Not believing me :(

[bcgirl]

The woman I chatted with was also not ugly, for want of a better word. And I even posted something about her body waaaaay back when. That obviously was a huge mistake, and I have owned it & apologized for it. BUt I guess in doing that, I made it SEEM there was more to it. I dont know.....

U were taking to this hottie about why you are so jealous. So is it safe to say that if the tables were reversed you would be acting the way your gf is acting? She is clearly jealous and hurt that you would betray her by talking to a hottie you clearly find hot and she knows it. Your gf may be fine for a while but then once she remembers the feeling of how betrayed you made her feel she can't get over it and she won't be able to forgive you. Without her truly forgiving you and moving past it, this is what you'll have to endure.

[basilandthyme]

You're not a doormat. You're a bitch.

Stop showing your cunt of a girlfriend any attention, and watch her change her tune. You really should find another girl though, because this one just wants a gutless pussy for a boyfriend..and she has one.

Let me work on the same theory as BackUp, but with different wording.

The whole time you are trying to be nice and apologising and listening to her, you're reinforcing her behaviour. And she's going to keep doing it until some negative consequences come her way.

It's way past time for you to stand up to her.

[hillde]

well....i think i would react similar if i found out my boyfriend is opening up to another woman, talking about very personal stuff.
If shes hot its 1000 times worse. that gives a feeling of not being the most important woman in your life. as if you need another woman to fill
something that your girlfriend cannot give to you. Thats why she cannot just forgive you. it left a bitter feeling of not being enough for you.
you have to really prove to her, that she is all you need and want. by talking and apologizing you will not be convincing.

[Horace123]

Firstly, let me thank EVERYONE on here for their responses. It really is greatly appreciated. Secondly, yes i guess in posting this on here I'm 'kind of' doing the same thing as what got me in this mess to begin with......BUT, this is anonymous, I cant possibly be expected to know all of lifes answers.......so how else do I better myself, how else do I learn, than 'going to the library'. And in this day & age, this is the library.
I NEVER used to do this, or maybe I just never asked questions,maybe I thought I knew it all. I dont know. But I am trying......anything.......to help US get thru this. I am not, nor do I ever want this to be about why I hould or shouldnt be with her. I am. I choose to be. And I bloody well love it. I am just trying to understand, to learn, gain insight......whatever you want to call it, so that I dont leave one stone unturned and I hold close what I have now.

Did I initially, some 8 months ago, post a complimentary 'body remark' on this nobody........yes.
(( I use the word 'nobody' on purpose....it WAS a throwaway flirt line. It meant nothing.Never did. BUT I do understand it was wrong ~ big time)

Have I caused this 'untrust' ness...........yes.

Was I really trying to do anything untowrd ~ NO

Have I ever wanted to do anything untoward ~ NO

Would I, in future days, ever do anything untoward to this woman ~ NO

Did I have one big online chat to this woman about jealousy/life/divorce ~ YES

Should I have ~ NO. It was a bad judgment call.

But, and I would swear this on my own Mom's life........I was just trying to gain insight, to learn. Coming out of a shitty divorce, i needed advice, from anyone.
I was not trying to be bad......for want of a better word. Trust me, in this now, the third month of being not trusted, I sometimes wish there was more to it ~ it would make more sense.
I guess, and I'm not a newbie in the world, have people become so cynical, so burned by past love......that small mistakes become the end of everything?

I am an old romantic. It doesnt really fit into todays age.......but I never want to lose it. Its one of my finest attributes, even if it is old fashioned. I dont care.I DO believe that love makes the world go round. I do believe that sometimes, people are so scared of the unknown that they ignore today. My GF has, of course like anyone else would, made some minor bad judgment calls in this relationship. Have I always reacted cool.....hell no. Its something I also want to work on. BUT.......I do recognize that its hard. Its great, its fantastic......but its hard. It seems to me that people, and this is a rash generalization........fear the worst so much more easier than they could ever believe that everything is cool. Is it built within us? Does life, over the years, ram this home so much that we cant see the forest for the trees ? I really dont know. And I guess ultimately this is where I get stuck. I made a mistake.Not a huge one, but a mistake nonetheless. And it hurt the one woman I love with everything I have. To not be able to repair this, make it better, put it in the rear window......kills me.

A leap of faith for most is akin to public speaking. Its terrifying. But I would love to rekindle it, amongst all. I hope I never stop believing that a leap of faith is what makes the world go round.

To love someone with all you have is one of the greatest feelings in the world. To have it questioned over a mistake is understandable. To not ever forgive, when you know everything......eventually......is sacrilege.
Maybe I feel too much, too deeply, more than her......perhaps. I could live with that, Id hate it but Id acccept it. But to be doubted, when you have your whole heart & soul in someone, is crushing.

Anyway, enough of this rant. I do appreciate everyones words.....even if they are at opposite ends of the spectrum. It all helps. Cheers...........

[bcgirl]

If you were such an old romantic, why did you talk to a hottie that you've commented her body on about jealousy and divorce when you have a gf?
Why her? Why not a dude instead?

[Horace123]

BC......I talked to about 20 people. Some guys, some girls, some family. Anyone, I didnt care. I knew what I was doing, so it never mattered who they were.

[adalinaabella]

It is very necessary to have a talk with each other and clear all the misunderstanding.

[searock]

BC......I talked to about 20 people. Some guys, some girls, some family. Anyone, I didnt care. I knew what I was doing, so it never mattered who they were.

Then why did you make that comment about her body? Have you been emptily apologizing, i.e. apologizing but not meaning it? Do you not recognize that you made a mistake (apart from saying that you did)?

In any case, the point is that your gf has trouble accepting what you did and forgiving you. Either you accept this fact, or you break up and move on. It sounds like she's high maintenance anyway.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

You're a punk bitch, and you deserve everything you're going through with this broad.