Girlfriend of 4.5 yrs cheated on me again dont know what to do

[Beenthere]

Solidus, I really do have sympathy for you but this girl is just not going to change. You cannot be with someone who you know is cheating on you left, right and centre. You said it yourself, you do need to sit down with someone and speak face to face, because this feeling of love for her, goes way beyond what I would say is normal. It sounds like you depend on her emotionally and just cant let go of some good times she's shown you in the past. You need to value yourself, realise you are worth 10... 15... 50 times what she's worth in your relationship, move on, and give your love and fidelity to someone who reciprocates in the same way. Dont waste any more time on this girl, get angry, get upset at what she has done, value what youve given her and realise she has without doubt thrown it right back at you, knowing you will take her back.. if she cries, says she is sucidal, blames signals from you, hugs you and and tells you she will change. She wont change. Sometimes it helps to think of the future. Think of 5 years from now if you stay, would you want to be married to her? I wouldnt. Would you want her to be pregnant with a child.. your child? Would you know its yours as you hug it? you probably couldnt be certain. Would you want to have a child with her, knowing there are problems and you might have to leave because you cant take it anymore.. and then spend the rest of your days fighting for access or custody. I hope all of your answers to this are NO...No way, so you can move on and find the girl who treats you as well as you treat your ex, is faithful and brings more to your relationship than lies and pain. Good luck and be strong... do talk to someone if you think it will help.

[Solidus943]

So we broke up and that was an emotional roller coaster, alot of fight. Shes hime now and her mum is watching over her. I feel emotionaly exhausted, her mum knows that she cheated on me the first time and that she cheated again this time but she doesnt know the whole storie and part of me wants to tell her about everything she did how many times she cheated on me but the other part of me doesnt want her mum to look down on her anymore that wat she does.

[Solidus943]

Missing her already, feel so lost

[smackie9]

Hang in there, be strong.......

[Solidus943]

Woke up this morning and forgot she wasnt there and went to turn around and cuddle her.

[smackie9]

What you need to do is change your routine. Instead of waking up and rolling over to cuddle, get up and watch the news, or look out the window at the sunrise or go out on the deck with your coffee. Think outside the box.

[ashley89]

I've never been in this type of situation but I can never figure out why people stay with people who cheat on them... it just makes no sense to me. I know it's hard when you love someone and all but come on... this started happening within the first year of the relationship and you stayed with her for 4.5 years? whyyyy

[smackie9]

There's a lot of people that think that they didn't do enough or love them enough so they keep wanting to make it better and fix themselves to be better.....basically it stems from lack of self worth. They think that they can't do any better. Pathetic I know.

[Wakeup]

So we broke up and that was an emotional roller coaster, alot of fight. Shes hime now and her mum is watching over her. I feel emotionaly exhausted, her mum knows that she cheated on me the first time and that she cheated again this time but she doesnt know the whole storie and part of me wants to tell her about everything she did how many times she cheated on me but the other part of me doesnt want her mum to look down on her anymore that wat she does.

Her mother knows she cheated twice.. (that makes her a chronic/serial cheater) her mother knowing she cheated again or not, makes little difference. If her mother doesn't ensure that her daughter gets the psych help that she obviously needs then the mother is just as fkd up as the daughter.

Wash your hands of all of them and start working on yourself by doing things and accompleshing things that will improve your own self worth. Anyone who would stick with someone like her for as long as you have needs a top-up in the self-worth department. You don't want to pick another one just like her because they validates your own sub-conscious thoughts that you don't deserve anyone better.

[CoolStoryBro]

Woke up this morning and forgot she wasnt there and went to turn around and cuddle her.

lol,stfu bro. please

[fruitlooopmac]

guys give him a bit of a break. he obviously cares alot about her. right now i think he needs your support and not your negativity.

[Elias Alucard]

OMFG just dump her already and move on.

Agree. People have to be honest to themselves.

[Solidus943]

After the first incedent were she cheated we both saw a phycotigyst and it took a long time for us to move past it all. It wasnt til much later in the relationship did I find out about the other stuff that had happened and that was also hard to work through but at that stage I kind of just shut down and I ignore what had happen and I guess for a while it became more about a physical thing. Also its amazing what the brain does it chooses to ignore and repress all the bad things that had happened and once agian an emotional connection was back. I started thinkin bout propossing again and that everything was ok this time. Its just hard to leave someone that u love, I really did fall very hard in love with her from the very start. I really guess I just like being in a relationship more than being single cause u can come home to someone every night that u love and u know ur always gonna get some action with someone u care about instead of some stranger

[ashley89]

I really guess I just like being in a relationship more than being single cause u can come home to someone every night that u love and u know ur always gonna get some action with someone u care about instead of some stranger

so you would rather be getting some "action" from this girl who continually lies to you and cheats on you than be single and gain your independence back and wait til you meet someone who actually values and respects you as a person? makes sense...

[ashley89]

not to mention since she's cheating on you with multiple different people, you don't know if she's using condoms or protection, you could end up with an STD, or what if she gets pregnant by one of these people? come on man... at some point you have to draw the line and stand up for yourself. it isn't worth it in the end...