Why does my ex boyfriend still hate me so much?

[Ella123]

Me and my ex boyfriend have been broken up for over a year now and had a really intense relationship. We loved each other, borderline obsessed, however I hurt him too much (wont get into it) and we broke up after about a year. It was sort of me that broke up with him but then I realised I had been being silly and tried to get him back but he didn't want it.

It took me a longggg time to get over him and I'm not even sure I still am. Anyway we had some bitter feuds for a few months then absolutely no contact. In this time I thought things had become civil, he said happy birthday to me on my facebook I did the same when it was his birthday and in July he asked me a favour and it was all very nice and civil and I was happy because all I wanted was for us to not hate each other and to move on because that was the best thing to do. Since July I haven't spoken to him.

Or maybe he was just pretending to be nice because recently I noticed a comment from his twitter which someone retweeted which was very much directed at me. Also a girl who he is friends with had a sort of dig at me on twitter after something I had said and he retweeted it when he was drunk and made out it was a good thing what she had said (all really immature)

So now I realise that we are very much not civil anymore, at least he isn't because he evidently still hates me. I only wish him the best and although sometimes I do get nostalgia and feel lonely I realise we have both changed and there's not a chance we can get back together.

I've heard that hate is very close to love but the feeling I get is that his hatred for me is bitter and really strong which hurts me because I haven't said anything to him. We had a rocky relationship and I admit I ruined it and deeply hurt him but I don't understand why more than a year later he still hates me? We were first loves and all that but I don't understand what I've done?

I noticed that his hate properly started after we broke up. Before then it was sort of he loved me but he hated me for hurting him. Now, I can only describe his hate as if there was a car, he'd throw me under it. Really it is that strong. But like I said we haven't been in contact at all, we've had no arguments and I've always tried to remain nice to him even when he was being horrible to me. I realise he has good reason to hate me but I suppose I just feel a bit down that something which was so good became so bad and it is still bad even after all this time.

[ashley89]

who cares? he's your ex boyfriend and you shouldn't be talking to him/caring about what he thinks at all... move on

[basilandthyme]

I guess at least you know that his hatred is justified. I reckon it would be worse if you had no idea why he hated you. But don't kid yourself that being nice to him now in anyway makes up for hurting him during the relationship.

Anyway, if you stay out of his life, the hatred will eventually ease into indifference.