I think I am In love with 2 blokes

[poppies]

i dated a guy when i was 14 he was ten it lasted a few months then we moved on 10 yrs later we bumped into each other and there was an attraction that was there when we younger we danced and caught up nothing came of it cause i just started a relationship with my current partner then 10 yrs later we met again and there was still a connection, but as we are both in relationships, nothing happened. but now i can't get him out of my head or dreams is there a reason we keep meeting 10 yrs apart.?can anyone help me work it out.

[Rowen]

Wasn't this sort of like Persuasion by Jane Austin? (I think that's the one.)

Well, let me ask you this. Why don't the two of you keep in contact?

[poppies]

we do for bout 6 months then drift appart as other things come up.

[ashley89]

sounds like just a coincidence since you don't see him in between those times, and you both are in relationships now so I wouldn't really want to mess that up for someone you randomly bump into every decade. if you drift apart and don't seem to keep in contact maybe it means it's not meant to be?

[Guybrush]

This guy is probably a completely different person now than when he was 14.

Chances are that what you describe as a "connection" might just be your own memory of a romantic feeling, which - incidentally - involved him originally.

[Rowen]

Well, I agree with ashley. Don't screw up a relationship or two relationships, for that matter, over this. There's no reason to hurt anyone with someone who only seems to be around for brief periods of time.

In the end, it's your choice, but if you find yourselves single, ask him out. If you two never are single again when you talk, then you have your answer. When in doubt, just go with it. Even if you don't date this guy someday, you're bound to find another man you want to spend the rest of your days with.

[michelle23]

I think this is typical of wondering is the grass greener. If youve been with your current partner a long time and your happy dont screw that up. Its prob just a fantasy that will end in tears if u act on it. Its just attraction thats all and its not worth throwing away something special for. If u feel like u have settled for second best, then end ur current relationship. You really shouldnt be thinking this way

[poppies]

thanks i have been in a 11 yr relationship and before this we have been finding faults with each other and i do love my partner and wouldnt cheat but there are prblems that have been there but never addressed them i think that we are comfortable together is a reason we dont break up, but the intemisy has gone,i have felt like this for a couple of yrs plus gambling issues with him, that are getting ridiculas, now were earning more money.i can survive by my self and would be happy to be single but i do have a love for my partner.this situation sux.

[michelle23]

Get relationship counselling and try to get back on track and forget about your ex. He is just an escape from reality because you are feeling unhappy. Thats all. You can be happy with your partner again. All relationships go comfortable after awhile. It just means you both have to work harder to make each other happy and try to keep the romance alive

[rob1984]

COMMUNICATION, you are adults now fix your problems. It's easier to run then stay and fix it.

[Wakeup]

Well, let me ask you this. Why don't the two of you keep in contact?

My suggestions is the complete opposite to that^^^. Why don't the two of you go no contact because it's quite obvious that he doesn't want any sort of real relationship with you or he would have made it happen by now. A sexual attraction to one another does not mean you would be good at being in a relationship together so don't let your mere little chats make you think there's more there then there actually is. Delete/block/ignore and enjoy the relationship you're currently in to the fullest without little interfering tidbit thoughts of another mar your current connection.

You don't need relationship councelling, you just need to amputate the extra appendage (Mr. 14 Year Old Ex Boyfriend) that is causing you false feeeeeeeeeeelings and then speak to your current partner about his gambling and how unacceptable it is to the health of your relationship and that it needs to stop. If he doesn't value you enough to stop, then leave him and forget BOTH men because jumping from one to another is just foolish for all involved. You don't even know Mr. 14 year old ex anymore.