Help/advice please!

[ashley89]

I made this post before and a bunch of people viewed it but no one replied, I'm thinking it was too long haha so I'm gonna take out the unnecessary details and hope that someone can answer me this time around!

Long story short: 2 years ago my ex dumped me for another girl, I was depressed & very upset about it, my friends took me out to the bar to get my mind off things, I met a really cute bartender, after meeting him a few times he asked for my # and we ended up hooking up. At the time I didn't know he had a gf so he lied and said they broke up, I found out he did have one, I didn't hang out with him again until they were done. We hooked up for a few months and then he started seriously dating another girl, I was devastated because I liked him a lot, stopped talking to/seeing him.

He kept texting me asking to hang out, I didn't want to go because I felt it was wrong hooking up with someone who had a girlfriend, eventually he was getting so annoying that I ended up blocking his number from my phone. Didn't talk to him for about 6 months and hadn't seen him for a year, found out he was single in August, we started talking again then and have been hooking up since.

Since hooking up with him again my feelings have been brought back and are even stronger, we now hook up a lot more often than in the past and actually hang out, watch movies, eat food together etc. but are not dating. I know he isn't right for me, he's an alcoholic who recently had to go to the hospital cause of internal bleeding due to drinking, has actually TOLD ME he sometimes sleeps with other girls, cares about me but doesn't think we would work in a relationship, has weird mood swings. Yet throughout all of this crap I somehow care and have feelings for him. I don't want to do it anymore and I need help getting myself over him and moving along, hanging out with him is holding me back and wasting my time, but I can't take my own advice. Please help!

[Love'sReject]

Here ya go, the straight truth: he lies about caring for you because he strikes me as a sociopath and what sociopaths do is pretend to care about others' feelings, but have ulterior motives. In this case, he tries to pass off as a caring womanizer, but he's a womanizer, which means that he just says what you want to hear so he can keep doing you without getting tied into a relationship. He loves to sleep around without commitment (and when he does commit, he cheats). This guy is an animal.

[MehicanFather]

lol, stfu man.

[MehicanFather]

Trying to cock-block a brother you dont even know. Not cool.

[Love'sReject]

I don't mind cock-blocking a dumb cock like the guy she's describing: he's a pure jackass.

[relationshiphq]

If you can't take your own advice, then what is there to tell you? You can't help someone who doesn't want help.

[ashley89]

Here ya go, the straight truth: he lies about caring for you because he strikes me as a sociopath and what sociopaths do is pretend to care about others' feelings, but have ulterior motives. In this case, he tries to pass off as a caring womanizer, but he's a womanizer, which means that he just says what you want to hear so he can keep doing you without getting tied into a relationship. He loves to sleep around without commitment (and when he does commit, he cheats). This guy is an animal.

yeah you're completely right! he is a liar and a sociopath. I deserve better I just need to stop thinking about him. thank you

[ashley89]

If you can't take your own advice, then what is there to tell you? You can't help someone who doesn't want help.

I obviously want help with the situation, otherwise why would I come here and ask for it? I meant that it's easy to give advice to others about a situation but hard to take it yourself, things are usually a lot easier said than done. Just needed to hear some words of wisdom from people not associated with the situation and from another perspective.

[Guybrush]

Imaging how worried you would be if you ended up in a relationship with this guy. You would never be able to trust him, would you?

[eksink]

I don't mind cock-blocking a dumb cock like the guy she's describing: he's a pure jackass.

You, sir, are completely awesome.

And I agree with Love'sReject. There's no way you could ever trust this guy and he's just a sociopath who will say anything to get what he wants. let go and find someone who deserves you.

[Fruitss]

your self esteem is zero, stop looking for men start working on it

[bcgirl]

He keeps wanting to "hook up with u" because u are easy. Don't be so desperate? Why do you'd keep hooking up with him? For the sex? You put out when you deep down don't want to but feel lonely?
Block his number like you did the first time before you end up like the other girl on this forum where her bf gave her an std

[ashley89]

He keeps wanting to "hook up with u" because u are easy. Don't be so desperate? Why do you'd keep hooking up with him? For the sex? You put out when you deep down don't want to but feel lonely?
Block his number like you did the first time before you end up like the other girl on this forum where her bf gave her an std

the sex is really good but I realize it is only that and I'm wasting my time just hooking up with him when it's going nowhere. I can't really explain why I like him or what it is about him that keeps me coming back but it needs to stop. I think blocking his number again is a good idea

[MehicanFather]

Ignore these bawbags. Keep seeing him, he sounds awesome.

[bcgirl]

You are probably lonely so at least hooking up with him even if its just sex is something you can do to occupy your lonely Friday nights. But the thing is that this friends with benefits guy ain't doing you any good because it takes you away from meeting potential good boyfriends. The time spent with him, you can be spending that time meeting other guys.