Why do guys act one way and then change?

[jenalexis]

Here is my question. Why do guys act one way with a girl (sweet, honest, open, etc) when they are alone with her, but when they are in a group setting and out at a bar scene, they tend to act like idiots? I'm tired of the Dr. Jekyl Mr. Hyde personality. I know young guys tend to act up to seem all player like, but this guys knows he doesn't have to play me because we've both said we like eachother. I've spent good quality time with him and he could have clearly have gone home at any time he wanted but we stayed driving around until 6 a.m. And even at that time he said he didn't want to leave me. He tells me that he wants to settle down but can't right now, which I accept, and tells me that I could be that girl. Any insight?

[Love'sReject]

It's a societal thing: guys are supposed to suppress feelings and emotion around other guys (pack mentality) but act emotional and whatnot with girls in private.

[Wakeup]

He tells me that he wants to settle down but can't right now, which I accept, and tells me that I could be that girl. Any insight?

What a line of hooey! How could you be "that girl" if "he can't right now?"

Ya gotta listen to what they're actually saying, not what you want to hear.

[andy10]

I'm going to agree by both of the above gents in a way. The "Too Cool" BOY is the role John Travolta played in "GREASE." Yes, it is natural for abstract historical reasons, but MEN are able to manage that feeling responsibility and put it away in our teens. Men who still behave that was as they grow older aren't ready for the developmentally -more-mature love of a woman. Except for Olivia-Newton John in "GREASE", I never seen a man mature that quickly. It normally takes years.

[jennifer.c]

What a line of hooey! How could you be "that girl" if "he can't right now?"

Ya gotta listen to what they're actually saying, not what you want to hear.

While you could be correct, Wakeup, at the same time it is also entirely possible to be in a place where you can't seriously commit just yet but still have strong feelings for a person. A lot of factors go into settling down.

Like not being emotionally mature enough yet, for example. Which the whole double act thing you're talking about, jenalexis, is usually related to.

[TeensCosmo]

It's because of the ego guys have

[Wakeup]

While you could be correct, Wakeup, at the same time it is also entirely possible to be in a place where you can't seriously commit just yet but still have strong feelings for a person. A lot of factors go into settling down.

My point: why would you take the time to get emotionally involved with someone who has clearly told you they can't. You are wasting your time more times then not when someone can, with certainty tell you "they're not ready" (Or similar) which clearly means, you're NOT the one.

Like not being emotionally mature enough yet, for example.

Again.. why would you place your time, emotions and hope on someone who is emotionally immature? Makes zero sense... and why I say "Listen to what they say, not what you want to hear."

[Guybrush]

Here is my question. Why do guys act one way with a girl (sweet, honest, open, etc) when they are alone with her, but when they are in a group setting and out at a bar scene, they tend to act like idiots?

Some guys do that. Most guys don't. You obviously pick the wrong ones.