My girlfriend (and now fiance) of well over 10 years cheated on me 5 years ago

[michelle23]

So you had a few arguments (what couple doesn't) and then she chose to believe some stupid article in the paper? That is not a good reason to cheat. In fact, I don't think there is ever a good reason to cheat on anyone.. Plus if she is that weak that she will turn to another man every time you go through a rough patch or every time she reads "humans are not meant to be monogamous" or some other crap then she is obviously quiet gullible and naive.

This is so wrong on so many levels. First of all having sex with someone else and betraying you, second of all keeping in touch with this man who is probably laughing at you, third of all lying to you for 5years and planning to start a marriage with you with that MASSIVE secret, and then giving you some pathetic excuse that really does not make any sense whatsoever. Not to mention that this man has pictures of her! And what if she caught some horrible disease off him and passed it onto you?

I know you are in shock right now, you are hurting, angry, upset etc but please don't make excuses for her behavior and please think about yourself and your future. You need to focus on yourself and what is going to make you happy and you should be a little selfish right now since she has been for five years. It is such a shock to your system that turns your whole world upside down and it wouldn't surprise me if you are not thinking clearly right now. Perhaps you should try some counselling for yourself to help you heal.

Id also recommend no contact with her until you are ready to make a decision about what you want to do next. Some people are not ready to make that decision for 2-5years after a shock like this and you will heal faster if she is not around you.

My heart breaks when I hear stories like yours. I know if this happened to me, I would fall into a black hole and it would take years to claw my way out but please try to stay strong and take care of you now.

I really believe a relationship cannot be happy again after something like this but only you can decide whether you want to try or not.

If you need help to deal with all the crazy emotions over the next few years, stay on this site. Lots of people will be willing to help you.

[michelle23]

So you had a few arguments (what couple doesn't) and then she chose to believe some stupid article in the paper? That is not a good reason to cheat. In fact, I don't think there is ever a good reason to cheat on anyone.. Plus if she is that weak that she will turn to another man every time you go through a rough patch or every time she reads "humans are not meant to be monogamous" or some other crap then she is obviously quiet gullible and naive.

This is so wrong on so many levels. First of all having sex with someone else and betraying you, second of all keeping in touch with this man who is probably laughing at you, third of all lying to you for 5years and planning to start a marriage with you with that MASSIVE secret, and then giving you some pathetic excuse that really does not make any sense whatsoever. Not to mention that this man has pictures of her! And what if she caught some horrible disease off him and passed it onto you?

I know you are in shock right now, you are hurting, angry, upset etc but please don't make excuses for her behavior and please think about yourself and your future. You need to focus on yourself and what is going to make you happy and you should be a little selfish right now since she has been for five years. It is such a shock to your system that turns your whole world upside down and it wouldn't surprise me if you are not thinking clearly right now. Perhaps you should try some counselling for yourself to help you heal.

Id also recommend no contact with her until you are ready to make a decision about what you want to do next. Some people are not ready to make that decision for 2-5years after a shock like this and you will heal faster if she is not around you.

My heart breaks when I hear stories like yours. I know if this happened to me, I would fall into a black hole and it would take years to claw my way out but please try to stay strong and take care of you now.

I really believe a relationship cannot be happy again after something like this but only you can decide whether you want to try or not.

If you need help to deal with all the crazy emotions over the next few years, stay on this site. Lots of people will be willing to help you.