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Thread: Great First Date... Advice on how to stepping it up a notch on second date?

  1. #1
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    Great First Date... Advice on how to stepping it up a notch on second date?

    *sorry for the typo on the topic! *step

    Hi!

    This is my first post here, I just found out about these forums, so hi to everyone

    So here's my story:
    I am 24 years old, I went on my first date with this girl yesterday (we had previously IM'd eachother so we kind of already knew some of what we had in common and stuff), and I am not very experienced at dating (my previous relationships were kind of something that happened spontaneously and "in the moment"). I believe our date went really good, we had a lot of fun, had dinner and walked for a while. We spoke for hours, and I made her laugh a lot and also noticed her blushing and giggling at times which was super cute

    We had very interesting conversations on various topics, and maintained eye contact through most of the evening, and a smile on the face. She always seemed very interested in what I was saying as she would lean in and widen up her eyes and smile. Eventually she started playing with her hair, with her coat and touching her neck while talking to me. From previous experiences and advice given to me, I felt it was time to break the touch barrier, so I touched her slightly in the hand while making some kind of point. She did not seem to mind, so I did it once more. While leaving, I always held the door for her and gently followed her exiting the restaurant by placing my hand on her lower back. I tried to be all gentlemanly! (except in the car! I totally forgot I did not open the car door for her! Idiot! >_<) I did not, however, have the guts to try and hold her hand, as I was not 100% sure she was into me at that level, and did not want to ruin it or make things too awkward, as we were having so much fun together. So I drove her home, and she told me she had a lot of fun and wanted to repeat it soon, so we made plans for tomorrow, right there.

    So, tomorrow I am taking her for a walk at an amazing park we have here, and afterwards we are meeting some friends (of mine, she doesn't know them yet) for dinner, as I had already made plans with those friends, and asked her if she would like to come as I would love to have her company. Now, this time, during the walk in the park I want to try and hold hands! Since my previous relationships happened so quickly and spontaneously, I don't really know how to tackle this, or how to tell if she really is THAT into me that I can grab her hand without ruining everything!

    I REALLY like this girl! I've never met someone who I felt so compatible with. All night I felt like she completed me, it was really strange, I never felt that about anyone. I was wishing that night would never end! But alas, here I am, typing this, and not with her

    I am also taking her to a concert in 4 days. It's a very atmospheric Classical / Post-Rock band, those kinds of bands that give out that huge, emotional atmosphere, so I would like to be closer to her when we go there! And I think the next step should be the hand holding! I wanted to do it so much yesterday, but alas, I got really nervous! I did not want to ruin this! I feel like she's special. Also, I know that if I don't step up soon I might end up in what people call "the friendzone", as she might think I'm interested in her only as a friend.

    Any advice would be amazing! Thank you so much for reading!

    Monochrome
    Last edited by monochromedream; 15-02-13 at 10:39 AM.

  2. #2
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    Just do it!
    Never regret anything that has happened in your life. It cannot be changed, forgotten or undone. So, take it as a lesson learned and move on.

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    Quote Originally Posted by basilandthyme View Post
    Just do it!
    This is what I keep telling myself, but I don't know how to do it as not to be too awkward and end up looking awkward and making her feel awkward! My brain says it, my hand won't do it...

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    Have you said "date" to her? Have you made it clear that you're not taking her out as a friend? If so, then don't worry.

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by HeartIsAching View Post
    Have you said "date" to her? Have you made it clear that you're not taking her out as a friend? If so, then don't worry.
    In my language we don't really have a word like "date", we say it as "encounter", so it's not as easy to "categorize" it lol. I did invite her for a romantic dinner... So that would prove that point. (she was actually the one who hinted at me to invite her lol). We also weren't really friends before, we IM'd around 3 times, and spoke to each other once before.

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    Then you should be alright.

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    Yea sounds like you should be alright.

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    Try to kiss her. She'll either let you or she won't. Then you'll know.

  9. #9
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    I think you need to do something physical with her ..
    i took my girl dancing for our first date, because there's
    that connection right from the start, and we are holding each
    other with the frame, touching hand to hand, and it's
    something that can get us sweating.

    I've been doing it multiple years, so it was an easy choice.

    How about swimming ? you can tickle her, hold each
    other there ... go to the sauna, stuff like that.

    Going to dinner is so non-physical, it's mostly talk.

    Walking with each other is a little better,
    not everything has to have food involved.

    I've also went to the movies, but i enjoyed the physical activities the
    most that we shared together like : dancing, swimming, walking, running

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