Dealing with 'Daddy Issues'

[bloodbuzz]

Me and my girlfriend have been experiencing problems for a while now. We live together, we're both in our mid 20s, 2 and half years together.

I've come to the attention that a lot of problems that we have are stemmed from her being insecure and vigilant over me and other women. For the record, I have never cheated on her, do not have many friends of the opposite sex or flirt with others. Many arguments will begin with her being paranoid or upset with me over something that is minor. She even confesses that she is hyper-sensitive.

I believe we are dealing with 'daddy issues' due to her relationship with her father. Firstly, she has a good loving relationship with her mother. The problem with her father was that although he was around during her childhood, he wasn't the most affectionate person or able to express himself well. And as soon as she went away to University, her father left home and started seeing a woman who was the same age (or a year) older than her. To make matters worse, her relationship with her father is nearly non-existant. They will see eachother once or twice a year (though living 3-4 miles away). Meetings and conversations will also be brief.

Because of this and maybe due to other reasons, my girlfriend has low expectations on people. The glass is half full. She lacks faith in people as she feels that ultimately they will let you down (her words).

Now I can appreciate that this is a horrible situation and relationship to have. But I need to be there for her. Addressing the problem is one but I need help and advice on how to deal with it. I've been going through articles/blogs/threads on 'daddy issues', but there are certain types and none include anything on how to deal with the issue that I have with my girlfriend.

I really would appreciate your thoughts and advice on this.

Thanks.

[Fruitss]

hmmm, i hope u know what u r doing by telling her she have daddy issues and it cause of bad experience with her father.
cause i think u dont know each-other well so i dont think she wants u too go there.\

and u cant change her , u can only say what u feel and how u experience her bad behavior.

but trust u can build in years. so not when u want her too do that.
she will do something about it when she realize she have a issue and seek help and wants too change

[Fruitss]

and i dont see the connection between her issue and the saying : daddy issues.
so do u know what u r talking about?

[basilandthyme]

I'm an advocate of 'tough love'

My thoughts are that you should raise your expectations of her. You should not accept or excuse her behaviour because of her past. No matter what happened in her past, the way she deals with current situations is all on her. And be very careful not to nurture her through the paranoia - all you're doing is reinforcing that it's OK to be this way.

If you want to be there for her, then support her through counselling. But if she refuses counselling, this would indicate that she's happy as she is and has no intention of changing.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Start playing on her insecurity. When she starts questioning you, give her the answer that you know she dreads most. Mess with her until she gets the hint.

[Fruitss]

u r evil dude ^

[basilandthyme]

Start playing on her insecurity. When she starts questioning you, give her the answer that you know she dreads most. Mess with her until she gets the hint.

I have to admit to doing this when it comes to body image. More than once, a slim friend has continually complained about being fat. I got tired of reassuring and having them argue the point....so in the end I just started to agree. Yeah, you're fat...better do something about it.