My girlfriend made a porno with her ex that is all over the internet

[bcgirl]

Paris Hilton's porn gave her career a huge boost. Maybe she wants in on the adult industry? There are big bucks in that

[searock]

Sorry, but I think that You trivialize the horror that women who have been date raped go through by comparing a posting of a sexual without permission to actually being forced to do the act without permission.

I don't think that she enjoyed the sex with him, not emotionally... she was 23 and should have known better, but the fact is that she didn't. She was inexperienced and naive, and that old pervert used it to his advantage. He used her, and she let him do it because she didn't know any better. I'm just saying that I think her feelings are somewhat comparable to what a rape victim feels. Less intense, but of the same kind. I bet she left those hotel rooms and cried on her way home. It must have been truly horrible.

She must have had some serious emotional issues if she let all that happen to her, at 23 years old, that's for sure.

OP, have you asked her why she lied to you?

[Wakeup]

I don't think that she enjoyed the sex with him, not emotionally... she was 23 and should have known better, but the fact is that she didn't. She was inexperienced and naive, and that old pervert used it to his advantage. He used her, and she let him do it because she didn't know any better. I'm just saying that I think her feelings are somewhat comparable to what a rape victim feels. Less intense, but of the same kind. I bet she left those hotel rooms and cried on her way home. It must have been truly horrible.

OP, have you asked her why she lied to you?

I'd agree with that if she only did it once but she came back for more. They didn't have a one-off. Most sane people stop whacking their head against the wall after the first time becuase it hurts.

She had some serious emotional issues if she let all that happen to her, at 23 years old, that's for sure.

Yes.. I agree there, sea.

[searock]

Yes, that's true... I don't think she was emotionally sane. She must have been really weak and vulnerable, otherwise she wouldn't have gone back.

If she still has those issues, she needs to work on them asap, together with the trauma that whole experience was (and is, now that she just found out those videos are all over the internet).

[Cerby]

This is a pretty divided issue. For what my opinion is worth, I agree with many of the posters here that she was young, stupid, and makes mistakes. I think that making personal videos with someone can be fun, but should be done in a relationship that has a little more trust. Again, chalk it up to young and dumb. The things you saw aren't that unusual either, even the most innocent people can be wild behind closed doors. The problem is that she lied to you about it...why? Maybe she was ashamed, maybe she didn't care, could be a lot of things.

I don't think you can live with it, and I don't think you should use her as that will make you just as much of an asshole as the guy in the videos. You should just end it, tell her that you don't think it will work, nothing more. Leave it at that.

[basilandthyme]

Sorry, but I think that You trivialize the horror that women who have been date raped go through by comparing a posting of a sexual act without permission to actually being forced to do the act without permission.

Both are incomprehensible but if ask a woman who as been raped what she'd prefer I'm sure it would not be the rape.

Perhaps it was a bad comparision. My point is that I would offer the same support to any woman who had been violated against her wishes.

[surfhb2]

I'd like to know how long ago this was?

Also we're assuming she was treated like garbage from the OPs assessment of the entire situation. I'd like to hear her opinion on the relationship. Also she and her former bf were together 6 months....far from a fling.

To me this is far from a deal breaker since her only mistake was lying about the past. She agreed to do videos with the guy....I really don't see the big deal in all this. Then again I'm an immoral bastard I guess

I mean c'mon....we've all done stupid shit

[Mish]

She didn't do anything wrong.....

Maybe it wasn't the type of sex she enjoyed and maybe the guy took advantage in that sense.....who knows and who cares? It's her decisions and hers to deal with

I agree with above^ I don't think she did anything wrong from the time you two started dating so I don't think she deserves to be punished.

I can understand that something like this can be difficult to accept, but punishing her at this stage will not make you any more of a man. Though, if you can't accept it, then let her go quickly so both of you can move on without wasting each other's time.

[Wakeup]

Also she and her former bf were together 6 months....far from a fling.

"Time" has nothing to do with whether or not it was a fling. They spent their time together in hotel rooms and never at his home (according to op). That is not far from a fb, imo. What else did they do in that 6 months that made it far or less than a fling? For all we know they saw each other during a 6 month period but during that time, it was only to **** and film.

I don't even think he should break up with her because of the filming but rather who she decided to be with a be filmed with. That is the red flag to me. I think she may have issues that go far deeper than allowing a non-committed abusive man to film him balls deep in her third eye blind.

Just 8 more pages to go, surf. lol

[CoolStoryBro]

Bitch probably loved it. Hilarious all the forum bra-burners saying she was used.

[surfhb2]

"Time" has nothing to do with whether or not it was a fling. They spent their time together in hotel rooms and never at his home (according to op). That is not far from a fb, imo. What else did they do in that 6 months that made it far or less than a fling? For all we know they saw each other during a 6 month period but during that time, it was only to **** and film.

I don't even think he should break up with her because of the filming but rather who she decided to be with a be filmed with. That is the red flag to me. I think she may have issues that go far deeper than allowing a non-committed abusive man to film him balls deep in her third eye blind.

Just 8 more pages to go, surf. lol

I must have missed the part where she only met him in hotels. Still....Id love to hear her opinion on what she was thinking... Also how long ago this was? Thats a huge factor IMO

It all comes down to opinions on the matter at this point. For me....Id blow it off and made sure she was emotionally OK after hearing her vagina was beamed all over the world. Im sure glad my friends and GFs never dumped me for my past.....Id have no one in my life if everybody was like this guy

[Wakeup]

Well we know that is was at least two years ago because op says the Upload Date on the videos was two years ago.

Im sure glad my friends and GFs never dumped me for my past.....Id have no one in my life if everybody was like this guy

Seems more women don't seem to hold the double standard as much as lots of men do. (Modonna/Whore complex perhaps???)

[KingZ]

I was in a similar situation when I was a lot younger and totally inexperienced

Go on...​​​​​​

[Indestructible]

Well, keep in mind, I have zero relationship experience, so my input probably isn't worth anything.

For one, I'd think about how she "lied" to you about her past. Isn't it maybe possible that those were just bad memories for her, things she'd rather not talk about and relive and have to think about again? If she really was unhappy and ashamed about what happened with that guy, it wouldn't really surprise me for her to not exactly be forthcoming with the explicit details about what she did with him.

That said, I... could understand wanting to break things off with her after seeing these videos. Before anyone crucifies me for saying that, let me back up for a second and say that I mostly say that because I've never done anything the least bit "kinky" or "wild" with anyone, so if I found out a girl I was dating did some pretty crazy stuff back in the day, I'd find that kinda scary. And it's not necessarily about holding her past against her; everyone has a "past", and plenty of people do regrettable things in their life, but sometimes the details are better left unknown. If I were dating a girl, and then I discovered explicit videos of her having wild sex with some other guy online, I would never be able to get that image out of my head, when with her. It's one thing for a girl to have a past, but it's another thing to actually see it right in front of your eyes, yanno?

But, whether or not you stay with her is really up to you, and it depends on how much you care about her. I think this is something that CAN be gotten over in time, if the two people really care about each other.

[KingZ]

You do realize the HUGE double standard that society imposes to all of us (male and female)? If a man has anal sex with his girlfriend, she keeps the video and then posts it on the internet, nobody will think that he's a "slut" - if anything, they'll admire his virility and manhood. It wouldn't be humiliating for him at all. If a woman has anal sex with her boyfriend and he posts... well, you know the rest of it. So just stop trying to compare, it's simply not comparable.

Key opens many locks? Master key.

Lock opened by many keys? Shitty lock.