Need Advice! What should I do?

[Eldorado]

I have come here for advice because I don't have anywhere else to go. So here's the story (I apologize for the length and possible confusion). My girlfriend and I have been dating for 3 years now and living together for 1 1/2 now. I am turning 22 and she is 24 and this is my first long term relationship. We met when we were both in college and everything was going great. During the beginning of the relationship we were going out on dates a lot and going to quite a few parties (as college kids do) and having sex every night.

Then about a year in she asked if we could slow down on the sex because she said it was too much for her. And no I don't believe it is because I am bad at it. She has told me I am one of the only guys that was able to make her climax (I suppose she could be lying though). Anyways, I wanted to respect her so I agreed and we started only having sex about 3 times a week. We continued on with the relationship and she began staying at my place almost every night. Because of this she asked me if I wanted to move in with her (this is about a year and a half in). At first I was apprehensive because this is my first serious relationship and I didn't know if it was too soon. She kept arguing that since she stays over so much we might as well move in together. I ended up agreeing not knowing if it was the right choice.

We then began to argue when I wanted to go out with the guys. She would get angry and either ask to join or call and text me constantly trying to make me feel guilty as hell (it usually worked and ruined my nights). And when I did agree to let her join all she would do is bitch about what we were doing (drinking beer, video games, watching football, etc). We fought over this quite a bit and she said she always wanted to be with me because she was really depressed. My friends told me she was being clingy but she convinced me it was because of her depression. At first I thought she was depressed because of me and something I may have done be she assured me it was just because of her family (divorced parents and neither is very supportive of her). She started seeing a doctor and the doctor prescribed her anti depressants and sent her on her way. I don't like her taking these drugs because my dad has had to take them almost the whole time I've known him (thats a whole other story) and when he took them he was a different person. I have talked to her about this but she assures me its ok and it is the only way she will get rid of her depression. The drugs helped and after a few more fights she began letting me go out alone every so often.

Around this time in the relationship (about 2 years in) the sex began to slow down. I would try to initiate it but she would shut me down. She would say she is not in the mood or she is too tired. The sex dwindled to once a week. I then stopped attempting to initiate it because it was not helping my self esteem. The sex then dwindled to once every two weeks. Around this time I started becoming depressed. It is now three years into the relationship and the sex has dwindled to once a month if I am lucky (right now I believe it has been almost 2 months). We have had arguments in the matter and she claims that I do not initiate it anymore and I have told her it is because I used to and all she would do is shut me down. I have asked her to initiate it when she is in the mood but she claims she is tired of being the one initiating it (which confuses me because I don't remember after the 1st year her initiating it at all). So over the last year I have been progressively becoming more depressed. Also my sex drive has slowed down (or been forced to slow down). To be honest I don't remember the last time I was happy or excited about something.

The other problem we have in the relationship is money. I make more of it and like to save, and she makes less of it and likes to shop. She will get her pay check and on the same day go out shopping and within a week have no money and be asking me every second day for money until her next pay day. At first I didn't mind but its been going on for too long.

Also to add another problem to the list I am the only one that cleans up the place and when I ask her to help she tells me not to be so OCD and clean up later.

I am almost always miserable now and we have started fighting about a lot of stupid thing. I now know something has to change but I don't know if/how I should break up with her or if I can fix it somehow. If you have any advice it would be much appreciated. Also if you have any questions feel free to ask. Thanks.

[Boisdevie]

It really is simple. Talk to her. Tell her what aspects of the relationship are not working for you. Then see what happens. Things will either change or they won't. If they don't change to your satisfaction then end the relationship. There is no reason to stay in a crap relationship.