First Relationship Help (Teenaged)

[theAmatuer]

I'm in desperate need of advice. This might be a long one, but if you take the time to read it and give your honest opinion, I will be greatly appreciative.

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Let's see, where to start? I'm a teenaged guy, soon to turn 16 years old. I have no experience in romantic relationships whatsoever - I've never dated, nor have I ever even kissed a girl. I've been in love once before, but this most recent example (which I will be explaining) has been the most serious by far. You see, I went to middle school with this girl who I'll refer to as Susie. I didn't know Susie very well, but we were sort of friends. I always kind of thought Susie had a bit of a crush on me, but was never sure. At the time, I was completely focused on another girl named Virginia (I'm not bothering to give her a fake name), so I didn't really bother caring. Then, after Middle School was over, and I started drifting from Virginia, and I was falling out of love so to speak.

So I began High School, and I had almost completely moved on from Virginia. Now this is where the story really begins. You see, Susie attends my High School. Because she was one of the only people I had to be friends with from Middle School, I hung out with her a lot. I sat with her at Lunch and such, and we really got to know each other better. Soon enough, I really began to see her as more than a friend. It was kind of a weird emotional time for me, because I was falling out of love with Virginia and falling in love with Susie. I feel really naive saying that, but it's true. Anyway, my relationship with Susie grew, and I finally decided to give up on Virginia - my brain and my heart were completely going for Susie. I mean, I could go into extensive detail into how much I love her; her silliness, her kindness, her caring nature, her sweetness and funniness, and her unique beauty are all traits I admire in her very much. But I'll save you that extensive report.

So we've been growing our relationship every day, every time we meet, and we have many moments of (what I believe to be) flirting with each other. I want so badly to tell her how I feel, but here is where the first dilemma comes into play: at one point, somehow, she came to mention that she was forbidden from dating until she was 17. Yeah, I know, it doesn't seem like that big of a deal, but I have a strong feeling that if I act too quickly, it will ruin my chances because she'll feel held back. So I formed this plan in my head a while back, that when she's 17, I'm going to tell her how I feel and all that. I honestly can't tell you how many times I've worked that through in my mind. That was all good and dandy for me, aside from the fact that I was constantly dying to get it out - it's really testing my patience. Then, of course, there's another problem which has to interfere with it all: the good ol' "friend zone". See, we're in 10th grade now, and lately I've been feeling as if those moments when I thought she was flirting were simply acts of friendship. I have heavy doubts that she actually has any feelings for me anymore, let alone that she ever had any at all. I'm doing my best to show her that I'm not just a friend, but I worry that she doesn't see it. Even if she does, it doesn't mean she has feelings for me.

So my two major problems in this situation are her "dating age" forced upon her by her mother (who is very nice by the way, but quite over-protective), and my horrible uncertainty. I feel like if I tell her too early, I could ruin my chances, and if I tell her too late, we might just become more of friends than anything else. I also feel like if I tell her at all, it'll demolish our friendship in case things never work out. I value our relationship very much. So I need your help. Please. What should I do? Should I tell her? If so, when? I was thinking I could tell her this year rather than wait until she's 17, but I really don't know anymore. I need all the thoughts I can get on the matter.


Thank you so very much in advance,
~Amateur

[theAmatuer]

Okay, I know it's not a very interesting story, and I spelled my username like an idiot (I can't believe I didn't notice that), but I would really appreciate some help or advice of any sort. Don't mean to beg.

[Cerby]

You're young, so you can take risks with little impact for the long term. You can expect if you tell her how you feel ,the friendship will never be the same no matter if she likes you back or not. So tell her and hope for the best, or alternatively, if you feel she'll say no, then keep the friendship and go after another girl.

Feelings are hard to put aside, but reality can be a bitch sometimes. Decide if the risk is worth taking and go for it! Personally, if I could be 16 again, I would have asked out FAR more people than I did.

[theAmatuer]

Feelings are hard to put aside, but reality can be a bitch sometimes. Decide if the risk is worth taking and go for it! Personally, if I could be 16 again, I would have asked out FAR more people than I did.

Yeah, you know, I completely agree with you. Although I really don't desire to ask out a lot of people. But regardless, I think I should tell her... but when? I don't mind taking the risk I suppose, but I don't know when to speak with her about it.

[Cerby]

Yeah, you know, I completely agree with you. Although I really don't desire to ask out a lot of people. But regardless, I think I should tell her... but when? I don't mind taking the risk I suppose, but I don't know when to speak with her about it.

Look at it a different way...Is there really any reason to wait to tell her? Is it worth waiting a year until she is 17 just to have her tell you she doesn't feel the same when you tell her then? These are questions for you to figure out.

[theAmatuer]

Look at it a different way...Is there really any reason to wait to tell her? Is it worth waiting a year until she is 17 just to have her tell you she doesn't feel the same when you tell her then? These are questions for you to figure out.

Honestly, the reason I wouldn't tell her anytime soon would be because I don't want it to get awkward between us. She's literally my best friend - the best friend I've ever had. But you're right. You're very right. I honestly can't believe I didn't think so logically before; why wait just to get rejected?

Okay, I think it's settled. I'll tell her soon. Hoo boy, now I'm just going to stress myself out about when exactly to tell her. xD

But really Cerby, thank you so much. I really appreciate you helping me out with this pathetic little situation of mine. You're very wise in the ways of love. (Haha, sorry if that sounded awkward.)