Not believing me :(

**Horace123** · 10-01-13, 06:19 AM

Originally Posted by searock

Okay... if this is all you talked about, then yes, your girlfriend is being unreasonable. I think you should stop apologizing.

Well Sea, pardon my rant just there. It just rips me up that a chat I had, to try & be a better person for her......albeit I used bad judgment whith WHOM I chatted to about it.......could destroy us. I walk on egg shells everyday, not knowing when her mind will race again. Ive even told her I WISH now there was more to it, becuase then this would make more sense. Sounds so dumb I know, but I hope you get the point.

**Horace123** · 10-01-13, 06:22 AM

Originally Posted by searock

As I said, if that is really all you talked about, your girlfriend is being unreasonable and you should stop apologizing. You sound like a doormat btw... she's stomping all over you. Are you sure you're happy in this relationship?

You sound like my Mum & my friends now......."you're being a doormat". Damn I know I am too. Was NEVER a doormat previously in my life, have no idea how that weakness started.

Am I happy? When its good its fantastic, when its bad its horrendous......really horrendous.

**BackUpOrGetStng** · 10-01-13, 11:36 PM

You're not a doormat. You're a bitch.

Stop showing your cunt of a girlfriend any attention, and watch her change her tune. You really should find another girl though, because this one just wants a gutless pussy for a boyfriend..and she has one.

**calibeauty** · 11-01-13, 04:26 AM

I'm going to maybe try to give you a perspective from her side of things... because I feel like I am your jealous girlfriend!

Ask her - has she been betrayed before? Maybe her feelings about a relationship are that if you didn't have anything to hide, she would have known about the conversation. Maybe someone in her past had an innocent chatty conversation turn into much more. It is wrong for her to bring it up over and over again, especially if there IS NO REASON for her to bring it up again! If you have been forthcoming since then and or ceased conversations with females she doesn't know, you're not hiding texts or phone calls or emails, then she should drop it! Maybe if you take extra care to show her regularly she has nothing to fear or worry about, then she will begin to settle down about it. She might just need some extra reassurance!

**Horace123** · 11-01-13, 08:44 AM

Originally Posted by calibeauty

I'm going to maybe try to give you a perspective from her side of things... because I feel like I am your jealous girlfriend!

Ask her - has she been betrayed before? Maybe her feelings about a relationship are that if you didn't have anything to hide, she would have known about the conversation. Maybe someone in her past had an innocent chatty conversation turn into much more. It is wrong for her to bring it up over and over again, especially if there IS NO REASON for her to bring it up again! If you have been forthcoming since then and or ceased conversations with females she doesn't know, you're not hiding texts or phone calls or emails, then she should drop it! Maybe if you take extra care to show her regularly she has nothing to fear or worry about, then she will begin to settle down about it. She might just need some extra reassurance!

Well.....backuporgetstrong, I guess maybe you're a stronger guy than I am. I appreciate your words but thats not my style, I'm a lover not a fighter. There IS an element of truth to what you say I understand that, but there are better ways than playing the "im tougher than you" game. I hear your words though.

cali......yes, yes & yes. I should ask her that you are correct. I have a feeling it wont be taken too well, but thats ok. I think this stopped being about me and more about her a while back. I guess I'm so busy defending, deflecting & putting out fires that its taken me so long to understand. I HAVE been forthcoming ever since. I even closed my FB account, not to give in, because I could care less about it, and she is so much more important than that stupid site. I dont hide texts, phonecalls. I dont converse with any other female, and if I do, I will be sure to tell her straight away. Afterall, if its nothing then its nothing, no need to bury it. God I wish I had done that to begin with ~ how does one wind back the clock. Yes.....I'm all about showing her all of me, reassuring her, reminding her, telling her that she is my star on this planet. I am guilty of maybe being too all in? If thats possible. But I am an old romantic, I love that part of me and I hope I never lose it. Thank you for your time in replying, its appreciated.

**bcgirl** · 11-01-13, 01:00 PM

What's your zodiac sign?

**Boisdevie** · 11-01-13, 01:01 PM

Originally Posted by bcgirl

What's your zodiac sign?

Is 'Di.ckhead' a zodiac sign?

**IndiReloaded** · 11-01-13, 01:08 PM

She's very insecure. She is making you pay for the mistakes of others, including her own for dating them. Be very clear about this though: its not about you. Its about her and her inability to trust.

She needs to let what happened go. Yes you screwed up, yes you are sorry. At the end of the day, you want to be with her. If that isn't enough for her, then I agree with Stung. Break it off. Kick her in the ass to take the chance it will screw her head back on straight. No need to be an ass about it, though. Just say its too bad she can't trust you, which is HER problem, and you can't be in a relationship w/o trust:

Trust = comes from her
Trustworthy = comes from you

**bcgirl** · 11-01-13, 01:11 PM

So when you say you two were discussing divorce, jealousy and depression.... Was there anything more to it than that? I mean, wouldn't it be the same as you talking to strangers about your problems on this forum with us?? It's practically the same thing in what you did... Talk to a stranger about problems. Would you say that to be the case?

**IndiReloaded** · 11-01-13, 01:17 PM

If he's not in contact with her anymore, what is the issue? He didn't cheat, or even really have an EA far as I can tell. Not likely to repeat. Let it go. Pick your battles.

**bcgirl** · 11-01-13, 10:34 PM

Well if he promised his gf he would never talk to strangers online than he is breaking his promise because he is talking to all of us.......

**Horace123** · 11-01-13, 11:46 PM

Originally Posted by bcgirl

So when you say you two were discussing divorce, jealousy and depression.... Was there anything more to it than that? I mean, wouldn't it be the same as you talking to strangers about your problems on this forum with us?? It's practically the same thing in what you did... Talk to a stranger about problems. Would you say that to be the case?

bcgirl.....no there was no more to it. I was trying to figure out why I was so jealous, and it opened up into baggage I guess (the divorce). And yes, its exactly the same as what I'm doing on here with you guys. BUT, lesson learnt. I have told her I'm posting on some forums to gain insight this time. So I'massuming thats ok. I think the gist of the problem, which I created, is twofold. FB comes with certain tales of hooking up, or inappropriate contact. I get that. My judgment call was bad, but not what i did, make sense? The woman I chatted with was also not ugly, for want of a better word. And I even posted something about her body waaaaay back when. That obviously was a huge mistake, and I have owned it & apologized for it. BUt I guess in doing that, I made it SEEM there was more to it. I dont know.....

**Horace123** · 11-01-13, 11:47 PM

Originally Posted by IndiReloaded

If he's not in contact with her anymore, what is the issue? He didn't cheat, or even really have an EA far as I can tell. Not likely to repeat. Let it go. Pick your battles.

Those are my thoughts exactly. But some people, namely my gf, cant let it go. We are reallly trying to work thru this as much as we can. I think we both realize this is not about me anymore, this is about her & her inability to let it go. By being on here, I am just trying to learn what else I can do, for her......for us.

**searock** · 12-01-13, 12:03 AM

You should stop thinking about what you can do for her, and focus on what you can do for yourself. You are basically her slave, you do everything she says and are forced to apologize for months for a thing that you don't even think was wrong in the first place (not to this extent at any rate, and I agree with you). You need to stop apologizing as I said. Tell to her one last time that you care about this relationship and really want for it to work, BUT you don't know what else to do right now to make her stop being angry, so you're just going to give her space. Tell her to let you know when she feels better, and don't contact her until she contacts you.

**relationshiphq** · 12-01-13, 12:02 PM

Ignore her every time she brings this issue up and not argue back, just silence....

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