Single at 19

[basilandthyme]

So, this is me, single at 19. I never had a girlfriend in my whole life, and I really want to get out there dating because it's really nice to have someone to share your life with, cuddle, kiss and stuff. I feel like I can make a girl very happy once I know her, but I can't get her to like me because I don't know how to start a conversation with a girl, unless when I'm with my friends... It's complicated.

Meeting someone with or through your friends is perfectly normal. I would imagine that very few people have success when introducing themselves to a stranger.

Perhaps widening your friendship groups will help. The more people you know, means the more people you will meet. Even going out with your mates can lead to you and your mates meeting a cool group of girls.

[HeartIsAching]

I do understand what that means and just to be sure, I double-checked to be sure it fits in this context which clearly it does. DELUDED . 2-0 LR

Fixed for accuracy.

[Love'sReject]

I fixed your mom for accuracy.

[HeartIsAching]

Sick ****er. She's nearly 70.

[smackie9]

I, myself, don't like the idea of being a pickup artist, a manwhore or anything similar. I like and support the idea of being a normal, confident guy who can pick up a girl, not lots of girls, just that one special girl.

The point is you need contact with girls...the first one you like probably won't be special, so you need to talk to as many as you can to find the right one. Date lots and have fun.

[Love'sReject]

Sick ****er. She's nearly 70.

Lol, I wasn't implying anything sexual..Oedipus Complex, much?

[smackie9]

I was thinking of changing my clothing style to a one based on hooded jackets and caps, because when I wear a cap I feel confident, I like wearing caps.

Every little bit helps...and LR is right working out builds confidence. Keeping busy, and having an active social life helps too. You can't expect to see results over night, but it will come in time. Changing your look is always a plus.,,,trying something new for yourself.

[Billyman3000]

Meeting someone with or through your friends is perfectly normal. I would imagine that very few people have success when introducing themselves to a stranger.

Perhaps widening your friendship groups will help. The more people you know, means the more people you will meet. Even going out with your mates can lead to you and your mates meeting a cool group of girls.

I have some trouble interacting with the people my friends meet, because the people they usually meet just aren't my kind. I'm more like a (a little)introverted, calm, chilled-out dude and they're more like a disinhibited, crazy, extroverted kind. All those people who are less extroverted than them they just reject, that's my problem...

[Love'sReject]

Extroverts suffer from being neurotic just as much as introverts, little known secret: they're so outward and social to deal (or not) with their own internal issues. Just keep in mind that they're no more sane than you are, perhaps even less because those who have to show more typically have more to hide and cover with their own façades.

[basilandthyme]

So, this is where widening your friendship group comes into play. Does your local gym have any social things? Can you meet anyone through your hobbies or interests? There may be other guys you can hang out with who are less extroverted.

Having said that, I know a few extroverted girl groups - and there's usually one or two quieter girls on the peripheral. Don't judge a book by it's cover. Take a step back and see if there's a quieter one on the edge of the group. Or, if you get invited somewhere with all the crazy girls and guys, go along. You never know who else you may meet.

[Love'sReject]

If you hang out with losers or nerdy looking guys, women will automatically label you a loser or nerd and not consider you. Careful who you make friends with; your friends determine who you date, little known secret.

[Scarlet_P]

Billyman, nothing wrong with being thoughtful. If you can hold a good conversation, and especially eye-contact (and I don't mean not blinking because that's just freaky) but smiling and paying attention, you'll soon see if a lady is interested. Join a gym, that can't hurt. OK, it can if you do it wrong, but anyway..

One thing I noticed when being out and about was when to spot if a girl firstly notices you, and then secondly likes you. If you get a death stare, chances are she probably doesn't like you. Stand tall, and if a chick smiles at you, smile back, raise your beer, and go over and talk to her. Something like, "are you having a good night?" or "Hi, I'm Billy. What's your name?" (but don't say Billyman3000, she won't dig that). Also, here's a little trick...ask her questions where she's likely to say "yes", other than "do you come here often?". If she's saying yes, she's saying yes.

[VincenzoG91]

Also, here's a little trick...ask her questions where she's likely to say "yes", other than "do you come here often?". If she's saying yes, she's saying yes.

Here's an old sales trick that I learned from my dad: ask a series of questions that are easily answered "yes," starting with innocent stuff and working towards the better questions. For example, start with something like, "Nice weather we're having tonight, isn't it?" and work towards something like "Can I get your phone number?"

[all alone]

Hey, I thought I could relate to a lot of what you are saying Billyman. When i was 15-19 I went through a similar phase where I was pretty worried I would end up alone (hence this user name haha, oh man.. i look back now and just laugh at it!) I'm a pretty average guy overall, but the trouble was that I was quite insecure because I was afraid of being alone.. I also let a couple 'bad' experiences get to my head. I say bad in quotations because I look back at them now and see them as good learning experiences and I can see why perhaps a lot of those failed attempts at a relationship didn't work out for the better.

Here is how you change, you got to learn to love yourself. Sounds stupid and no I don't mean this in a narcissistic way, but you need to love in yourself and be content with who you are. If you aren't, then why should anybody else love you? You will also never be comfortable around other people and women. If you are comfy, then you will also naturally project a lot of confidence and other traits that make on desirable. You don't need to be the guy who will punch out another dude to project confidence, that it going about it the wrong way imo and just attract the wrong type of woman. I realized "Holy shit i'm 19.. i've still got a whole life in-front of me". I wasn't 50 and had never been in a love, I was just a teenager like so many others who go through that phase. The best thing I did was stop worrying about every single thing, and just focused on enjoying myself. With others, and with women. Maybe you don't get a relationship, so what, maybe you sleep with on here or there.. Just don't focus on the long term, learn to live in the moment and enjoy yourself a little more.

Just talk to different people and girls whenever you get the chance. Don't be afraid to put yourself out of your confort zone, you may surprise yourself with what you are capable of. And little by little, you will begin to figure things out. It won't happy over night or anything, so just lean back, relax and have some fun

[Scarlet_P]

I agree with all alone - learn to love yourself, and enjoy your own company. If you don't love life, it won't love you back.