Intense relationship

[Bonsia]

Hi,

I've been going out with my girlfriend for around 8 months and things have been going fine up until about 3 month ago.


Recently her parents have starting getting more involved in her life again and it's effecting her considerably. They are incredibly needy and dysfunctional, they are both classed as vulnerable by the social services and she has always had to look after them through her childhood. She's getting 20 or 30 text messages a day from them both and this stresses her out. She's told them she needs to take some time out from looking after them to concentrate on her life, job and relationship for a year or so but they wont let this happen. They are phoning her 20 times a day even travelling 4 hours and turning up at the house to confront her why she isn't answering the phone or responding to txt messages.

On top of this she has also started a new job which is quite high pressured. She puts on a brave face most times but I can tell she's out of her depth with this one. She's coming home late most nights then going straight on her work laptop and writing E-mails, and on the phone Ect. She comes home upset almost every day and I have to comfort her for around an hour ever night. I want her to do well in life but by time she's been in this job for a year they'll be nothing left of her.

Then to top all that off she had a miscarriage 2 month ago. I wont have to tell you what kind of impact this has had on her. She sits up all night crying, she sometimes mopes about feeling sorry for herself, it's causing distance between us. I said to her that I think she would benefit from counselling and she got really offended. She thinks I'm calling her crazy and that I don't want to talk to her about it. That I want her to talk to someone else other than me which isn't true. I don't know what else to do. There is very little that is good or positive in our relationship now.

She has a history of depression and I think she suffering from depression again. I've been thinking and maybe the only reason I'm with her now is because I don't know what will happen if I leave her. She would be crushed. She's attempted suicide before and I don't want anything bad to happen to her.

I've tried talking to her about all of this but she wont knowledge any of it. She wont show signs of weakness in front of people.

Has anyone had similar experiences like this? I dont know what's the right thing to do.

[bcgirl]

She grew up all her life with parents that are dysfunctional and extremely needy. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. You've only been with her for 8 months, which in the whole scheme of things is peanuts and she is getting herself pregnant by someone she's briefly dating explains a lot about her. She will be relying on you the way her parents do to her. If I were you, I would run far far away

[Bonsia]

She is very needy also. There's very little I can do without her wanting to come also. Even things with my friends.

I want her to begin to move onwards from the miss carriage but she can't let go. I want her to talk to someone who can give her the support that I cannot.

Your advice is right I need to end this but I don't know how. Things are not great right now and she's pretty low. Every night she cries on my shoulder and tells me she can't do it without me and she wouldn't know what to do if I left. Her history of depression and attempted suicide worries me.

I still love her and I don't want her to go through this on her own.