Weird Facebook Status Update, and how soon is "too soon" to move on?

[love&otherdrugs]

Ok, so if you go back and read my last thread (http://www.loveforum.net/threads/75590-Ex-Broke-Up-with-me-before-the-Holidays-to-Move-to-Colorado...-in-March.), you'd find that my ex broke up with me over the phone because he wants his independence and wants to move to Colorado... in March. Being that we both care about each other and had a year-long history together, we tried to do the "friends" thing, but it hurt me too much to sit there and talk with him, knowing I couldn't be with him, so we decided to begin "No contact" until we both felt we were ready to begin a mutually-platonic friendship.

My ex broke up with me about a month ago. We stopped all contact 2 weeks ago. I noticed between then and now that he was slowly starting to remove me from apps like Instagram and Twitter (I figured it pained him to see my tweets and new pics, who knows). He had deleted his Facebook when we broke up, but texted me at the beginning of our "no contact" phase to tell me he got back on to Facebook for some "Denver networking" and that he "wish it were easier" between us. I went online and immediately blocked his FB profile so I wouldn't see or be reminded of him. He later mentioned this to our mutual friend when he gave her the rest of my stuff back this past weekend.

Well, being that I am having a tough time distracting myself from him, and being that everyone, including my therapist, says I need to focus on me and find a way to let go and move on, I decided to hop on a dating website and create an account seeking "just friends" and "dating but nothing serious". I made it clear that I was just looking to go out and meet new people and hang out, then go from there. This was possibly a not-so-good idea, because my ex and I actually met off this same website.

OK, TO THE POINT:

I caved from my will-power and snooped this evening to see how my ex was doing. 19 mins before I had gone on his FB profile, he had posted a status update that read "I know who u really are"

Um, what? Of course my guilt kicked in over the dating website account, and I immediately assumed that this status must have been directed toward me (because come on, my ex was not normally one to post emotional crap like this, and who else could he have been speaking of?). BUT, he thinks I can't see his FB profile since I blocked it, so...?

So this leads me to two questions: is it possible my ex was speaking about me and figured I would find out somehow?

And also, the more important question: How soon is too soon to start talking to other men and moving on? I haven't gone on any dates (I constantly make excuses as I am just obviously emotionally not ready, yet), but I have begun to talk to some men, and even added about 13 on FB to verify their identity. I feel guilty that he or one of his coworkers that I'm still "friends" with online may have seen these recently-added men, and that he might be upset with me. But, this doesn't make sense, because he said to me in our last conversation that I am "free to do whatever I want, I'm single." I asked him if this meant that he wouldn't mind if I were to go on a date other men or start talking to other men, and he answered, "no, not at all. You're free to do as you please. If that's your perrogative, go for it. Do what makes you happy."

Was he bluffing? Could he be bothered by my speaking with other men? He broke up with his ex in a similar fashion as he did with me, and he did mention that he was annoyed she started dating another guy 2 weeks after they had split. Maybe he's upset with me for sort of doing the same?

Opinions and advice would be great! Thank you :-)

[basilandthyme]

Love&otherdrugs, he's your ex. Why do you care what he thinks?

As far as moving on goes, do it when you're ready. Do it tonight or do it in a year. Do what makes you happy.

[love&otherdrugs]

Love&otherdrugs, he's your ex. Why do you care what he thinks?

As far as moving on goes, do it when you're ready. Do it tonight or do it in a year. Do what makes you happy.

I know I shouldn't care :-/ I'm guilty of having too much nostalgia and being stuck over the idea that I want him to miss me and remember me as "the one that got away" Is that selfish? I suppose it's terrible, put so many times I want him to just look back in the future and think, "Damn, what was I thinking letting her go?" and I'm worried I may have jeopardized that by trying to distract myself too soon with other male company.

[basilandthyme]

What if you met Mr Right tomorrow night but passed him up because you were trying to make Mr Wrong think fondly of you?

I was separated from my first hubby for only two months when I met my second husband. Yes, I should have taken a respectable amount of time to navel gaze ....and I'm sure that the ex wasn't impressed at me moving on so quickly. But had I waited, I would have missed out on the best thing which ever happened to me.

And for what it's worth, my second husband had accepted a contract to work overseas prior to meeting me. But he was so keen to make us work that he cancelled his contract and found a local job.

Look to the future. Don't waste time on dwelling on something which wasn't meant to be.

[Boisdevie]

Jeez. He's your ex so who cares. The fact that you're bothered about this is not good at all.

[love&otherdrugs]

What if you met Mr Right tomorrow night but passed him up because you were trying to make Mr Wrong think fondly of you?

I was separated from my first hubby for only two months when I met my second husband. Yes, I should have taken a respectable amount of time to navel gaze ....and I'm sure that the ex wasn't impressed at me moving on so quickly. But had I waited, I would have missed out on the best thing which ever happened to me.

And for what it's worth, my second husband had accepted a contract to work overseas prior to meeting me. But he was so keen to make us work that he cancelled his contract and found a local job.

Look to the future. Don't waste time on dwelling on something which wasn't meant to be.

That's a good way of looking at it. Thank you for your advice. I'll try to remind myself that when I get bothered by it all.

[love&otherdrugs]

Jeez. He's your ex so who cares. The fact that you're bothered about this is not good at all.

I think it's because I'm still in the position where I'm trying to accept that he's my ex. After a year-long wonderful relationship (up to the weekend before we broke up), it was a complete shock to have gone our separate ways. There's a HUGE part of me that still does not want him to be my ex, but instead my companion and significant other again.

My biggest psychological problem with ANYTHING in life is that I have this desire to "fix" things. When someone is sad or down, I want to do what I can to help them, to fix their distraught and make life better. In this instance, I suppose I want to "fix" his possible bad opinion of me; I don't want him to think poorly of me when I was so good to him for over a year. I know that's pathetic, it's something I've been struggling with my whole life, that not everyone is going to accept me or like who I am.

I guess I'm just still at the point where I care what he thinks, and I value his opinion as if he were still my other half.

[smackie9]

Just drop it.....please for your own sanity.

[smackie9]

Hey you might be a good match for Hukamike. He's on here once in awhile.

[love&otherdrugs]

Just drop it.....please for your own sanity.

I'm going to try to :-) I'm getting dressed up and going out with my roommates to get my mind off things. I finally made an epiphany that no matter if he was talking about me or not, I am who I am, and if who I "really" am bothers him, then screw him.

I'm single, I can talk to who I want, do what I want, and should not have to feel guilty about it. HE's the one that caused me to be single, so HE pretty much brought this on himself. The only one he can truly be upset with for my trying to move on is himself.

[HeartIsAching]

Just drop it.....please for your own sanity.

Too late...

[love&otherdrugs]

Too late...

Look, I'm just looking for advice. There's no need to be mean :-/