ex girlfriend pulled the "I need time" card?

[michelle23]

He already said hes not going to do that. I hope he doesn't anyway..

[Wakeup]

He SAYS he feels differently. Time will tell if he'll be "chaste" when someone like the past him presents herself to him.

.. btw.. sorry for talking about you behind your back, Josh. Michelle and I are just doing some speculating here. Based on what you say, yes you've changed.. none of us will know (not even you) if you have until you're presented with a situation where you have to decide.

Be well and always be safe.

[spiritofjosh]

hey guys just for good measure this is a harmless debate, you guys have your points and I have mine. No offense taken just in case I may seem offended.

But to clarify; no I never used girls for sport BUT from first glance it would seem that way. At each time I obviously didn't realize this and didn't think other people did either. Now I guess from the last relationship it has been a learning experience and I have to be more careful with how I present myself. I never acted cocky or high and mighty after I went to bed with anybody. Because as I mentioned previously it was never a "victory" I planned for, it just always ended up being that way and to be honest one girl I even told I didn't want to hook up with anymore until something more solid formed. Not because I wanted to pursue somebody else but that relationship started getting to physical and SHE broke it off with me because I didn't want to just fck her.

And now the present. So me and my ex broke up, she had her reasons and none I blame, and I learned from it, which is good. But as we speak there's this girl that's been pursuing me for almost 3 years and has told me numerous times that we can hook up with no strings attached. She's attractive but I'm not interested. I don't want hook ups and I certainly do not like pursuing any girl that open about just hooking up because she can. That to me is where I'm coming from when I mentioned "chaste" women. When I first started talking to my recent ex, that's what attracted me the most when she wouldn't just come on to me until she felt we were going in the right direction, I have more respect for women that way and lately I've had more respect for myself to not contradict that.

[spiritofjosh]

Please, if you have a discussion about me behind my back it's perfectly alright. And personally this is the best advice/discussion I've had in quite some time. I appreciate non-biased opinions and information greatly. And it even helps me learn a little about myself that I may not have thought of otherwise.

[michelle23]

Josh i think if you explain all that in the future to a girl-she will not judge you. As for that girl persuing you for ages-its great you havnt given in-well done. Women like that are like spiders trying to catch a fly. She might give up now that your single. Some women like her use their body to catch a man-then when they think they have him wrapped around their little finger-they completely go off sex.

I know a few girls like that. Would go out and shag half the town but now that their in a relationship-they treat him like some sort of pervert for wanting to sleep with her.

[spiritofjosh]

I feel that's how my ex of 5 years was, thinks the only way a guy will want her is by using her body instead of her brain, which is the kind of girl I have more respect for, like my current ex. The 5 year ex and I didn't have sex until a couple weeks after we officially started dating but we broke up once during the 5 years for about 7 months and she hooked up with two other guys and kind of clung to them for a while until they had enough, then she came back to me. Believe it or not I was so stupid that I took her back.

Now this proves why I was harping on the situation with my current ex so much, because to me she acts like a real woman who was raised by a good family and was raised to have very high self respect. I admire this about her. And speaking of, I haven't spoken to her myself but she texted me today out of nowhere asking if I knew that "1 out of 25 people don't have a conscience?" I replied "nope" and she said nothing else. A few hours later I posted a picture of myself on instagram and she commented on it tagging "#guizwithtattooz" but deleted the comment a half hour later. I guess she's trying to push the friend thing on me or stay friendly but I can't really handle us just being friends.

I appreciate the people on this thread understanding that I'm not some player or out to just bed as many women as I can. As I had stated, I always mean well and have better intentions but it always ends up being incompatibility after something intimate happens.

[michelle23]

At least you know what you want and understand yourself. Many men don't. Its better to have no contact with her. You'll heal faster this way Its for the best and the next time you meet someone special-it could be the real deal

[spiritofjosh]

it's getting hard because she keeps texting me. she texted me again this morning asking if I was busy today bc she never got to give me my birthday presents. I was polite but not overly talkative and told her I was busy. she asked what I was doing and I told her, which was going to get a drink w my old friend Audrey I knew from awhile back then going out after. she was furious and said she knew I was already chasing other girls but I explained she's an old friend plain and simple. I told her shes jealous and she admitted it and again sent me some random fact like she did yesterday followed by a smiley.

it wasnt a bad or too forward conversation it actually made me feel a little better but I still don't get what she's doing, last week she told me to leave her alone? anyway, it's better to post here than text her, which I'm not going out of my way for, I'm just being polite because after all she didn't break up with me for no reason so I don't want to be mean to her.

