And I love her?

[betheone]

Hi, I'm currently in a dilemma regarding my colleague. I believe this is sometimes natural between co-workers so I'd like to keep the story short (as much as possible). Yes, I'm single right now and turning 20 next month.

She's technically my boss (higher pay grade) but our teams are different, though somewhat connected. I started liking her during our company's anniversary party – the typical “she caught my attention, talked a few times, exchanged some text messages, etc.” scenario.

The communication stopped for a while then we just bumped into each other again during lunch breaks. Our company building has a pool and people sometimes smoke there, we've been seeing each other for a few weeks just to smoke and talk there. Topics were random, sometimes serious, sometimes not. Then that stopped again, for some strange reason. Perhaps we were just busy or got tired with each other. This was the same time when rumors started to spread that she already has a boyfriend.

I sometimes see her in the parking lot w/ her “rumored” BF (not a co-worker). That time, I've decided to put my attention to other things and got friends w/ other ladies as well. I can feel/I know she has a “thing” for me because of the way she looks at me and acts whenever I'm around or nearby (you know, sometimes too OA, or cute, or whatever). Though at the back of my head she could be just a really friendly lady and I've been thinking too much or giving too much meaning to these things.

Now some facts: she's quite out of my league, I'm a typical “safe guy” who dates “average” girls. Our company is quite multicultural though romantic relationships between co-workers, especially w/ a foreigner like me, are sometimes looked upon. Whatever it is that “we have” right now, I don't want to break that. But I'd also like to bring it to the next level.

I tried inviting her to a quick coffee break and such, but she'd just reject it by “making excuses” that she didn't receive my message/read it late or her phone was low batt. etc. like I don't exist. But whenever I see her in the building she would usually give a great smile and be the first one to say hello.

Now, we got back in touch again. But my feelings for her are still present. I know I should just decide on my own. But then again this thing is totally new to me, and haven't experienced it with past relationships. Seriously, I really don't know what to do with this girl any more. But dang, she's really hot. Sorry, can't post pics and pardon for the grammatical errors.

TIA