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Thread: Getting her back or walking away ?

  1. #1
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    Getting her back or walking away ?

    I started speaking to her online for a long time and we got very close.she told me everything about her and we instantly clicked and had a deep connection.
    We met up she instantly liked me alot and we made it official we was together ..then I met her again and she eventually told me she loves me and I eventually let it slip out of my mouth that I love her too..
    We had beautiful times together I did everything I possibly could for her when times where tough for her I support her and got her through things smiling..I fell in love with her deeply I proposed to her and she told me yes ..
    Then eventually we kept meeting up and everything was goin great then we started getting into arguments over minor things and eventually she stopped speaking to me as much becoming distant claiming it was cuz of problems in her she wanted to be alone..
    She broke up wiv me telling me she didn't want this nomore ..I was very hurt and it cut me deep I cudnt let her go we has of talked of marriage before..I eventually got her back by speaking to her and I saw her for a little while when she was going through alot it was nice she was smiling and she left and told me she loves me..
    Then she became very distant again hardly speaking to me for a whole week telling me she needs space she's going thru alot I tried to contact her alot thinkin I can help her but she didn't allow me to talk to her ..
    Eventually we spoke she told me she dosent want this anymore she don't want a relationship I left it ..
    Then I spoke to her again and she told me there is no spark anymore and she claims she wants to move on even though she will happily have a conversation wiv me ..confusingly enough we was having a good conversation about other things..
    Is the spark gone becuz of the problems she was goin thru and the distance she created or isit because she never truly loved me for who I was ? Is there a way to salvage what we have ?

  2. #2
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    Quote Originally Posted by Troubledguy View Post
    Is the spark gone becuz of the problems she was goin thru and the distance she created or isit because she never truly loved me for who I was ?
    It's most likely none of the above. I'd probably because of the arguments over minor things. Having a relationship with petty arguments just wears you down and you eventually fall out of love.

    Is there a way to salvage it? I've never been tempted to return to an ex, so I can't give you any advice there.
    Never regret anything that has happened in your life. It cannot be changed, forgotten or undone. So, take it as a lesson learned and move on.

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    If the relationship was working then you'd still be together. You're not still together. So act like a grown up, accept the reality of the situation and move on.

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    Once the honeymoon period wears off and you get your head out of the clouds-you start to learn things about each other that you overlooked before. If you can accept all of these things and move past them and love each other for who you are-then you'll fall in love properly and hopefully stay together.

    Sometimes people just realize they are not compatible and it ends..

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    You should never fight about minor things - if you have to fight about anything it should only be about things related to the relationship - things that matter. And even in your fights it should be very obvious how much you love one another and that the fight is to preserve the relationship. You have to be very careful what you say in your fights, because once you say it, your loved one might remember it for life, and it could end your relationship if it hurts them deeply. In a fight, always let your loved one know you are not against them, make sure they feel that. Even when they are wrong in an argument with someone else, you must be always on their side, don't lie to them if they are wrong and tell them they are right, but always be their support. Never fight about who should throw out the garbage. Each one of the two should be more than glad to do it instead of the other, that goes for everything.
    Last edited by toknow; 13-02-13 at 10:38 PM.

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    So my best option is to walk away ? And I thank everyone for there advice I appreciate it alot

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    No, you're all wrong. Troubledguy, you should RUN! Put on your Nikes or whatever you have in footwear, and run for the hills straight away.

    She's playing games by doing this whole "Oh, I love you." and "No, sorry. I want something else." She obviously can't make up her damn mind, so she doesn't love you. If she did, there would be NO DOUBT about it in her mind. She'd express it to you, and it would never change. By doing this, she's messing with your head.

    Act like a grown up. You know what you want out of life? Good. Go get it. Because life is too short to wait around wishing and hoping for people who play pathetic games like this to change. Lace up your shoes, and run to the nearest crowd of single women once you've had your time to heal and get over it. Start mingling and talk to everyone. You never know; one of them will most likely be a level headed lady who knows what she wants. Life is too short for games like this. She doesn't deserve you. Do whatever you have to do to get over her, and take as long as you need to, but don't let her come back. If you do, you're only inviting heartache back. I speak so heatedly about this because this is the exact same thing my last ex did to me. You know what I did? I grew tired of the lying, the cheating, and the mind games, and I told him if his car ever found its way into my driveway, I would take a metal baseball to it. It was enough for him to stop his mental torture. Run away from her drama. There are other women- ones who will respect you and make you the happiest man in the world and WON'T play games with you. It happened to me; I found an amazing man who doesn't lie and respects me and my space. It will happen to you (except with a woman).

    Sorry to be blunt, but it's true.

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    I agree 100% with Rowen

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    Thank you rowen I been thru it before wiv anuva girl and now it's happened again but worse cuz i fell deep in love wiv this woman and it relli does mess wiv my mind cuz she told me what she wanted from the beginning ...and I think your advice is perfect thank you very much

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    No problem. Glad I could help.

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Troubledguy View Post
    I started speaking to her online for a long time and we got very close.she told me everything about her and we instantly clicked and had a deep connection.
    Why does everybody say this? It's not deep. It's not even a "connection" yet. It's just attraction/lust.

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