She, at the other end of the hallway

[Christoph]

Hi everyone

As I couldn't introduce myself yet, I'll try to do it in a nutshell now:

I am Chris, 20, actually I'm working in local Inland Revenue. I'm not in relationship with anyone; In fact, I thought my mind is so far away from this idea, but last time something has changed. But I'm stuck in a place where I can't get out. The matter looks like this:

In my work (Inland Revenue) I am spending an internship with about 8 girls selected the same as me. All of us are divided into different rooms. On the first week of internship, I was in the same room with two interns, one regular employee (+ 1 another regular employee + 1 apprentice, a few days later) - only females.

The atmosphere at start was quite rigid. Each of us were limiting their speaking - however, over time someone said something about themselves, about their plans for the future and additional learning in part-time school etc... I think, in fact I was the least speaking in this group (so I am, unfortunately).

And there was the one girl which paid my attention - she's two years older than me. I think she has calm and sensitive character (Something that many people can find in me, reportedly). But of course, she is able to accurately express herself in the right situation. I always was looking for someone like she, before a long time break when I felt no need to look for anyone.

Unfortunately, I could not do the first step because after one week, our department manager moved me to another room My new fellow-workers are very nice, and funny sometimes, but it's a lack of her, which I feel so much.

The worst thing in this situation is that I can't find a way to contact with her. Look: we are starting working at 7:30 am, I'm at work about 7:15, but she is about 7:36 am. If I had to catch her in the morning, I would be late, as her. After work I can't stop her at all, sometimes she leaves a work first, but sometimes after me, and I can't sync with her. In work, as I said, we are in different rooms, all of use are busy, and it's hard to do anything, knowing that others are watching you.

What can I do with this problem? I always said that "if we sometimes are in hard situation, we have to go for a similarly complicated solutions". But my only idea is write a letter and give it to her through our doorman/receptionist. But I wonder about the meaning of this idea, which may seem comical. Unfortunately I have a feeling that if I do not try something at all, I'll regret it for a long time... very long...

Greetings
Chris

[FlaCooln]

Invite her to lunch.

But, careful w/office romances. It maybe against company policy.

[rob1984]

hey buddy.. here's a good one.. she obviously has issue with her tardiness, being late and stuff.. instill some mystery about your self... stop her after work ( when you can ) and tell her.. meet me here before work at 7:15am I want to ask you something.. but it has to be tomorrow morning before work.. so anyways.. if she shows up she is interested in what you have to say.. her being interested shows there's a form of attraction, She will know the second you ask her if she will be there tomorrow.. When she comes just say, actually can you meet me here for lunch I will tell you then... that should drive her nuts lol.. when you finally meet with her, just say I find you very very interesting.. and i think the get to know each other part was to short.. Tell me more about you. and go from there.. you can skip the second part and just say that in the morning or push it for lunch.


Good Luck Polska.

[Christoph]

Hi, Thanks to all for replies! Yes, I had an idea to invite her somewhere, for a lunch, coffee etc. But it's more difficult than I thought.

Rob, your idea sounds interesting, but I wonder what can happen after this: If I could stop her after work, and ask to meet next day at 7:15, she will be suprised, but she will know what I want, and if she doesn't come, it will be an odd trace of this event, through which we may have trouble to work together (If it can be called "working together" at all), even to say "hello!" at start of any day. I'm just afraid to hurt her, and while there I'd like to try.

After second part I could see her irritation If I played her cat and mouse :p But all in all, there could be a real test if is it worth it, or if she can be interrested. But as I said, stop her after work is hard to accomplish. But I'll try... and still waiting if someone will get next idea - I always listen and read

FlaCooln: why? At first, it's only try to invite her, but who cares about human relationships at the same work at all?

[FlaCooln]

Some companys have a policy against employees dating.

Another option. Leave her a note at her desk/area or call her extension at work. Find a way to invite her. Leave work a few min eary, wait for her, and strike up an coversation/ask her out.

[Christoph]

Thanks FlaCooln, on Monday I'll check what can be done, thanks for advices, maybe push on this known methods will bring a result.

[Christoph]

To complete this thread, I have to add some news about it: In fine, I did it! A little changes have made at work, especially when it comes to location of some people, and it helped me a lot. Actually, she is in another room, with less well-known people for me (so without redundant curious people), and finally I could try to do something in the course of work. "Before" and "after" it wasn't possible at all.

