When is marriage right?

[vashti]

I think at least 2 years, combined with the desire to start a family. I am unconvinced there is much merit to being married in the absence of having children.

[HeartIsAching]

I think at least 2 years, combined with the desire to start a family. I am unconvinced there is much merit to being married in the absence of having children.

I disagree. My wife and I only legally formalized our relationship so that in case of emergency we could make medical decisions for each other - and it's a good thing we did.

[vashti]

I disagree. My wife and I only legally formalized our relationship so that in case of emergency we could make medical decisions for each other - and it's a good thing we did.

You can do that without being married, but I understand your point.

[sicilian1645]

there is no fixed time !

[michelle23]

Id say look up the 9 stages of a relationship and when you are sure you are in stage 9-it is time to get married.. Normally after being with someone for 4-6 years, you should no 100% that you want to spend the rest of your life with this person, that they are the best for you and you have no doubts. Also you should no for sure that you are not thinking "is the grass greener somewhere else" and be sure that your partner is not thinking that way either.

You should have discussed your future together like marriage/kids, there should be no problems, no resentment, no anger etc. You should no for sure that you both agree that cheating is wrong and that neither of you will give up on your marriage without a fight.. you should also discuss any future problems that you could run into-financial, death of a loved one, or any other big events in your life that could threaten your relationship. You should both agree that these situations will make you stronger and you will be a team and work through it together.

You should discuss how you are going to deal with any problems-marriage counselling etc.. you should also discuss emotional affairs and how they start and be sure that you will both avoid ever hurting each other this way.

You should also be sure that your partner has high self esteem, confident that they made the right choice in marrying you and also make sure they do not have any underlying insecurity issues. You need to be sure that they have a lot of inner strength and emotional maturity and they are not going to fall apart during the bad times.

You need to be sure there are no addictions that could affect your relationship and that you both agree on important decisions like childcare, work, etc.

Also you need to be sure that you are both going to make an effort to keep your love strong. Discuss romance, spending quality time together, sex, affection and intimacy etc. Also make sure you both have the same work schedule to ensure its possible to spend plenty of quality time together.

You should also promise each other that you are both going to work hard to make the other happy, you will confide in each other and communicate effectively if things are going wrong..

[michelle23]

Also look up "signs of a healthy relationship" and be sure that your relationship is healthy.

And I will also add that you should have a good support system like family/friends that you can turn too if times get tough..

Dont marry someone who is selfish or who always puts themselves first. Dont marry someone who is insecure and dont marry someone who wants to be the big I am while you stay at home twiddling your thumbs waiting patiently..

Dont become dependant on someone-financially or otherwise as they will walk all over you and make sure you always have "a get out of jail free card" if this person ever hurts you..

There is nothing worse than feeling like a caged animal who cant get away from someone who has broken there heart so make sure you have a way out if you ever really need one. It is healthy to have your own career, family and friends..

[FromDivorcedFam]

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[MissB]

Well my husband and I dated four months before we got engaded. We were together 2 years and 2 months before we got married. So it really varies from couple to couple.

[kotono]

More than a year, if it feels right. But you also really want to both be over 25. Who you are now can be different as you grow older, but between 25-30 people have a good sense of figuring out what they want.

Studies also show that women don't fully develop their brains until 25 while men don't until age 30. You don't wanna marry someone with an underdeveloped brain, right? Just a funny thought.

If you are both around 27 and have been living together for over a year, I think its right to want to take the next step.

[john101]

Yeah, I am totally agree with you. According to me when you settel perfectly and want to be his own family then you should marriage. But if you want to ask me a age then i go for 27 to 29. Becayse this time you fully mentaly prepare for this.