ex says she loves me but cant handle a relationship right now

[VincenzoG91]

I'm sure she'll let you know by grinding with some random on the dance floor while you look on and left out... you're just her friend now.

Yep. If she wanted to get back together with the OP, she would want a situation where the two of them can just focus on each other. Going to club with her as "just friends" puts him in a situation where he will be seeing dudes hit on her.

[IndiReloaded]

I don't know, i started thinking maybe she's still wants the relationship, except all the fighting, pressure, living and depending with/on eachother... and so on. See what i mean? Any chance?

Frankly, no. There is a saying about relationships "how it starts is how it will end". The ongoing fighting, pressure and dependence you describe is very bad. Now, sometimes people come into relationships at different places in their readiness but when there a true connection, these differences should be relatively quickly overcome with some good communication and honesty.

If she is too insecure to know what she wants and be happy with you, then things will only get worse. You will either grow to despise her or become codependent. Your only option, IMO, is to be true to yourself. Be absolutely clear and tell her how you feel, tell her what you want. If she can't or won't meet you in this, then you need to move on. For both your sakes, I should add.

[mynameisdummie]

So what if she's does beg for us to start again and wants to drastically change how things were, i mean, i been talking with her about therapy (what she obviously needs). I need to just walk away from it, because I have to invest/put some effort in our relationship? Sounds too easy for me :s