Once a cheater always a cheater?

[bob the brave]

I know a single girl that cheated with a married man whom she knew also had affairs with other married women. She has met his wife and two grade school age daughters. It wasn't an affair, she didn't love him, she just wanted sex.

She can seem very sweet and is responsible in her job. Do you think such a woman would cheat in marriage or do you think it is possible she would change her ways for the right guy?

[ashley89]

well she isn't really the one who cheated... she helped HIM cheat. so she was basically the other girl. it still doesn't make this scenario right at all, but technically she isn't the one who was in a relationship committing infidelity, he was. I have to admit I have been the other girl once (with someone in a relationship, not a married man) and personally I felt so guilty and horrible I couldn't bring myself to do it again. I guess I have too much of a conscience. perhaps she was just attracted to this guy and wasn't using good judgment, it doesn't necessarily mean she will do this herself when she is in a committed relationship or is married to someone she loves.

[HeartIsAching]

No, she didn't cheat - but she enabled him to cheat. Obviously she doesn't think that's terribly wrong... so I'd steer clear, personally.

[Wakeup]

I agree with you HIA. I'm thinking anyone without personal boundaries (enabling a cheater to cheat) isn't (in many cases) the best person to try and form a lasting relationship with. Particularily if they've never gotten any professional guidance in how to be less of a self-serving opportunist. The non-guilty are the "once a cheater, always a cheater" types.

[LoveDocJon]

I coach guys to stay away from those who have cheated or were in an affair. It comes down to a loyalty trait which she doesn't have or doesn't respect for someone else.

[Wakeup]

I coach guys to stay away from those who have cheated or were in an affair. It comes down to a loyalty trait which she doesn't have or doesn't respect for someone else.

What do you coach the guys who have cheated about themselves? Or, those who have enabled cheating for that matter?

[Rowen]

Yeah, she was just the mistress. But if she finds no problem in sleeping with married men, she obviously has no respect for the commitment and marriage, so why would you even want her?

[smackie9]

Ya I agree.....stay away from those who feel self entitled to shag someone elses husband or BF. I see a problem with moral values here.....not exactly promising dating material..

[LoveDocJon]

What do you coach the guys who have cheated about themselves? Or, those who have enabled cheating for that matter?

My system changed the way men see and understand women. When a guy who has cheated before comes to me, which is actually a rarity, usually they have been through enough where they understand what needs to be changed. Sure it may be a double standard, but keeping away from a girl who has cheated is usually the best option. I teach how to be a gentleman and negotiate in a relationship while keeping the women in love.

In general though, it's just easier to say to stay away from cheaters rather than having to dive into each individual situation.

[ashley89]

how old is this girl? it could also depend on her maturity level. while I do agree with everyone that helping a married man commit infidelity isn't right and is not someone you would wanna get serious with, she could just be young and not making the best decisions. it may be something she learns with age and realizes isn't the right thing to do. but if she is older and at the age where she should know this is wrong, that's a big red flag