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Thread: Should I Say Something?

  1. #31
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    I told him recently that I felt he was choosing her friendship over our relationship and that I needed more than that. Well, it started off very rough, but he looked me in the eyes and said (roughly. This is as close to word-for-word as I can get) "You're the one I want to marry. The only reason I hang out with her is because we share common interests, is available when you aren't, and she lives close. I could never be in a relationship with someone so selfish and idiotic. She's just friend material. I won't stop seeing my friends, but I will try to be better and give you more of my time and affection. I love you and I want you to be the one I wake up to every day- no one else."

    So... I think ti's fair to give him a chance to show me he really means this. If he fails again, he's gone... no matter how much it might hurt to leave.

  2. #32
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    Does he go out and do things with her that you won't go with him to do? Does he go out with her and do things when you're available to go, if you will?

  3. #33
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    So, what is your criteria though? What does 'show he really means this', mean?

    The fact he shit-talks his friend is a bad sign, btw. He spends so much time with her, using her, apparently, only b/c she is available when you aren't. But he calls her selfish and idiotic? He sounds increasingly like an asshole.

    Doesn't this guy leave a bad taste in your mouth? Seems to me he's neither a good BF or a good friend. I'd break up with him just for insulting his supposed friend that way. He doesn't respect her. He uses her but doesn't really like her. Imagine what he says about you, or will?
    Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
    --Cyteen by C.J.Cherryh

  4. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by eksink View Post
    I told him recently that I felt he was choosing her friendship over our relationship and that I needed more than that. Well, it started off very rough, but he looked me in the eyes and said (roughly. This is as close to word-for-word as I can get) "You're the one I want to marry. The only reason I hang out with her is because we share common interests, is available when you aren't, and she lives close. I could never be in a relationship with someone so selfish and idiotic. She's just friend material. I won't stop seeing my friends, but I will try to be better and give you more of my time and affection. I love you and I want you to be the one I wake up to every day- no one else."

    So... I think ti's fair to give him a chance to show me he really means this. If he fails again, he's gone... no matter how much it might hurt to leave.
    Okay, so you've made a decision based on his dazzling you with his science. Now, I suggest that you leave this thread because it's forum nature to try and pursuade you to do something that people don't think you should do and there's no sense letting a seed of doubt grow at this point.
    You will learn whether or not he is sincere, just don't put your head in the sand if he continues to make her his priority.

    Good luck.. no matter which way it turns out.

  5. #35
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    Pay attention to what I posted about how he treats his friends. It's a sign of how he will treat you, too. Respect for others = respect for self. Come back and let us know how it goes. Good luck.
    Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
    --Cyteen by C.J.Cherryh

  6. #36
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    Remember actions speak louder than words.....

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