Single at 19

[Love'sReject]

Nah. A lot of folks really hate themselves and find partners; it's all about façades, bro. Life is a continually unfolding drama; you must perform your role well, and improvise.

[Gargul]

Nah. A lot of folks really hate themselves and find partners; it's all about façades, bro. Life is a continually unfolding drama; you must perform your role well, and improvise.

Can you please explain the connection between hating oneself and finding a partner?

[Love'sReject]

The connection between a self-hating person and relationships and a self-loving person and relationships are exactly the same; it doesn't matter about internals if one can project an image of full confidence. This is why relationships go wrong; the façades are so convincing up until a point, when the image fades and the real person inside starts showing.

[Gargul]

The connection between a self-hating person and relationships and a self-loving person and relationships are exactly the same; it doesn't matter about internals if one can project an image of full confidence. This is why relationships go wrong; the façades are so convincing up until a point, when the image fades and the real person inside starts showing.

So it seems that the mask of confidence everyone is telling this boy to put up will only lead him to ruin - he seems to want a long term relationship, not some fling.

As a shy person myself, I can say that confidence is not something that's easy to gain in the genuine sense. But when I'm at work dealing with customers I'll never see again, I can fake it pretty well in intervals of about 5 minutes.

[Love'sReject]

The biggest thing is for the confidence not to be a mask, which is pretty tough to do. Many who seem to be confident are really insecure.

[HeartIsAching]

Can you please explain the connection between hating oneself and finding a partner?

BTW - you're asking advice from someone who's single, a virgin, and doomed to remain that way.

[smackie9]

So it seems that the mask of confidence everyone is telling this boy to put up will only lead him to ruin - he seems to want a long term relationship, not some fling.

As a shy person myself, I can say that confidence is not something that's easy to gain in the genuine sense. But when I'm at work dealing with customers I'll never see again, I can fake it pretty well in intervals of about 5 minutes.

Little do you know but those customers can see through it.

[Billyman3000]

Little do you know but those customers can see through it.

Gargul is right, smackie. The same happens to me when I'm talking to a girl I feel comfortable with: when I feel comfortable with someone, I project an image of natural confidence, and confidence, like breathing, comes better off naturally. But I really feel confident, although according to society it's more important to appear than to really be, so maybe that's what Gargul is trying to say, and no, people can't really see through it, trust me, and if they can see you're not appearing quite well(I deal with this kind of people everyday)

[smackie9]

People are not going to come out as say "I notice you have a little anxiety". You don't really know what others see or think...

[Love'sReject]

BTW - you're asking advice from someone who's single, a virgin, and doomed to remain that way.

Shut it gramps.

[HeartIsAching]

You're STILL not done sobbing over the owning you got, Cupcake? Sheesh.

[MehicanFather]

He's busy in another thread talking his usual pish.

[HeartIsAching]

I saw that.

[Love'sReject]

Both o' youse; shut it.

[MehicanFather]

Sorry son. You keep trying with that bird in the other thread. You were doing really well.