My girlfriend made a porno with her ex that is all over the internet

[basilandthyme]

Whatshisface, your hypocracy is astounding!

If guys didn't look at internet porn then this young woman (and others like her) wouldn't be hurt by having videos loaded without their permission - there would be no market for it. And even if porn is loaded with a woman's permission, how can someone who consumes porn criticise those who make it?

Before you criticise her choices, I'd start by looking at yourself and the ways in which your behaviours hurt women like her in the first place.

[CoolStoryBro]

Yeah, right on B&T.

[Love'sReject]

CSB, don't kiss ass (no pun intended)

[Wakeup]

That ole double standard is a real bitch and its not going away anytime soon... no matter how many women get indignant about it.

[surfhb2]

How many hours did you spend to "accidently" find it?

I have my own girl bro, asshole fully intact.

Oh....now that's funny as hell

I'm predicting this thread to go into the 10-15 page realm

[whatshisface]

I'm just glad this wasn't 1 year into the relationship. You are all so upset at me for my attitude, I really don't care. You have to pose yourself the same question, and I'd like to hear the answers, of what you would all do personally if this was going on with your/girlfriend boyfriend (length of relationship aside). Obviously it's easy to walk away if it's short, but what if it was long term what would you do then? Maybe I am being judgmental, but would u all really just shake it off like it was no big deal??

[basilandthyme]

I'm just glad this wasn't 1 year into the relationship. You are all so upset at me for my attitude, I really don't care. You have to pose yourself the same question, and I'd like to hear the answers, of what you would all do personally if this was going on with your/girlfriend boyfriend (length of relationship aside). Obviously it's easy to walk away if it's short, but what if it was long term what would you do then? Maybe I am being judgmental, but would u all really just shake it off like it was no big deal??

What would I do personally? I wouldn't have been surfing for porn in the first place, so I wouldn't have found the videos and wouldn't be having this problem.

[whatshisface]

ok, well then suppose your friend told you, what would u do about it? If you don't want to answer it don't say anything. I'm a tool, right? I get it

[searock]

You do realize the HUGE double standard that society imposes to all of us (male and female)? If a man has anal sex with his girlfriend, she keeps the video and then posts it on the internet, nobody will think that he's a "slut" - if anything, they'll admire his virility and manhood. It wouldn't be humiliating for him at all. If a woman has anal sex with her boyfriend and he posts... well, you know the rest of it. So just stop trying to compare, it's simply not comparable.

[basilandthyme]

ok, well then suppose your friend told you, what would u do about it? If you don't want to answer it don't say anything. I'm a tool, right? I get it

If the videos were posted without her permission, I'd see her as a victim of crime and support her though it. It's really no different to supporting a woman who got date raped.

If they videos were posted by her, then I guess my attitude would vary: If I used porn, I'd start reflecting on the hypocracy which makes me upset by her making exactly the type of thing I enjoy looking at. If I didn't use porn, then I'd decide that our values are too different and break up.

[searock]

If the videos were posted without her permission, I'd see her as a victim of crime and support her though it. It's really no different to supporting a woman who got date raped.

This! Thank you!

[AdminOnline]

once the video is online, it is GG for her..

you either accept it or move on..

[Wakeup]

I agree that the double standard is an issue (but it's not going to change any time soon) but what I think people are not seeing here is that Op just doesn't want to be with a woman that would allow herself to be treated in such a manner. I think he's a smart man for getting out. They simply are not compatible sexually or morally and she lied to him. I understand why he's reluctant to not continue on with her and I would recommend to any women who posted about her new boyfriend being in a porn video and had lied about his sexual experience to dump him as a well.

Yes, Op likes to look at porn, he admits that's how he came across the video in question. Just because he likes to look at porn doesn't mean that he should or would want to stay with a girl that he is basically uncomfortable with as far as her self worth, sexuality and lack of truthfulness is concerned.

We all have deal breakers and what she did with a guy who only saw her in a hotel room (obviously done in a non-exclusive, casual dynamic with this man) then there are likely deeper issues that this young lady will need to work through if she was dumb enough to allow herself to be filmed while not in a committed, loving and monogamous union.

I'm thinking most men and women who wouldn't have casual sex in motel rooms and who agrees to it being taped while in a casul sexual dynamic would consider that man or woman relationship material if they've not been in that type of situation themselves. Its about compatibility.

[searock]

I think we all agree that the OP should break up with his girlfriend, they are blatantly incompatible.

[Wakeup]

If the videos were posted without her permission, I'd see her as a victim of crime and support her though it. It's really no different to supporting a woman who got date raped.

Sorry, but I think that You trivialize the horror that women who have been date raped go through by comparing a posting of a sexual act without permission to actually being forced to do the act without permission.

Both are incomprehensible but if ask a woman who as been raped what she'd prefer I'm sure it would not be the rape.