My parents want me to stay in my sexless relationship, help!

[strawberrie]

Never sacrifice your own happiness for everybody else. F uck that shit.

Yes, I am starting to realise this... life is too short.... I have to be true to myself....

Don't go dating someone so old. You want kids and stuff, find someone younger or closer to your own age. Stop looking at a man to support you. You are 30 years old, you should be having your own career and financial security.

Yeh I have my own career, I can support myself if I want to. My new boyfriend is 36... I guess 6 year age gap seems small because my parents age gap is 30 years! Crazy I know! I do feel like I've lost track of who I am whilst in my relationship with my ex boyfriend... he didnt like any of the music I listened to, or the films I liked, or the hairstyles or clothes I wanted. I know that I'm making him sound like a real b*stard and he's not, its just that he doesn't even realise how controlling he is/was. The controlling is done in a passive agressive way, subtle but contually making me feel bad or guilty for the smallest things. Even now as I type this he is in the room stomping his foot and huffing and puffing angrily at me demanding to know why I've been on my laptop for so long (even though he's just been watching TV all day.) Its like, constant tension with him. If I don't talk to him for a few minutes he gets annoyed with me and says "why are you not talking to me?" Even though he wasn't talking to me either. Doesn't make any sense!

[smackie9]

It's control, and heaven forbid if you ever had a life of your own. Girl you need to express yourself and not say things to appease him and your parents. Like I said, only look out for your own happiness and not there's. The reality of it is if you don't say anything to them now how you feel about their comments, etc they will never know. If you want to see change you have to take risks to get yourself out of these bad habits. Don't worry about the repercussions..this is now about you and your life.

[Fruitsss]

Maybe u did not understand me well.
All im saying about that imature thing is that u r a adult but u still talking about your parents
and what they want.

But u are grown and i did not see anything that tells me that your parents keeps u in the basement with him locked up
with a knife on your neck.
All u said was everybody likes him and thinks u guys are perfect together. But its not from the inside.

So its u that feel a pressure that is not there or that u think u need to life by it , to stay with him.
Its not your parents doing anything.
Its that u did not have that break true jet that people often have in their puberty first.

And about the sex part. that is how you came across. Cause all your complains where about sex.
While that is just 30 minutes of a day.
And communication is not just talk. But its more then that.
When its good, u will have results at the end.
Rather its what u wanted or not.

So just talk talk talk endless is not communication.
And if u r not happy right now already why do u keep forcing it.
U r no baby so u can choose for yourself or wait for your family too bring you too the poo. :S:S

[smackie9]

If that is the case then there is no compatibility sexually, and with out sex there can't be enough emotional connection to sustain the relationship...you may as well be roommates.

[AdminOnline]

isn't it time for you to settle down & get married?

30yr old for a girl is kind of late now..

get married and start a family if your financial is stable.

[Mish]

I told him I wanted us to seperate and to give each other time and space to figure out what we wanted. Due to financial reasons, I could not move out so I moved into the spare room. ...Meanwhile, I began seeing the male colleague who had been flirting with me for months. ... But a few days before I was due to move out, I skidded on ice and had car crash (no other cars involved luckily) and while I was unharmed, I sadly had a miscarriage at 11 weeks pregnant. At the time, due to a combination of hormones, extreme emotions, confusion, exhaustion and parental pressure, my ex boyfriend convinced me to come back to him and give things another try, he promised that things would change. It's been three weeks since the miscarriage and I'm now in limbo. ... There's been no intimacy or affection between us, we are just like housemates. Meanwhile I've been thinking of my lover and missing him as he's been away looking after a farm for the last two weeks. I managed to visit him twice and we shared some beautiful moments togethor. ... Do I choose my ex, who appears to everyone else to be 'Prince Charming', nice house, nice car, good salary, well spoken, tall, handsome, socially confident, with many good points but essentially stubborn, argumentative,overweight, passionless and sexually unresponsive. But hey it would keep everyone else happy.... OR do I choose my new lover

I made a summary of events to make them easier to read. To me it sounds like the following happened:

1. You were unhappy with your less than intimate relationship and decided to take a break from it (while continuing on living in the same place as your ex and using shared resources)
2. While on this incomplete separation you started seeing another man (sounds to me somewhere between dishonesty to your ex partner in the best case or cheating)
3. Due to lots of pressure from family you decided to come back to your ex and abandon the other man (again somewhere between dishonesty or cheating to your other man)
4. While being back together with your ex you started to cheat on him and see the other man

I think that you have a funny perception of loyalty and due to various betrayals of trust both of your relationships are now tainted. I therefore recommend to leave both men and be by yourself for awhile. This is the best way forward for everyone.

[searock]

isn't it time for you to settle down & get married?

30yr old for a girl is kind of late now..

wtf?!!!!!!