[michelle23]

You need to cut all contact and tell her you cant be friends because you need space to get over her. I suggest you send her one last text telling her that and ignore her after that if she contacts you again. It may be a good idea to block her on Fabebook and other sites too-not to be mean or nasty but just so you don't feel an urge to spy on her or anything.

[Wakeup]

it wasnt a bad or too forward conversation it actually made me feel a little better but I still don't get what she's doing, last week she told me to leave her alone? anyway, it's better to post here than text her, which I'm not going out of my way for, I'm just being polite because after all she didn't break up with me for no reason so I don't want to be mean to her.

Yea.. last week she told you to leave her alone because she didn't want to be your gf, now she just wants you to demote you to being her MALE GIRLFRIEND. Don't let your ego be too stroked by her random tidbits of attention. Keeping her around will likely only screw up anything new you establish with the next girl you find attractive and see potential in when your ex keeps vieing for your attention and takes it away from your new gf. Pffft.

Lesson for the future: Remember the beginning of your thread when you were advised to tell her "Have a good Life?" Thats what you do in the future if she (she being any girl who doesn't know what she wants) doesn't know what she wants and asks for space or a break. She's not your wife.. no trial separations. No jumping through hoops for her, No trying to "win" her back.

When a girl tells you she needs space then give it to her. Don't have drinks with her, don't buy her flowers and don't talk to her and don't entertain her on her birthday. You tell her you know where I am when/if your ready and then get on with your life after telling her "no break, we work it out or we break up" If she thinks you need to "fight" for her or "buy" her affections then you should take the hint to run from her immaturity.

She chose to break up with you. Don't let her manipulate you into being her male girlfriend. If she wants you back, she should tell you that... don't wait around either.

[spiritofjosh]

You need to cut all contact and tell her you cant be friends because you need space to get over her. I suggest you send her one last text telling her that and ignore her after that if she contacts you again. It may be a good idea to block her on Fabebook and other sites too-not to be mean or nasty but just so you don't feel an urge to spy on her or anything.

Once we broke up she deleted her facebook so even if I wanted to I couldn't spy. And she didn't block me, her names still on my friends list but listed as "deactivated." And she still texts me since still, littler here and a little there so I haven't been completely ignoring her but I do just give her one-one word response than nothing to the response she gives back. She'll get the hint that I'm not trying to be her friend trust me, she already probably thinks I don't want to be her boyfriend again because she jumps to conclusions...just like how she always assumes I'm going to drop her the first good opportunity comes. In other words, me being very unresponsive is the same as flat out ignoring her.

[HeartIsAching]

In other words, no it's not.

[michelle23]

She wants you to chase her id say. Drama.. Just ignore her. You shouldnt have to put this much into impressing her. She cant have her cake and eat it. Just keep ignoring her.

[VincenzoG91]

What is the point of any further contact with her? The relationship is stone cold dead. Any potential friendship is going to be a sad, crippled mockery of actual friendship. Just stop. Stop talking to her. Stop texting her. Stop trying to look at her Facebook page. Just stop. The next time you feel the urge to talk to her, just bang your head against the wall. You will get the same result, only without giving her the satisfaction of causing the pain.

[spiritofjosh]

What is the point of any further contact with her? The relationship is stone cold dead. Any potential friendship is going to be a sad, crippled mockery of actual friendship. Just stop. Stop talking to her. Stop texting her. Stop trying to look at her Facebook page. Just stop. The next time you feel the urge to talk to her, just bang your head against the wall. You will get the same result, only without giving her the satisfaction of causing the pain.

By any chance did you read my last post? She doesn't have facebook, so there is non to look at. I said she texts ME, not vice versa. I don't text her under any circumstance, if she didn't text me there would be 0 contact, 0 conversation. And lastly, I told her I didn't want to be friends, so we are not friends. Perhaps she thinks we are or thinks we will be if she keeps trying to be nice, but I am not friendly back. Soon enough she will stop, and that will be that. I'm not a rude, impolite person, if she texts and asks a question I will answer the same as I would answer any text from any other person, friend or not. I don't give her special treatments via text.

No offense but next time read my post carefully before you basically list the opposite of what I'm doing. Thanks.