Woo-ing a girl who isn't outgoing.

[dantcg]

So there's this girl I've been talking to. I think it's fairly clear that we both like each other, BUT it's not at the stage where I feel comfortable asking her out yet. I'd prefer to get to a stage where she's actively engaging with me (in conversation and the likes) before I try advance further. You see, that's the crux of my problem. When we talk we're incredibly flirtatious and we enjoy talking to each other because our way of thinking, humour and just general interests are so similar and we always have a good time.

The thing is, I'm always the person starting these conversations - she's just not the sort of girl to do otherwise, she's never had a boyfriend before and all of her friends are either family friends or other girls - it seems that starting a conversation with a guy must feel unnatural to her. The girls I'm used to are different... another girl I like talking to is ALWAYS ringing me up or thinking of a reason to talk to me on Facebook and the same goes for other girls in the past who have liked me.

I'm not sure if I should ever expect it to get to that stage with this new girl as I've never really come across someone like this before. Some advice would be appreciated, and more than likely I've left way too much out of this post or given you nothing to work with in which case tell me! Thanks

[staticline]

If she's a quieter, more introverted person (as I am), perhaps she doesn't naturally assume your interest. It sounds like you've got plenty in common, so how about suggesting a casual meetup based on a mutual interest? For example, if you know her from school/college, you could suggest a study date. If you work together, suggest you both grab a coffee on your lunch break. This isn't such a huge gesture she'll be thinking of it as a date, but setting the time aside with her lets her know that you're interested in getting to know her better, and perhaps she'll be more responsive to your efforts from thereon out. Then I guess it's up to you to gauge your tone of conversation so that you're not coming off as so keen she feels nervous (as you say it is unnatural to her), but not so non-threatening that you're friend-zoned. Best way to avoid this would be to suggest a date as soon as you feel you're hitting it off, and avoid waiting too long for 'the right time'. Good luck. =)

[Fruitsss]

Stop trying too change or complain about people too fit in your own world.

If u dont like , leave her alone.
Cause if u r the kind of men for her, u will know how too deal with her in a natural way.

if u want too complain so much about how she is, its cause u r not the one for her. not even her kind of guy/

[basilandthyme]

Just ask her on a date.

[NatalieJaynexo]

The girl you are interested in sounds just like me when it comes to the opposite sex!

From my point of view; you will reach this stage with her that you're talking about but things will just take longer than normal and you'll need to put in a lot more effort. Girls like us often become shy or enclosed when it comes to males/relationships, especially if we're not used to the attention! We'll flirt but nine times out of then, we like the men to put in all the work. It's just how we are and we like to know we're making them right decision when agreeing to date someone... because quite big commitments come with it.

I'd just ask her out for a casual meet up - for me, that's less scary than an actual date! If this girl really likes you, I'm sure once that front barrier has been broken, things in your relationship will progress. But don't be too forward and in her face, play it cool and friend like!

I hope this helped!

Natalie xo

[rayna]

I tend to be the quieter one in my relationships too. Often I just enjoy listening to my guy talk...if we're compatible, it doesn't really matter what he's talking about.