It happened at the Woman Day, two days ago. With very great fear, I came to the room on the ground floor, and after a moment of hesitation, I knocked, and asked her to go outside the room to talk. She said something like "what's up?", and I initially tried to talk about her moving, he new responsibilities etc. Finally I broke my fear, and said "I'd like to ask you..." and "Actually, I wanted to ask about this earlier..." - and the second sentence made her smiling and with interesting gleam in her eyes. After finishing my asking, she said "sure!", so finally we discussed the meeting, and it was done. Of course, after that my euphoria almost ate me, and because of jittery I could not bite my breakfast sandwiches in the room :]

Meeting was good, we basically ordered only a coffee, and were talking. But I doubt about myself because of my stress, which was visible. "I could make it better..." - I said to myself after all. And after meeting, she thanked me, and said "I appreciate it" - this words are the most mysterious for me. This tells me, that my plan to "invite" and just "try" was succesfull - because this is what I wanted. But what happens then, and what I could do with it in the future... I don't know...

But I, with more experience now, I owe both of you guys a sincere thanks for your support, and the addition of self-confidence.

Thanks!
Chris

[FlaCooln]

Good stuff man. You should ask her out again, maybe to a more social setting like dinner and/or drinks.

[rob1984]

Just push the limit every time, if she goes along with it then good, you started with a coffee now go one step up, and include something that you find interesting see how she likes it as well. Do not throw all you got in a shirt period of time. If she goes along every step you can be positive she likes you. After the 3 or 4th date, kiss her and say just wanted you to know what it felt like, in case you were curious.. I love that line works every time.

[Christoph]

@Both of you: thanks for reply!

Unfortunately, I'm afraid if the next step will be possible at all. Today was the first time at work after last meeting. I assumed, that the good way to check if It was whatever important, is for example, checking her reaction after meeting her at work, or see if she's smiling more than earlier, etc (I'm naive, I know). As I wrote, on Friday she said "I appreciate it" after all, but today, in fact, our meeting looked almost the same as before Friday... andthe rest of the day was rather like passing in the corridor with timid smiles on our faces... Of course, everyone has their own responsibilities, and must remember about them - I understand it. I don't know, what will be tomorrow - probably I will have the opportunity to meet her, but with a group of people, but I don't know whether after that, on the private meeting also.

All in all, I think that the main reqiurement in this situation is checking her attitude to me, to get an answer, if the next steps (second third etc.) makes sense at all. I wonder if I can do it at once by invite her to the next step... she can understand my actions as a game or something... that's what I'm afraid.

[Christoph]

Thanks for reply, FlaCooln and Rob!

Unfortunately, I'm afraid if the next step will be possible at all. Today was the first time at work after last meeting. I assumed, that the good way to check if It was whatever important, is for example, checking her reaction after meeting her at work, or see if she's smiling more than earlier, etc (I'm naive, I know). As I wrote, on Friday she said "I appreciate it" after all, but today, in fact, our meeting looked almost the same as before Friday... andthe rest of the day was rather like passing in the corridor with timid smiles on our faces... Of course, everyone has their own responsibilities, and must remember about them - I understand it. I don't know, what will be tomorrow - probably I will have the opportunity to meet her, but with a group of people, but I don't know whether after that, on the private meeting also.

All in all, I think that the main reqiurement in this situation is checking her attitude to me, to get an answer, if the next steps (second third etc.) makes sense at all. I wonder if I can do it at once by invite her to the next step... she can understand my actions as a game or something... that's what I'm afraid.

[Christoph]

This is my next (and probably, the last. or one of the last) post in this thread:

As I mentioned last time, I felt the need to check if the second "step" make sense at all. Short conversation with her, and some questions or statements, uttered to her using the most benign of possible forms, would give aa answer. And so it happened...

Being in uncertainty (from few days) what to do, I tried to go to her office, and use the same method as the last time. But this time, the main goal was to make that "short conversation". The first observation - she leaves her room and goes into the hall with less enthusiasm. I started the conversation by asking for some case at our work (in fact, an average of an important topic, but it turned out and so that I started an interesting discussion, and I pulled a lot of informations for myself). After that, I said something like this - I thought many times about the form of this words, and at the end I delivered some chaotic declaration (about our last meeting on friday, at the Woman Day):

"I want you to know that I realized I did it wrong at that time, and that all of that did not work out quite right, as it could be ... as I could do..." (...etc)

She answered me something like that: "No, it's ok. It was only the collegial meeting, "Women's Day"... you know... and at all it was nice of you, thad you did it" (...etc)

"Collegial meeting", however said, sounds very clearly... I was cut down to size, unfortunately... I knew that I had to reckon with it, and I know it at present. But the pain remained, and will remain, unfortunately. I'm intrigued by it whether she knew that it would be collegial meeting, from the beginning, or not. I know only that on Friday
8th (day of meeting), she talked about it with our other friend from work, between my invitation and meeting. Reportedly, she told that she was surprised by the fact that I could afford such a feat, and that "we will see what will happen". So, if it's true, it means that I myself killed my chances. Anyway, whether or not it really matter now? ...

Once again, thanks again guys for support. Did not have to, but you helped me. Thanks again, a thread is preparing to close...