I fell for my boss and we are both married! Help!

[Emily32]

I really need some help with this because it is eating away at me - here is the back story:

I began working for him last year and ever since the beginning I always had feelings for him. We are both married. It was everything I could do to try and hide my feelings. My job only required that I meet with him about once a week. I always looked forward to our meetings and I think he did too. When we would meet we barely talked about work but conversed about other things. He has such a great personality, he made me laugh, he made me feel good, reminded me that life isn't so serious, looked me square in the face and listened when I was talking, he appreciated me, he understood me, and I always felt there was nothing I couldn't talk to him about - except, of course, this. I noticed I started to look my best when I'd see him and so would he. I am in my early 30's and he is 14 years older than me and he is also very wealthy (he is very down to earth), and highly intelligent. I think we both admired each other.

A few months ago he promoted me in his company. This is a job I would have loved to have and I believe he tailored this job to what he knew I wanted (why do you think I like this guy??). We met one evening to discuss details of this job and the meeting felt more like a date - we laughed, talked, and stared at each other. The new job would have required me to work with him a little more closely and meet more often and speak on the phone often.

The situation began to frighten me because I was falling deeper for my boss with all the talk about the promotion, and I think he was too. Since we are both married I felt that I could no longer work in this situation because it was getting harder to hide emotion. I love my husband and I don't believe in cheating. So, one day I used a small issue within the company as an excuse to leave - it was abrupt and I know it looked completely off. I called him that day and said I was done (almost in tears). I offered a two week notice but he wouldn't take it.

I feel terrible because I think he feels at fault for this "small issue" that I really used as an excuse to leave. Its been 3 months or so and I'm still broken up about it.

What I want to know is, should I e-mail him and explain a little more about why I could no longer work for the company or should I just completely leave it alone? Did I do the right thing here?

I need some good advice.

[searock]

I think he already knows the true reason for which you left... I don't think you need to contact him to explain. You did the right thing, pity for having to lose your dream job though.

[Emily32]

Really? Does it sound like he knows? If that's true then I can just leave it alone.... yes, I am so sad about the job.

[Guybrush]

I second what searock said. I don't see why you should contact him to explain.

By the way, kudos for doing the right thing! I admire your integrity. And somehow question that of your former boss.

[searock]

Well, he surely knows that you two had been flirting and sharing a "special emotional connection". He knows that you are both married, and he knows that you were about to step into dangerous waters, with the promotion and all. It doesn't take a genius to understand why you left. I'm sure he respects you even more, as disappointed as he may be.

[Emily32]

Guybrush - thank you for that compliment. It was so hard but I made a promise when I got married. I too question his integrity and I guess I can use that to try and get over him.

Searock - you are so right