My best friend told me he had feelings for me

[Louise89]

Hi there,
I'm new here and need some advice.
I have been best friends with a guy for about 8 years now, and one night a while ago I was round at his and things changed. He told me he had really strong feelings for me and has done for ages. This took me by a huge surprise but I felt a similar way too. Then as we were talking about what to do I said I felt bad because he used to go out with one of my friends and I wouldn't want to hurt her. He didn't have much of a response to this and I think took it badly. After I left his he stopped talking to me and I tried texting him but I just get ignored.
Every now and then he'll send me a message or a text but as soon as the conversation gets going he stops responding.
Not only do I miss him as a friend but I also miss him as more. I am on the verge of just asking him straight up what happened and why he ignores me. But I don't want to ruin our friendship, although at this rate I don't think we have one anymore.
What should I do? Any help would be greatly appreciated!

[pcmaster]

Yeah you felt right what to do - just talk straight to him. Silence is worst thing when things are uncertain.

[michelle23]

He feels rejected and probably embarrassed. Do you have feelings for him? How serious was his relationship with him and your friend? Maybe you should figure out whether you want to go out with him or not.

If you do, talk to your girlfriend and ask for her blessing. Then text him and tell him how you feel.
If you don't want to go out with him-ask him can you still be friends.

Men normally don't get this close to a women unless they have feelings for her, want to take things further or just want to have sex with her. If you turn him down its likely hell lose all interest in being "your friend"

He probably never saw you as just a friend to begin with.

Men and women should not be friends. It doesn't work.

[Louise89]

Thank you! I have no idea what to say to him now. Any advice? He hates being confronted and pressured with this stuff, so he'll either ignore it or brush it off but I want a straight answer from him.

I do still have feelings for him, but I am not the type of girl to tell someone I like them. The funny thing is that I am not friends with his ex anymore haha, typical!

[michelle23]

Well he already spilled his guts to you-practically told you hes in love with you and wants more. So now the ball is in your court. You need to approach him face to face and say "Im sorry for the way I reacted, I was just a little shocked but I feel the same and want to start dating" and go from there.

It is awkward to shift from friendship to relationship but you already know him well, trust him, feel safe with him etc so what have you got to lose? He could be "the one"

[smackie9]

So what if he USED to go out with a friend of yours...that's a silly excuse,...Before you go forward telling him anything you should ask yourself, do you REALLY have any sexual feelings towards him? or are you just strongly emotionally attached? Since he has ignored you, are you feeling feelings of passionate love for him or is it separation anxiety. I think you really need to go over what you are truly feeling towards him.

[Louise89]

But when all this came out it wasn't long after they'd broken up, and she was head over heels, he wasn't. Just before he told me how he felt he kissed me, and we completely clicked. And it feels like he's left me hanging since then. I definitely do have feelings for him, I have been over it a million times in my head. I am afraid now if I say something to him he will say I'm having a massive overreaction over nothing, he's a big joker and laid back.

[michelle23]

sounds to me like you and he were having an emotional affair and he dumped her for you. Not cool if that is true...

He sounds immature and untrustworthy. Be cautious

[smackie9]

You missed your opportunity with him then. Just let it go.

[bleucandle]

Well you need to stay on that "VERGE" of "just asking him straight up what happened and why he ignores" you.