Almost 5 days in a Long-Distance Relationship

[Kromat83]

I had to let her go last Friday at the airport, it was an emotional time,
as we both went through a lot in just 1 months time, and really grew emotionally.

Still in good communication with each other, talking on Skype
every other day until i find consistent work ... eventually moving to just e-mails and web cam through Skype on Weekends, because of the 6 hour difference.

I'm doing special things to make sure i love her, and talk about my progress.

Recording videos is a good way to voice my opinion, instead of just writing it down.

This Saturday is her birthday, and she's planning to open her
present on that day, since i gave her something before she left.

She also left me something to remember her by, and will open it on that day too.

It'll be hard as the months go by, but I'm staying positive and will
visit her in July, and be able to hold her in my arms once again.

[Boisdevie]

My friend you're not staying positive you're staying deluded. You've just met this girl, spent not a lot of time together and now you won't see her for months. It's a tragedy that there are no girls in Canada you could date.

[Cerby]

I think the definition of "long term" is lost on you. People who have been dating for a year or more are long-term. People who have been dating a month are a "fling". Sorry that she moved back to Poland, since you're both living in other places this is not a temporary arrangement. Your own benefit would be to move on, enjoy what you had, and seek out another woman. It isn't that easy, but the heartache will eventually take its toll and this will make more and more sense to you.

[Boisdevie]

I think the definition of "long term" is lost on you. People who have been dating for a year or more are long-term. People who have been dating a month are a "fling". Sorry that she moved back to Poland, since you're both living in other places this is not a temporary arrangement. Your own benefit would be to move on, enjoy what you had, and seek out another woman. It isn't that easy, but the heartache will eventually take its toll and this will make more and more sense to you.

Bet he's got his fingers in his ears singing 'la la la' and thinking we don't understand because 'it's lurve'

[michelle23]

Long distance rarely works. Sorry to say it. Maybe IF you were together for 5 years and she moved home and you were planning to move there to be with her properly in 3 months time but other than that-no it wont work. One of you will start to resent the distance and itl be over.

[VincenzoG91]

This pie chart may help the OP understand what to expect from this relationship:

[Kromat83]

My friend you're not staying positive you're staying deluded. You've just met this girl, spent not a lot of time together and now you won't see her for months. It's a tragedy that there are no girls in Canada you could date.

Well, she was in Canada when we were dating, and was suppose to stay here for 2 more months, and we did spend quite a bit of time together in just that 1 month.

It happened unexpectedly, it's not like i was searching for anyone.
She was working for my mom, and i thought i'd give it a shot and hang out ..
i didn't know it would turn out this way, and it just so happened that she lived in Poland.

I'm currently focusing on myself anyways, with work, school and exercise to keep me busy.

We both aren't really looking for anyone, and still have feelings for
each other, so i thought we might as well continue with what we have.

*** I'll think about moving on, when the time finally comes, and if it does, it'll take some
time to adjust at first, but i'll eventually seek someone else when i'm ready.

Cerby, you can call it a fling, but why should i give up so easily? , do you give up on a career or dream because it isn't working out at the beginning? , you need to work anything to succeed.

Any relationship has its risks, even in the same country, and the distance
is a factor, but why can't i stay positive ? she makes me happy, so
I want to use that as motivation for whatever goals i want to achieve.

[Saya]

I think that having a long distance relationship does work since I was in it and a lot of my friends was in it as well and they all end up getting married to that long distance relationship partner.

But it requires a lot of commitment, communication, understanding, trust and compromise.
Also, you'll need some sort of goals that you or her will be living in the same country and be together physically...if this isn't in your goal then I don't think there is a point to have a long distance relationship because it is a waste of time and effort.

[Rowen]

Okay, I'm not going to choose sides as to whether you should leave or not, but I will say that your heart needs to be in this. If it's love, this will prove it. The choice, in the end, is up to you. After all, none of us can predict the future. And neither can you.

[basilandthyme]

vincenzo, the pie chart is close. But it missed the 'getting your needs met by someone local'. Or, if that comes under the 'other' category, I think the purple pie should be larger.

[fearoflove]

I have been in a long distance relationship for a little over a year. It failed not primarily because of distance but because we didn't share the same vision for the future and there was no light at the end of the tunnel. It is much nicer to be able to date someone locally because it is enjoyable to see someone physically, have a conversation face to face, cuddle and touch of course. But if it is true love between two people (as in both want to spend the rest of their lives with each other), a few years delay of that is not a big deal.

You can get bored of a long distance relationship much easier and temptations to cheat is higher but if both person feel they have found "the one", it can work.

p.s I remember you Kromat ; ) welcome back to LF

[Wakeup]

So: Are you going to remain celibate until July? How do you spell: B.l.u.e B.a.l.l.s?

[Kromat83]

I've managed for all those years, i'm sure i can handle 6 months.
Sex isn't everything for me, I'd rather be happy, then make that the primary objective.

It is hard not having her in my arms, but if i focus on my goals that i want to achieve here, i can be happier down the line, even if this love doesn't work out in the end, but at least I'll know that i tried and know that I've capable of it with someone else.

Life is all about risks and sacrifices, and this is one that I'm willing to take.

It'll be up to her to decide, but I'm happy at this moment, where things are.

[Wakeup]

I always think that people who are trying to spread a fling out into something that will last a lifetime when the other is half-way around the world have fear of commitment. It's not scary to be "committed" if its only playing. You don't even know who she is. For all you know, she is a married sociopath.

[Kromat83]

Maybe, it's not like i'm in a rush at this moment.
If she was married, why would she lead it on?

It might be a fling like some of you might say,
but it's still good to talk to her.

We still want to keep in contact for now, things might
change in the future, and then I'll decide.

It's not like I'm harassing her, trying to talk or message
her each moment, I have my own life that i went to live,
and have to be happy with what i have here.

If it doesn't work, I've been alone before, so I'll remember
the good memories we shared, and move on.