I'm a boring partner and I don't want to be!

[vashti]

No he is a friend of mine...he has a controlling GF in every aspect of their relationship.

Eh, if that's true, then he must enjoy letting someone else take the responsibility. No one does anything for no reason at all.

[smackie9]

Ya he is really laid back and in a lazy way, and hates confrontation. A real sweet and funny guy. Everyone wonders why they are together.

[Guybrush]

I'm an otherwise good girlfriend - faithful to the core, always supportive, sexual, thoughtful and liberal. Whenever he suggests a mutual activity, I always participate and we have fun together. I'm the only one that can give the time of day to his whacky interests and ideas.

Kathy, you are a gem. Based on this and your later posts, it saddens me to see how little your boyfriend appreciates you.

As for "interesting", how do you define that, really?? And whose privilege is it to make the definitions? Did he invent "interesting"? It almost sounds like he invests in the notion of being interesting out of concern for his own appearance.

Stuff you choose to do either together or on your own is one thing. More important when determining whether you are boy/girlfriend material are your qualities as a person. Based on your posts, you have those that are important. He doesn't.

If he uses his being "interesting" to look down on you, he is an arrogant prick that does not deserve you.

[rayna]

Honey, a life partner should not be someone that makes you lose confidence or feel bad about yourself. Your story sounds a bit familiar. About a year ago, I was with a guy I considered my best friend and more. Things were great in the beginning. he was there for me at a low in my life and my crush for him eventually grew into much stronger feelings. Even tho he was the one to be interested in me first and chase after me in the beginning, the more time we spent together the more he took me for granted. I didn't realize but I was "dying" from within bc my happiness became dependent on him. He had control over me and he was emotionally/verbally abusive. The best thing that happened to me was when he got mad at me for talking to a guy friend and ended things with me. I was miserable and sad for a couple weeks but once I got over that... I re-found myself and got my confidence and self-esteem back too. I hope you find the strength to walk away from a relationship that eats away at who you are.

Btw we are the same age... I don't believe soulmates (if they exist) are that easy to find. I think it takes a little more time.

[IndiReloaded]

Kathy, you are a gem. Based on this and your later posts, it saddens me to see how little your boyfriend appreciates you.
If he uses his being "interesting" to look down on you, he is an arrogant prick that does not deserve you.

Honey, a life partner should not be someone that makes you lose confidence or feel bad about yourself.

Kathy - These posters make really good points. Re-read what they have to say and believe it.

@ Rayna - good job kicking that guy to the curb. Hope you stick around the forum and share your wisdom with others. Welcome.

@ Guybrush - I would have thanked your post if I could.

[Kathy]

Kathy, you are a gem. Based on this and your later posts, it saddens me to see how little your boyfriend appreciates you.

As for "interesting", how do you define that, really?? And whose privilege is it to make the definitions? Did he invent "interesting"? It almost sounds like he invests in the notion of being interesting out of concern for his own appearance.

Stuff you choose to do either together or on your own is one thing. More important when determining whether you are boy/girlfriend material are your qualities as a person. Based on your posts, you have those that are important. He doesn't.

If he uses his being "interesting" to look down on you, he is an arrogant prick that does not deserve you.

I really needed to hear those words, thank you! Yes, I feel unappreciated and if we both fail to resolve things between us as proper adults, leaving would be best for both of us.

Honey, a life partner should not be someone that makes you lose confidence or feel bad about yourself. Your story sounds a bit familiar. About a year ago, I was with a guy I considered my best friend and more. Things were great in the beginning. he was there for me at a low in my life and my crush for him eventually grew into much stronger feelings. Even tho he was the one to be interested in me first and chase after me in the beginning, the more time we spent together the more he took me for granted. I didn't realize but I was "dying" from within bc my happiness became dependent on him. He had control over me and he was emotionally/verbally abusive. The best thing that happened to me was when he got mad at me for talking to a guy friend and ended things with me. I was miserable and sad for a couple weeks but once I got over that... I re-found myself and got my confidence and self-esteem back too. I hope you find the strength to walk away from a relationship that eats away at who you are.

Btw we are the same age... I don't believe soulmates (if they exist) are that easy to find. I think it takes a little more time.

You are right and I'm happy that you got away from this guy! I have no problem with leaving relationships once I am sure I've tried everything...guess I feel like I still need to do some growing up before I can evaluate everything...but your advices really gave me a boost Thanks!

Kathy - These posters make really good points. Re-read what they have to say and believe it.

@ Rayna - good job kicking that guy to the curb. Hope you stick around the forum and share your wisdom with others. Welcome.

@ Guybrush - I would have thanked your post if I could.

Yes, you're right and I'm going to write them down and read them every once in a while. And thanks to you too!


You guys are awesome

[EvanHadkins]

If he thinks it's your job to entertain him and make his life interesting I think you need to have a serious talk to him.

If you think you need to entertain him and keep him interested I think you need to have a serious talk with yourself. Can you imagine being your own parent and complimenting you? What happens if you imagine saying to yourself the kind of complimentary things you say (or want to say) to him?

I don't think it is fair or will work for you to take the responsbility for the whole relationship. He needs to do his part too.

[Guybrush]

I really needed to hear those words, thank you!

Glad you found this useful! BTW, no need to write it down. Just come back here if you need a reminder

In fact, I am sure that we all want to hear how things are going, so please keep us posted!

[Fruitsss]

yeah i shore think u may have low self esteem.
cause once he tld u its getting boring u did everything to interntain him.
thats sad. things should go at a certain point naturally.

so the word boring can only be a moment. Not a relationship.
cause if he is talking about the relationship its cause u r no match for him.
and otherwise.

dont go in relationships to get high self esteem.
be single work on your self .
cause people with low self esteem often get use and abuse in relationships.

[Fruitsss]

On the other hand he can be also the problem why u cant get more self esteem.
Or the reason u r insecure.

cause of the way i see he react. and u having already some insecure issues gets more of it with his reaction.
i think he is not the dude for u. u need someone that
accepts u the way u r. and that challenge u in a natural way to do better where u r not that good.

[IndiReloaded]

Even the most secure person can be made insecure with the wrong person and the wrong conditions. Sounds like this guy eats other ppls self-esteem to feed his own. That's nasty.

[Fruitsss]

Even the most secure person can be made insecure with the wrong person and the wrong conditions. Sounds like this guy eats other ppls self-esteem to feed his own. That's nasty.

im so agree with u that dude is a ashole

[HeartIsAching]

Even the most secure person can be made insecure with the wrong person and the wrong conditions. Sounds like this guy eats other ppls self-esteem to feed his own. That's nasty.

That's actually a hallmark of insecurity. They make themselves feel better by belittling someone who intimidates them. My wife's ex did that to her for 20+ years. The woman is absolutely brilliant and felt she was stupid for years. We're slowly getting her out of that - her grades in school are helping.

[CoolStoryBro]

That's actually a hallmark of insecurity. They make themselves feel better by belittling someone who intimidates them. My wife's ex did that to her for 20+ years. The woman is absolutely brilliant and felt she was stupid for years. We're slowly getting her out of that - her grades in school are helping.

Me, me, me, me ,me, beautiful wife, me, me, me, me, etc etc.

[HeartIsAching]

Me, me, me, me ,me, beautiful wife, me, me, me, me, etc etc.

Me? No - just illustration.