Dear dumpee, how you guys feeling today?

[Axis]

I have melted down this past few days. I have a feeling he is with the new girl and having fun, spending all weekend together and just them, just fun, just fun and leaving me in a trash! why I'm feeling this way?? WHY???

I go for cycling today to ease my mind and see the nice view of my country side. Got home and melted down again. Sometimes I just dont feel like going home at all. I hate the feeling to be at home where I can remember that a$$h0l3!!!!

[Gorza]

Welcome to heartbreak.

I'm the same, all my thoughts are of my ex with her new boyf and everywhere I go I think of them. The paranoia is unforgiving and I struggle to deal with it. Everyone says it'll get easier but the sadness I feel is unbearable.

Have to get out and stay busy, I put me headphones in and walk and run away from it all. Stay on that cycle, enjoy the views and make yourself slowly stronger.

[kskts6115]

Hey guys I just wanted to join in and say it's totally normal to feel the way you do. I'm there too but you guys are doing great by going out and trying to distract yourselves! That's great! And it is probably the hardest thing to do.. The ups and downs are exhausting because they are literally draining. Like one minute you will find yourself laughing and the next wanting to run away and cry. But I think its best to feel whatever you are feeling and don't lock it in. We got dumped and should have time to feel sad. We lost something that was important to us.

But try not to think about them with another person because that will just make you crazy. Definitely do not check their facebook or any social media because believe me it makes you feel worse after. Keep going on those long walks or cycles and even buy one of those cheesy self help books for breakups. I know you are probably thinking ya right but honestly I never thought I'd be the person to buy one either but it makes me feel better when I am in a low. It just kind of explains there are a lot of people feeling like you do and they do eventually get over it too. Trust me its worth a try.

[michelle23]

Stay strong itl get better in time

[basilandthyme]

Axis, I'll be honest. It's been nearly 6 months since you broke up. And it was long distance, so it's not as if he was around all the time and you miss his company.

Have you thought of counselling? It's just that this is a really long time to be feeling as bad as you do.

((hugs))

[Boisdevie]

People get dumped. It's not the end of the world. The fact that you can't deal with the idea that he's having fun with somebody else tells me you have some serious problems to deal with here.
I got dumped a year ago. I really don't care if she's shagging the local football team because it's no longer any of my business and quite frankly I don't give a toss. But you can't deal with it can you and that's not normal and it's not healthy.

[pcmaster]

Be carefull with the bike, If you are emotional than dont ride or drive at all.

[chammie]

... Have to get out and stay busy, I put me headphones in and walk and run away from it all. Stay on that cycle, enjoy the views and make yourself slowly stronger.

Yeah, I agree with Gorza. I'm not single yet been there, done that. Eventually, in three months time (that's with me), you'll notice you're better off without him.. You'll feel guilty because you can already feel that you don't need him anymore.. You'll feel guilty because you will think that you really don't love him coz you were not in pain anymore for losing him.. Believe me dear, it just seem so IMPOSSIBLE now.. but tomorrow? the next day? and then so on and so forth... it won't be forever...

[Axis]

Thanks for staying with me guys.. I know this is maybe not normal and unhealthy. I am indeed in so much pressure right now. I am living in country side and have no support from anybody's around me. Talk to you guys here is the best I can do to get the support- and at least to have somebody to listen to!

He is my first real relationship and it really broke my heart, it dragged me to the deep black hole I wish I could get out! It is sooo easy to say "I dont give a sh!* of my ex-, I moved on...etc" I even give good advice to others but cant apply it to myself. I am still struggling with myself. When he popped in my head, crying is all I do. One moment I fell so happy and over him, another minutes I fell depressed and crying over him!

Pcmaster : thank you so much for the warning, you are right, when I was cycling my mind wandering somewhere and it's dangerous when I am on the main road.

[Gorza]

No matter how much advice you receive and know that it's sensible but I feel like there's a block from me going thru with it.

Ppl say, get out, be yourself, do normal stuff, go dating and it's all true but I can't get ther because I think bout her all the time. The only thing I've found that rings true is give it time....time makes it easier but it's the waiting and thoughts that blow me away. It's been a few weeks and although I'm not over it all, my thoughts aren't so serious and if you can find a network even friends on the phone to share with, you'll at least feel you're not going thru alone.

Head up axis. We're all here....

[kskts6115]

Yeah I have that block for me too. It's like I know the advice is good and I'm trying to forget him but I still have a lot of time to go. And time is the key word because I think it's the only way to do it. That and not seeing the person. And eventually I guess the feelings do go away but the waiting part does suck.

It's good that you can see that you are improving and that's definitely an accomplishment! I also don't feel as terrible as I did a month ago and I think that is what we have to remind ourselves that it is getting better!

[toknow]

I hate the feeling to be at home where I can remember that a$$h0l3!!!!

ROLF... I see a lot of "love" there from your side. I understand being hurt, but I'd don't get hating the person you love. You can't hate someone and love them at the same time. So, obviously you don't love him, then why are you such a mess about it.

[kskts6115]

haha I don't think it's her actually hating him but hating the feelings that the break up left her with. Sometimes you call someone you love a name because you are just so hurt by what they did. I'm not saying it's right but I've definitely seen it a ton and I'm sure you have too. I think it's part of the getting over someone process to be angry at the person hence the name calling.

[toknow]

haha I don't think it's her actually hating him but hating the feelings that the break up left her with. Sometimes you call someone you love a name because you are just so hurt by what they did. I'm not saying it's right but I've definitely seen it a ton and I'm sure you have too. I think it's part of the getting over someone process to be angry at the person hence the name calling.

Good point. That could be the case, but it seems it's directed directly towards him. If she said she hates that he's hurt her, but she still loves him, then it's obvious she is directing it towards the feeling itself and not him, but then she directs it toward him. My point is, if she is mad at him for ruining their relationship, I can understand, but there seems to be resentment in it. That is what contradicts any feelings of love. Being mad at someone and resenting them are not the same thing.

[Axis]

ROLF... I see a lot of "love" there from your side. I understand being hurt, but I'd don't get hating the person you love. You can't hate someone and love them at the same time. So, obviously you don't love him, then why are you such a mess about it.

I cry myself out everyday, Im shaking to hear his name, I think about him everyday, and I haven't seen him for one year!!! please don't ever say that I don't love him. This pain eating me inside and turned my life up side down. He dumped me through Skype when we're in a long distance. Unfair yes he should say it to my face as how he purpose for our relationship and told my family he will marry me!

Calling someone name doesnt mean we dont love the person! how do you have such judgement?!?