I am his perfect girl yet he isn't in love with me

[pcmaster]

Thats really wierd when some random people try to give advice or opinion on relationship cause We know almost nothingg about it even less abouth their feelings about eachother.

However when he sleeps and opens his eyes look in his eyes and see how he feels when the first thing he see is you. Theres no way fake anything in this way.

[ashley89]

However when he sleeps and opens his eyes look in his eyes and see how he feels when the first thing he see is you. Theres no way fake anything in this way.

probably one of the creepiest things I've read on this forum to date

[ashley89]

Thats really wierd when some random people try to give advice or opinion on relationship cause We know almost nothingg about it even less abouth their feelings about eachother.

that's the exact reason people come to this forum, to get random advice from people they don't know and who can be neutral to the situation. your friends and family are gonna tell you what you want to hear, they aren't going to tell you to divorce your husband or dump someone you love. people here have been through various personal experiences which give us knowledge and perspective on these kinds of things. if these people didn't need help I don't think they would post here

[pcmaster]

Yeah probably friends and family is the worse on giving sugestions, but even ,neutral people at work and etc. get it totaly wrong from my expierience. Mostly the people who talks about others is the ones who dont have fun private life. The OP can only give one sided explanation on whats going on. So if someone wants help he have to see both of them like a couple like profesionals always do.
From my own expierience you have to confused to ask for advice or even tell about relationship to strangers. In this state even wrong assumption might be believable and therefore wrong actions made.

[ashley89]

Yeah probably friends and family is the worse on giving sugestions, but even ,neutral people at work and etc. get it totaly wrong from my expierience. Mostly the people who talks about others is the ones who dont have fun private life. The OP can only give one sided explanation on whats going on. So if someone wants help he have to see both of them like a couple like profesionals always do.
From my own expierience you have to confused to ask for advice or even tell about relationship to strangers. In this state even wrong assumption might be believable and therefore wrong actions made.

I guess that's true but this isn't a professional therapist, it's a free online love advice forum. it's kinda like you get what you ask for... some free advice from a bunch of random strangers. it's not like we're forcing the opinions down their throat, just giving advice based on what we have been through ourselves. it is up to the OP to then choose what they want to do based on what feedback they get. if they really need help or want to do couples therapy or something, they should go to a therapist. I think they just want some quick general advice here

[Rowen]

Maybe it's just me, but I honestly don't think perfection exists...so, at that being said, maybe he feels things with you are a little too perfect.

This has happened to me (I mean, I've been in the guy's shoes.). I met a guy who is one of the sweetest men on the planet. He has a job that he loves doing, stays out of drama, and is physically my type. BUT talking to him is too perfect... There's not that uniqueness about him that sets him apart. For instance, the man I'm currently madly in love with drives me absolutely insane sometimes. He'll piss me off to no end and drive me up the wall...but those same habits I miss when I talk to the Mr. Perfect I told you about. It's not a thirst for "drama". It's just the fact that the man I love is quite different from all the others I've ever known.

So, at that, it might be a case of where there's an absence of something special that's missing. That's how it was for me, and I can only ever be friends with Mr. Perfect.
I hope that makes sense...it made a lot more sense in my head.
Hope this helps,
Will

[smackie9]

Why are we still picking at this? The guy said to let her down easy because he discovered he really isn't that into a relationship with her....it's over she got her answers. end of.

[angel31]

Bottom line: If he wanted to be with you, he would. If he says he wants to "go back to being just friends" then, he wants to go back to being just friends. No matter what his reasoning, that part doesn't really matter. The point is, he likes you as a friend, but nothing more. Cut your loses and move on. If he doesn't love you (and clearly he doesn't in the way that you want him to, he TOLD you he didn't) then respect his wishes, don't push or press him and come across as desperate. Value his friendship, cut the leash and let him move on with his life and you move on with yours. Find a man that DOES love you and want to be more than friends.

[charm01]

What surprises us when it comes to Love is that, we may have found the one that we are looking for. But if there is no "spark" between the two of you, it will end up to nothing. You may be the perfect one, but you are not the right one. Isn't it?

[michelle23]

I think you should stop sleeping wit him, have no contact, give him space and let him figure out what he wants. If you got together too soon after a breakup, then unintentionally you may have become the rebound-sorry.

Other than that, the reason he is not infatuated by you-butterflies, obsession, excitement, anxiety etc is because you knew each other for ages before anything happened. He is probably one of those idiots who is in love with the idea of love. Who thinks infatuation and all those weird feelings are love but that is not true. Love is when you move way past that stage and know everything about each other (the good, the bad and the ugly) and accept each other for who you are. Its when you feel like they are your best friend and you want to spend more time with them than anyone else but you also enjoy sleeping together... Its when you can spend a lot of time with someone without getting irritated and annoyed with them over every little stupid thing. Its when just thinking about them, gives you a very subtle, little warm feeling that makes you smile and you get a rush of dopamine (addiction hormone-makes you addicted to your partner over time)

Dont bother trying to tell him any of this though. Let him go. Some people never learn, they never stay and fight, they always wonder is the grass greener. Just let him go and find yourself someone who will love you unconditionally for who you are.. xx

[michelle23]

There is no such thing as "a spark" by the way. That is all BS... Love is not supposed to be exciting. Its supposed to be calm.

[michelle23]

Sex with a friend never works. That boundary should never have been crossed. Friendship can grow into love if you didn't give him easy access to sex. Guys think very differently. Once we have sex with a girl we are not in love with, then it will stay that way.

Thats not true. Lots of people start having sex in the infatuation stage and it grows to love... Men bond emotionally through sex just like women do. It has the same effect. Vasopressin, oxytocin and dopamine hormones all help us to fall in love and stay in love..

[ashley89]

where are all these old threads coming from?! lol these stopped being talked about like 2 weeks ago now guys

[smackie9]

Ya I already told this Michelle to keep stick with the current stuff. Post on stuff that was posted within the last two days.....this is a fast paced site, shit is over with a few days. It's best to look at what is posted in the "lastest posts" on the right of the main page.

[michelle23]

Thats what i was doing. Sorry. It came up in the last 4 or 5.thats y i comented on it..