance will create for the child. I mention that only because you brought up your MIL's standing in your post. I've had more than one experience with WEALTHY families' children going to hell over one or another "family secret." Being "above" the "unwashed masses" made no contribution whatsoever to their also being beyond the reach of the damage such secrets caused.

[Loveboat]

I want to say thank you for your comment ( Whaywardj). You are the only one to actually give an intelligent response to all I have said. Our relationship has been going on for several years. We are not in a trial lust stage. We are beyond that now. Should we keep this a family secret from any future children? I think do to our present situation children and parenting will not occur for us. Will that satisfy the hungry masses that want us removed from the Earth? I was hoping my thread would reach out to others with similar situations like ours. Again thanks for your time in responding.

[whaywardj]

You're welcome. Just my opinion. BTW, I said "tri-lust," as in three lusts, or loves if you wish. Your post suggests things are well beyond a "trial" or "try out" stage. And, actually, I have been in your situation. It was quite wonderful while it lasted. There were no children or any prospect of children in the picture, though. Had there been, I wouldn't have continued with the menage a trois. Kids have a difficult enough time getting along in and through the trials of being in a plain vanilla, run-of-the-mill family environment. Anything out of the norm just makes things that much more difficult for them. IMHO. Secrets are awful things in families. They tend to make things fester. I wouldn't keep anything a secret. I wouldn't go out of my way to bring up anything delicate, either. I WOULD make it a point of NOT indulging in any unorthodox behavior until the children are well beyond their formative years, and mature enough to acknowledge and accept who the three of you are to each other without having to tear themselves up over figuring out -- or explaining to others -- the whys and wherefores of it all. FWIW.

[Loveboat]

My MIL has a male friend who recently is showing interest in dating her. It is not anything to worry about concerning her. But he seems too interested in my MIL to stop seeing her. Somehow I am a little jealous and trust her judgment in handling this matter. She said that she likes his company and his cultural influence in the arts which they both have an interest. Do you think I should worry since our threesome relationship is still solid.

[whaywardj]

If you're going to push the envelope of commonly accepted propriety by engaging in a manage a trois with your MIL and your wife, why should you be at all concerned or jealous that your MIL might wish to add a new wrinkle to it? Sounds to me as if you have something dark at work there. Say, possessiveness? Or fear of loss of a status quo you've come to enjoy and expect will remain unchanged? Perhaps, this stranger is a harbinger of the arrangement between the three of you ending. More mystically, perhaps his arrival on the scene is an in-advance effort on the part of the, as yet, unborn child you spoke of to 'arrange house', as it were, more to his liking. (Your wife wouldn't be pregnant, yet, would she?)

[bluesummer]

My MIL has a male friend who recently is showing interest in dating her. It is not anything to worry about concerning her. But he seems too interested in my MIL to stop seeing her. Somehow I am a little jealous and trust her judgment in handling this matter. She said that she likes his company and his cultural influence in the arts which they both have an interest. Do you think I should worry since our threesome relationship is still solid.

Why should you be worried about this? You are not married to your MIL, and she has every right to pursue her own individual relationship seperate from all of you as she sees fit. There should be no jealousy involved here if you are really as psychologically grounded as you claim to be. Please remember you have a wife, and she should be your foremost concern and priority.

[shh!]

Aww, c'mon! Will this thread NEVER die???

[Loveboat]

No this thread will never die. As long as there are those who want to read it. Possibly there is a need for help with this relationship. Possibly I am jealous but I believe there is nothing to worry about since our love is solid and stable. Yes my MIL is free to date and free to explore, as long as when she comes home we are together again. This continues to be.

[whaywardj]

The more you talk, Loveboat, the less sure I am things are as "solid" as you might believe...or want to.

[shh!]

I think he is having a delusional experience. I can buy one person being this screwed up, but three? What are the odds?

[bluesummer]

Yes my MIL is free to date and free to explore, as long as when she comes home we are together again. .

Hm, I find that a bit hypocritical. "She's free to date as long as she comes home to me....."

And what if it comes to a point that she checks out of your threesome?

Then what?