After 3 weeks of "No Contact", my ex emailed me today... Advice?

[geminimoongal]

You sound so mature. I am sure you will get over this very soon. I cannot imagine the heartbreak to be told someone doesn't love you anymore ,it is cruel. You sound strong. Listen to yourself and do whats best for you.

[smackie9]

You're right. Later that afternoon I responded with this:

Hey J***,

I appreciate your wishing me a happy birthday, however, receiving messages from you is still a painful reminder of the ending of our relationship.

I'd appreciate it if you would please not contact me any further unless it is for reconciliation purposes.

Best Regards,

S***

It's weird, I sent the email and started tearing up. I wasn't sad... in a way I was relieved, because after I sent that email came a sense of conclusion and peace. It was overwhelming and reassuring at the same time to know I had finally closed that door of subconsciously waiting for him to contact me on the next holiday. He didn't respond, but I'm actually OK with that. I said what I needed to, and made myself boundaries so that I can heal.

It was a meaningless email from him, but I'm not going to let myself be bombarded with meaningless reminders because he feels obligated or is trying to be nice.

Best thing you could ever do..... I doubt your message was meaningless to him, he was fishing to see how you were doing and now he knows. You hit a home run, good for you, now you can finally get past this and be happy again.

[love&otherdrugs]

Best thing you could ever do..... I doubt your message was meaningless to him, he was fishing to see how you were doing and now he knows. You hit a home run, good for you, now you can finally get past this and be happy again.

Thank you so much. It really does mean a lot to me to get feedback from each and every one of you. Especially users, like you, who have talked with me and given me advice from day one. I have gone back and read some of my first posts on this website, and you're right in that I have hit a home run... I have come SO far from the beginning.

Thank you for your kind words of encouragement :-)

[jolene austin]

Great way to quote Calvin, Cerby! I completely agree, I don’t think you should respond. I don’t read any sort of sign that indicates he wants to reconnect. It sound like he sent a polite message. For the benefit of your split and your desire to eventually reconnect down the line, don’t jeopardize things by seeming so quick and desperate to respond. This could lead him to string you along as much as possible. You already made a mistake by knowing that he has added more girls to his networking site. I know the split could be heartbreaking but things won’t go back to normal with an email. Or even after a date or two. Your breakup happened for deeper reasons. That stuff needs to get worked out first. Take the email as a kind gesture. If you feel obliged send him something weeks later, simply saying thank you and that you hope his visit has gone well.